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Original poster

For calling my wife ‘sick’ over her opinion?

220 replies

BenefitDad · 20/09/2023 19:31

She’s of the opinion that’s it’s strange , borderline ‘emotional incest’ and damn right weird, if an adult son takes their mom out for a meal alone, like just the two of them. She considers this ‘dating’

isnt this completely normal?

OP posts:
whilingawaytime · 22/09/2023 10:56

CultsRbad · 22/09/2023 10:46

They don't assume he's your date, they just know that on very rare occasions and some people looking younger or older than they are, or it's an aunt/nephew or something else that could be the case and they don't want to risk inadvertently offending someone so err on the side of caution.

Nobody wants to be the person who sees a younger man with an older woman and says 'is that your Mum?'. It tends to offend if it's not the case.

Show quote history

People have definitely assumed date for me before, full on romantic table service and serenading and etc. If they were simply unsure no way they'd have done all of that

Mew2 · 22/09/2023 11:08

Surely it's a good thing to spend time with your parents... I regularly still have daddy daughter dates with my dad- started when I was 4 or 5, and have gone from going out for icecream, going to the cinema, going bowling, going for dinner- sometimes my toddler comes sometimes not... I love spending time with my dad (and my mum we tend to leave the child with dad and go for afternoon tea or go shopping)... its not weird it's lovely

pollymere · 22/09/2023 11:11

@CultsRbad Actually we've had people be more blatant about it... How long have you guys been together? type stuff 😂 I guess it's less offensive than assuming your girlfriend is your Mum. It's probably, and I quote others here because I "don't look old enough to be his Mum".

whataboutism · 22/09/2023 11:13

I push my hubby to go out with his mum, to have the two lovebirds out of my sight. Its s different kind of love though : mamma bird and baby bird. 😂

CultsRbad · 22/09/2023 11:39

pollymere · 22/09/2023 11:11

@CultsRbad Actually we've had people be more blatant about it... How long have you guys been together? type stuff 😂 I guess it's less offensive than assuming your girlfriend is your Mum. It's probably, and I quote others here because I "don't look old enough to be his Mum".

I 100% guarantee you look old enough to be your DCs Mum. Because you are for a start.

It's just people appealing to your vanity and you liking it. The overwhelming majority of MNetters and just a lot of people in general, think they look younger than they are and get all excited when someone seems to affirm it.

That's why you get all the 'how old do i look' pics on MN, where posters flounce when the majority guess correctly or even older, because they were anticipating people telling them they look 25 at 40.

In every single one of those 'everyone thinks this Mum and daughter are sisters' posts in the DM or on SM, nearly everyone immediately knows the Mum. Because she looks obviously older than the daughter.

There's something a bit creepy too about Mums proudly tittering about being assumed to be their DS partner.

Ohmylovejune · 22/09/2023 13:02

My son doesn't live at home now and he takes me out when I visit. He's very proud of the fact he can afford to.

I do think when parents call it "date night with my son" it's a weird choice of description but the act of going out itself is fine.

I don't particularly like "date night" description anyway!

Worcesterwoman007 · 22/09/2023 13:04

Totally normal..my son regularly takes me for dins, same as my daughter, odd reaction🤔

ReadyForSomethingSimple · 22/09/2023 13:08

I don't think your wife is "jealous"
I think she perhaps didn't or still doesn't have the same close, emotional relationship with her parents that is suggested you enjoy with yours.
My partner struggles to understand why I'm not particularly close with my parents, don't share everything or visit more often than I do, but he doesn't realise that when I was growing up they were emotionally distant, never cuddled, and let me raise myself. I love them, but I'm not connected in the same way he is to his family. That bond was never created

DizzyDaisy321 · 22/09/2023 13:09

Sounds like she may have a backstory from her own childhood that's been triggered by this totally normal occurrence

willWillSmithsmith · 22/09/2023 13:13

I think it’s lovely and as others have said as long as it’s not in a wierd romantic setting there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. Your wife’s the strange one.

ScotsBluebell · 22/09/2023 13:49

Love going out with my son from time to time and can't imagine why anyone would think it weird. The only slightly embarrassing thing (for him) that occasionally happens is that somebody comes up and says 'you two look so alike!' He's well over 6ft and I'm definitely not, but I know what they mean. Some strong family genes there. We have a good laugh about it though.

Umtheboss · 22/09/2023 14:05

I've been to the pub with my dad....nothing wrong with it ...

whilingawaytime · 22/09/2023 14:09

CultsRbad · 22/09/2023 11:39

I 100% guarantee you look old enough to be your DCs Mum. Because you are for a start.

It's just people appealing to your vanity and you liking it. The overwhelming majority of MNetters and just a lot of people in general, think they look younger than they are and get all excited when someone seems to affirm it.

That's why you get all the 'how old do i look' pics on MN, where posters flounce when the majority guess correctly or even older, because they were anticipating people telling them they look 25 at 40.

In every single one of those 'everyone thinks this Mum and daughter are sisters' posts in the DM or on SM, nearly everyone immediately knows the Mum. Because she looks obviously older than the daughter.

There's something a bit creepy too about Mums proudly tittering about being assumed to be their DS partner.

Show quote history

Nope, as I said above, have had people mistake my dad and I for some romantic couple, despite the fact that he's obviously much older than me. I'm not proud of it at all and am really really disgusted by it.

Just was contradicting your assumption that they're just trying not to be offensive – nope, they're going full on romantic with music and candles and whatnot (and not on Valentine's Day). I'm sure it's a common phenomenon, so just wanted to let you know not to assume so confidently.

LouHey · 22/09/2023 16:40

It's a totally normal thing to do. Would she feel the same way if it was a daughter taking their Mum out?

Dontcallmescarface · 22/09/2023 16:55

Before 2020 me and my dad would go out to eat at least once every 8/9 weeks. Dad enjoyed dining out and mum was often to ill to join him so I would go. We had some lovely meals together and now he's no longer here I miss that 1-1 time with him.

Olika · 22/09/2023 17:08

That's the most stupid thing I have heard for ages

DizzyDaisy321 · 22/09/2023 22:16

Somebody once asked was my husband my son.

DadBodAlready · 23/09/2023 07:50

Seriously..... I'm in my 50's. my mum her 80's and I often take her out for dinner when I visit, as does my brother, especially now she's on her own.

Dgrl04 · 23/09/2023 22:40

Umm what? So if My son took me out to dinner for my birthday just him an I that would be weird to you If my husband didn't Come? It's dinner....with your mother....

Mazpaz · 30/09/2023 08:50

Your wife is lobviously jealous of your mum and your relationship. And I’d trying to split you both up . She is pure nasty 🤢

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