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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For calling my wife ‘sick’ over her opinion?

220 replies

BenefitDad · 20/09/2023 19:31

She’s of the opinion that’s it’s strange , borderline ‘emotional incest’ and damn right weird, if an adult son takes their mom out for a meal alone, like just the two of them. She considers this ‘dating’

isnt this completely normal?

OP posts:
Bringonthesunforthewashing · 20/09/2023 19:51

How weird. Like actually. What is going on in her head?…. Not rational

MysteryBelle · 20/09/2023 19:51

Are you the adult son who takes your mom out for meals just you and her, without your wife? 😂 how often?

TrulyScrumptious22 · 20/09/2023 19:51

Your wife is daft as a brush, what a weird stupid thing to say?!

TomatoSandwiches · 20/09/2023 19:51

I need to know more to judge this specific case tbh.

Regholdsworthswaterbed · 20/09/2023 19:52

I'm guessing she's jealous of your relationship with your mum so she's trying to make out it's weird. It's not, it's lovely.

ISeeMisledPeople · 20/09/2023 19:52

Crikey. Your wife would think I'm a total freak. I even go to gigs (music/comedy) and the cinema with my son.

Is it ok for my daughter to take me out for dinner?

misssunshine4040 · 20/09/2023 19:52

They sounds jealous you have a great relationship with your son.

TooBigForMyBoots · 20/09/2023 19:52

I thought this was going to be about eating Kitkats.

Greensleeves · 20/09/2023 19:52

I think she's wrong, but I'm not sure calling her "sick" was terribly constructive. Does she have a reason to be concerned about mother/son relationships?

Mistressanne · 20/09/2023 19:52

Gosh. Last year I took adult ds on a cruise because dh and ddil weren’t interested. And we shared a cabin.
We’ll definitely rot in hell.😂

HauntingSecrets · 20/09/2023 19:53

As long as you don’t shag her afterwards it’s fine.

PeloMom · 20/09/2023 19:54

@ColleenDonaghy agree! Is it taking mom for dinner multiple times a month or week? And barely takes wife out? There’s more to this than just one dinner …

burnoutbabe · 20/09/2023 19:54

My dad many years ago just happened "to have work in London" on my birthday so we went out for dinner.

And then remembered it was valentines night and we were stuck amongst all the couples. I did loudly say dad as few times to clarify the relationship!

Mistressanne · 20/09/2023 19:54

HauntingSecrets · 20/09/2023 19:53

As long as you don’t shag her afterwards it’s fine.

😳😅

CurlewKate · 20/09/2023 19:54

@Screamingabdabz
it might be a bit weird if she were still married to his dad and dad was not invited…

Why? My dp and I quite often go out with our adult children separately and together. What's weird about that?

Alopeciabop · 20/09/2023 19:56

at first I figured you were a woman and your wife was jealous. Now I’m betting you’re a man and you are a mummy’s boy who chooses your mother over your wife on a constant basis. Hence why you called her sick.

Sherlock Holmes over here

PermanentTemporary · 20/09/2023 19:56

I absolutely love going to dinner with my son because we actually have a conversation!

If I were clinking glasses with my son while his partner was at home slogging with a baby/doing homework with tweens though, id be massively in the wrong. Circumstances innit.

cathcath2 · 20/09/2023 19:56

Your wife is weird. I would love my brother to take my mum out on his own.

StephanieSuperpowers · 20/09/2023 19:57

I like the way the OP has just given enough detail to provoke the criticism of his wife that he's looking for (and is probably enjoying tremendously), but literally no context.

minipeony · 20/09/2023 19:59

StephanieSuperpowers · 20/09/2023 19:57

I like the way the OP has just given enough detail to provoke the criticism of his wife that he's looking for (and is probably enjoying tremendously), but literally no context.

Does allow us to fill in the gaps with wild speculation I guess... come on OP we need context!

Susieb2023 · 20/09/2023 20:00

Your wife is WEIRD!!!

If this is about you and your mum it’s utterly awful that she’s trying to shame you about your relationship with your mum.

AInightingale · 20/09/2023 20:01

Does your wife actually know what incest is?

What a weird thing to say.

SirVixofVixHall · 20/09/2023 20:01

My husband takes his Mum out. I actively encourage him to spend some one on one time with her, not just family time, as I think it is important.
Why does your wife feel this is strange ?

oakleaffy · 20/09/2023 20:02

Mistressanne · 20/09/2023 19:54

😳😅

Show quote history

Now that IS a sick thing to say...Urgh!

Annoyingnamechangerperson · 20/09/2023 20:02

OMG are you my ex who I dumped for practically being one sambuca away from incest?

It depends on context if you ‘have’ to have set nights where you call them ‘dates’ take your mum out, still live at home, have to run everything past her, cry when she is excluded from things by your partner (by things I mean really inconsequential things such as going to the shop), take her on all holidays with you, and can’t bear the thought of spending Christmas Day without her then it’s creepy

If you go out with your mum for meals and are otherwise an independent adult then YANBU

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