Are we classed as "poor" or average

[FutureMrsBourne]

Sorry I couldn't think of a better word.
DH earns around £70k.
I only earn £12ph and work 3 days a week as we have 2 children under 5.
Most of my friends are on slightly more than me an hour but not massively, have maybe slightly nicer but similar houses, only really get their hair done in terms of beauty.. but most of DH's friends partners earn £50+.. have big houses with cinema rooms, bars.. have regular Botox, lip fillers etc.
we live in a 3 bed and semi and have saved since 2018 for a new kitchen.
Are we poor.. or average? I feel such a failure compared to DH's friends wives and I worked bloody hard for my qualifications that are rubbish pay!

And you can only use a pool a few months a year in England. Unless you have an indoor pool

What do you want that you don’t currently have? Stuff is just stuff!

Huh? There are loads of houses in London for less than 700k...in fact, I live in one!

Where are they???!! I’d love to know

South east london...no you won't get a house in Mayfair but come out to unfashionable parts of zone 4 and you will.

A rightmove search for houses (not flats), with at least 2 bedrooms brings up 1093 hits.

I should say, that's with a budget up to 500K

OK! Good to know.

You know you are being silly surely?

you think that anyone who isn’t living a reality TV lifestyle is poor? You think everyone can afford a white Range Rover and Botox and cinema rooms?

I do think you need to either look at some basic income statistics or volunteer at a food bank. Your detonation of poor is quite insulting. In fact I think this must be deliberate.

Honestly, you sound poor mentally more than financially. Do yourself a huge favour and do some self development work to help you not compare yourself to others and instead practice gratitude.

The sad fact is unless you’re mega rich, we’re all poor in this country. It’s just the ‘higher’ earners who aren’t mega rich are spending more of their money on the state than the lower earners but sadly it gets squandered by the government and none of us get to see the benefit.

Well you’re certainly not poor, your DH earns £70k and you can afford for you to work part time which is a luxury. I’d say average-high income.

"...if my wage was pro rata to full time I would only be on around £20k too x..."

Tone deaf comparative comment when you are in a two income household, with one earning 70k, @FutureMrsBourne. 🤦🏼‍♀️

🙄

Why are you comparing yourself to all of these people? You have a DH, DCs and a home and you are both working. Enjoy your life OP and stop stressing about keeping up with the Joneses. One day you'll really have something to worry about ...

Some people are so lacking in awareness.

They sound really classy going to get their teeth done on the cheap Turkiye.

Having botox done at home rather than somewhere nice.

In some parts of the country 700k won't get you much

Maybe they don't have as much money as you imagine

Maybe they are living beyond their means.

Don't fall into the envy trap. Enjoy the comfortable life you have now. You are lucky enough to have the best of both worlds able to work part time and be with your children.

The average wage is £27k. A salary above £60k puts you in the top 10% of income earners and above £180k puts you in the top 1% of income earners.

So at £70k no you are not poor, you are in the top 10%.

I think, assuming this is genuine, one of two things is happening here:

1. You are being financially abused. It is perfectly possible to be really poor (of the not knowing how to buy the next meal variety) when your partner is on a good income if they are abusive.

1. Like most of us, you feel much more restricted in what you can spend than you used to. If you've never actually been poor that can feel like poverty. My friend thinks she's poor because she's had to cut back the number of designer handbags she buys. That's not poverty but she's never had to think about what she spends, so she doesn't know that.

Of course its rich! Anyone struggling on that income is making choices to live beyond their means.

I would say you are neither poor nor average. More like well off. We have a combined income of around £16k and live well enough. I'm not sure I would know what to do if we had your combined income.
It is all relative, though. Maybe you don't budget the same way as we do.

Surely this must depend on the area. To live in many places in the South a household income of £85k won't be close to top 12%. An average 3 bed terrace house without parking near me is around £350k.

Why on Earth does it matter ? Why compare yourself ?
Have you got your health ? Do you love your DH ?

what else are you hankering after ?
Bugger your friends - just get on with your life.

Depends where you live really. That's a salary of 42.5k each, that is not a mega high salary. Rich is surely classed as top few % of earner. 85k is a good joint income but wouldn't pay for a big mortgage, private school and flash cars.

It's a good income, no denying that and many people would do anything to have it. Its not rich though.