Are we classed as "poor" or average

[FutureMrsBourne]

Sorry I couldn't think of a better word.
DH earns around £70k.
I only earn £12ph and work 3 days a week as we have 2 children under 5.
Most of my friends are on slightly more than me an hour but not massively, have maybe slightly nicer but similar houses, only really get their hair done in terms of beauty.. but most of DH's friends partners earn £50+.. have big houses with cinema rooms, bars.. have regular Botox, lip fillers etc.
we live in a 3 bed and semi and have saved since 2018 for a new kitchen.
Are we poor.. or average? I feel such a failure compared to DH's friends wives and I worked bloody hard for my qualifications that are rubbish pay!

You only need to worry about this if Botox, lip fillers and home cinema rooms are a big deal to you.

I read the title and got to "DH earns 70k" and didn't bother to read on. Surely you must be joking?

Shes not though, only the DH is a high earner, if it was equal then its just over 40k each.

That's income alone in comparison to average income. Of course in some areas that income wealth equals more or less leftover after housing costs. OP was quoting income alone.

A not so stealth boast. Just ignore the attention seeking OP.

Median full time earnings in London are £41k.

you aren’t poor just because you can’t afford a £350k semi!!!!

the mumsnet bubble Is terrifying!

Who said that would make you poor? I certainly didn't so not sure why you're quoting my post. I said it wasn't rich earning 42k a year. Its a very good salary, not sure anyone can actually deny that, definitely not rich though.

And it is not 350k for a 3 bed semi here, you'd be looking at over 400k for that, and we're not close to London, just a bog standard 3 bed with no parking.

A teacher or nurse earns less than half of your husband's wage?! So does a Research Scientist. We've never had a combined income that large. Definitely above average and definitely not poor.

Is this a joke? Who the hell has friends with cinemas and bars in their houses, unless they're all WAGs? Either you're being lied to or they are dumbing down their footballer husbands salaries to make you feel OK.....

Income is irrelevant except in term of where you live. Central London, you need a massive salary. Outer Hebrides, a different story. And a whole range in between!

I live in the South but not too close to London. A salary of £70K plus your wage on top would make most people pretty comfortable.

I get that you're unhappy about earning such a low wage after maybe years of training - that's a different matter. Sadly, some jobs don't pay well even when you have qualifications.

You said £70k wouldn’t be close to top 12% in many places and it wouldn’t buy a terrace where you live (sorry I misquoted to type of house).

i am Pointing out that the regional difference is salaries is not significant - and that £70k salary is well above average in all parts of the uk.

What a shallow individual needs educating

Everybody in the UK, at every point on the socio-economic spectrum, is better off than poor people routinely starving to death in other parts of the world. Here everybody gets free food, shelter, healthcare, TV, heating, clothing, education......
On the other hand, there are always people with more than you, and sometimes very much more, so you will be poor by their standards. They may well be mad, miserable or dying in agony, but you are relatively, financially, poor.
It is up to you to set your own expectations, and those of your dependants, but you can live well and happily within your means, without foolish jealousy.
If it is any consolation, we are all levelled in the end, and the wisest of us knows not how soon. There are probably more important things to think about. Anyway
the word "poor" is utterly unhelpful!

I earn similar to you , OP, but don't have a partner. So your family income is, to me, eye-wateringly high. I do go without lots of things (few meals out, pub visits a rarity, I only buy second hand clothes, no make up, cigarettes, dentist only when I can afford it etc.). You're doing pretty darn well in my book.

Depends how you measure success?
Money, whilst it's helpful for comforts, does nor buy happiness, good health or peace.

I'd say you were average in terms of earnings between you.

Are you average in life rewards?

You are not poor by any stretch of the imagination but if you are watching other peoples lives so closely & trying to keep up with then I imagine you could have financially over stretched yourselves over the years.

STOP watching other people’s lives & just live your own!!!
Everything those other people have will probably be HP or ‘on tick’ & I imagine they are mortgaged up-to the hilt to boot!

Honestly many would be very happy with your family income & able to manage a good life, as well as good retirement, on that sort of money.

If you are struggling look at your family finances & do things to fix that rather than burying your heads in the sand.

Try being a disabled person or a single parent trying to survive on less than £17,000 a year in this economic climate!

I was talking about household income, £85k household income would not be top 12%. That's the relevant figure in the OP, not really the 70k. If they were both on 70k then that's different.

Uk median household income is 35k before taxes and benefits - 38k after taxes and benefits

So 85 is not average or poor

Median household income is lower than median full time salary - so yes I would say it’s still top 10%.

median weekly household income in the south east is £622

My ex earns the same as your dh, I earn similar to you are we were pretty well off, (he's less well off now as he decided he "wanted different things" and left me so had to split assets and pay maintenance but still has been able to buy a nice new house!) I calculated we were top 10% of incomes then.

I now live with dp and we are better off as he earns more and no mortgage, but only because we are older and have paid it off

No one (other than OP) has said its poor though, pretty much every has said its well above above.

No one is disputing its a good income, everyone on this thread has said its above average household income or we'll off but I just do not think its rich. I am surprised 85k is in top 10%. I thought that 32k median was disposable income, not total income but I could well be remembering wrong.

IMO, it is irrelevant, I would define rich as someone who can afford a large mortgage, expensive cars, private school and expensive holidays. If living in the South of England then £85k a year household income is not getting close to those things.

We are allowed different opinions, you don't have to agree with me you know 🤷‍♀️

I think the issue is that wages have long stagnated or grown at much slower rates than house prices, and more recently, the cost of living, so even those on above average wages might feel the pinch depending on essential outgoings.
What was expected or affordable on a higher than average salary 10, 20 or 30 years ago is no longer achievable, particularly in areas where housing expensive.
....But that still doesn't equate to being poor. It can be quite possible to struggle to pay bills (particularly mortgage) and childcare despite having, on paper, a reasonable salary. But the OP is talking about completely optional non essential items like botox and cinema rooms. Ideally you'd expect to be able to have some luxuries on a household income that size, but not having them does nor mean you are poor.

I think the issue is you went to statistics - saying the household income would not be top 12% in some regions. That’s why people are arguing with you.

but yes agree to differ. I do love a good statistic!

Apologies re the stats, I genuinely thought the £32k was disposable household income which would have been significantly different. I love statistics, it's literally my job 😂 (nothing to do with household income statistics luckily)

I earn just over 60k but my friends who live in a cheaper part of the U.K are in a better position than me. Own their own home instead of renting (my rent is £1500), I can get a mortgage for a 2 bed flat (so means I’m on the sofa bed when both my teens stay) and it would be half my salary with current rates. I’m definitely not poor and am fortunate to be able to eat out, go to the theatre quite often etc but I’m far from rich. If I was in a 2 person household I’d be in a better position. As it stands I’m just going to move to a cheaper part of the U.K. in 3yrs time when youngest child goes to Uni. It is relative to the area you live in. I found a house for 60k in County Durham which means I’d only need a mortgage for 20k instead of well over 200k here