To be annoyed that DH isn't home to cook dinner?

[firnk]

We both work long hours. I tend to work longer hours. But it seems like he always finds an excuse to stay in the office until later than me, so I get home and have started preparing him dinner.

Today he said he was leaving the office at around 7:00. Great I said, could he cook dinner (simple dish). I then got home around 8:15 expecting dinner to be ready. No sign of him. I text and he said he had to do something else but would leave now. I said ok, we can cook together when he gets back. Then I get an arsey reply telling me to eat without him he wants to do something else at work. Aka he wants me to cook his dinner.

He said eat without him. So do that. There is nothing in his reply to suggest you have to cook his portion.

Make dinner for you.

He can get his own

He thinks it's your job because you have a vagina.

I've worked with some men over the years who always seem to think they are so important that they have to work late but it always seems to coincide with getting out of housework and childcare

Annoyingly they tend to get promoted due to presenteeism being rewarded even though their time management tends to be shit

If he's told you to eat without him cook for yourself and let him sort himself out when he gets home

Eat without him, as he suggested, he can sort himself out when he gets home.

Can you not just take it in turns to cook? Or batch cook together at the weekend so you don't have to bother cooking in the week if you both work long hours? I feel like there's ways around this that don't involve this passive aggressive weirdness.

I would order myself a takeaway and then have an early night.

But I am a mardy bitch.

YANBU. He is a pathetic lazy arse hole. And selfish. My days of cooking for him would be over!

It all sounds so stressful, trying to be the last one home so the other one has to cook.
Just batch cook at weekends as a pp suggested and stop using dinner time as a battlefield.
Who lives like that?

But of a strong reaction to your partner having to work late 🤦‍♀️

And would OP be doing that batch cooking?

Why do you need to cook together when he gets back? Just cook for yourself and eat.

And this sounds a very stressful way to live. Why not both look to improve your work/life balance.

Don’t cook for him if he won’t for you.

Just make yourself dinner and let him sort himself out.

Though I have to say if my partner suggested at 8.15pm that when I got home we could cook together, I would be coming home via the takeaway or suggesting sandwich night.

Have a chat with him and get a new system involving assembly meals or weekend batch cooks.

text back, ok you can do it tomorrow instead. I’ll get myself a takeaway. And put some PA kisses on it. He’s an arsehole.

That’s up to her isn’t it.

She doesn’t have to cook for him, and unless he is playing his part in other ways, she shouldn’t.

I'd text back, nah I'll wait for you so we can cook together. Then get a takeaway, eat and go to bed! See how long he stays at work to try and get out of cooking! Cant believe he's giving up his evening just to get out of cooking! Idiot!

It’s a red herring saying ‘cook for yourself’. It means ‘cook and I’ll just have whatever is left over AKA you’ve cooked for two’

If he refuses to help she could do it for herself only.
Strangely aggressive response, @ItsADoggieDogWorld ?

What?

Before I had kids I worked long hours. Often wasn’t home until after 9. It was nothing to do with avoiding cooking or housework. I just enjoyed my (very busy) job and wanted to do well at it.

if my husband had started demanding I come home to cook the tea I’d have been unimpressed. I usually just grabbed a sandwich or beans on toast etc when I came in.

different if you have kids but you haven’t mentioned them

@CecilyStreet not really. He’s purposely staying out late when he had originally planned to come home, to avoid household duties. Sounds pretty lazy and selfish if you ask me!!

He's a lazy sausage. Just cook for yourself.

He may not be “purposefully” doing any such thing.
Most people have to work late at some point.
Then again, he could be…
Would anyone seriously skulk at work for a couple of hours they didn’t have to just to avoid cooking dinner, though?!

If neither of you want to do so much cooking, can’t you just cook dinner together at the weekends and each do your own very basic thing during the week.

cook yours, put the raw ingredients for his portion in the freezer

Don't have children with him.

he said eat without him, so do that. He can sort his own dinner.