To be annoyed that DH isn't home to cook dinner?

[firnk]

We both work long hours. I tend to work longer hours. But it seems like he always finds an excuse to stay in the office until later than me, so I get home and have started preparing him dinner.

Today he said he was leaving the office at around 7:00. Great I said, could he cook dinner (simple dish). I then got home around 8:15 expecting dinner to be ready. No sign of him. I text and he said he had to do something else but would leave now. I said ok, we can cook together when he gets back. Then I get an arsey reply telling me to eat without him he wants to do something else at work. Aka he wants me to cook his dinner.

Urgh I hate how so many men think cooking is not for them to do. I would just have a row/confront him and tell him he's taking the P. Can't bottle things like this inside without having a go otherwise will explode 😂

If this was me and DP we'd be using this situation as the perfect excuse to order a takeaway and crack open a bottle of wine.

I'd be exhausted by the kind of point-scoring battle you're describing over something as mundane as dinner. I can't be doing with it.

I was on a call once with some clients (while my kid was in the other room with cartoons and Haribo so I could take his unscheduled call), and they both laughed about how they'd stay at work late to avoid looking after their kids.

ex took it a stage further, and left the country for 3 months in second lockdown. There's a reason he's an ex.

Don't be surprised at how lazy some men can be.

OP - cook your own dinner and leave him to his own devices. His reaction to this will tell you a lot that you need to know.

Just eat separately during the week unless you have a prior discussion arranging a date night. Which means you both make your own meals. Clearly label any leftovers as being for your lunch. No need to be in each other's pockets every night, or to cook for him.

I would just cook for me. Let him fend for himself.

How did you keep your cool during that call? I'd've been livid!

I didn't keep them as clients.. they did try to stiff me on the bill though - wronguns through and through.

It was said right here. I’m sure you’ll be apologising to @CapEBarra any second now…

Tiredbehyondbelief · Yesterday 22:12
You are killing your marriage with your long hours. You need to make a strategic decision what's more important to you. If he is always wiggling out of chores let him be the breadwinner and take it easy with your career. Alternatively, stop complaining. I know it sounds harsh.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Seriously? Who lives like this?

If he refuses to help she could do it for herself only. re batch cooking.
Anything she preps 'for herself' that lazy arse is going to assume is his, and take as if it's his right.

^This^

I’ve had the male colleagues being very blatant about waiting for bath and bedtime to be over , as well. I doubt they put the oven on when they got home, either

He sees you as mummy. Deeply unattractive in a man.

You’d have to wonder!
Seriously; “No, op can’t batch cook for herself, that lazy arsehole will just take it as his right”.
The sort of creatures some posters are obviously hooked up with is astounding.
Serious projection going on.

Am i the only one who wants to know what you had for dinner last night?😂

I actually think don't have children with him was excellent advice!

You need a conversation with him to sort out sharing the cooking. Either that or you just feed yourself and he can sort himself out.

Perhaps make your own dinners in the week, like jacket potato/beans on toast/pasta/omelette/eggs/cold chicken drumsticks with salad etc. So he does his own. Then sat/sun you can take turns to cook.

You tend to work later so maybe he got fed up with making your dinner all the time?

Finally, a sensible poster suggesting having an actual conversation with him 👏
After a thread full of “Don’t have children with him” (!), it’s refreshing indeed 🤣

Me and DP sort ourselves out if we've got different schedules, and take it in turns when we're both around. It works fine. We both cook extra portions when what we're making suits it, so there's always a good amount in the freezer for when we really can't be bothered.

Just talk to him. The little things that are annoying for a couple of times can suddenly be a deal breaker after a few months. He might not realise how annoying it is, so tell him!

Men are absolutely clueless sometimes until you tell them how irritating this is.

You need these cardshttps://www.fairplaylife.com/the-cards?fbclid=IwAR2gG_v2_VAS7uasLBnvPJveyPstn_u_jR-Fx7saQgp_8v2_MxtbGwo84qs

Tbh you both sound a bit childish. Neither of you sound especially lazy (unless he is infact sneaking to the pub and not actually at work late ...) The bottom line is that eveninge aren't really conducive to a gormet meal. Simplify it. Batch cook a couple of things at the weekend eg curry/bolognaise. Simplify your evening meals. Steak with oven cooked sweet potato fries for example takes hardly any prep. Have the odd oven food/takeaway night. I think you just both need to have an honest conversation at the weekend about the pressure you're under at work and how you can work together to make an agreeable plan. I think the pileon and verbal abuse towards your DP on here is unfair and unhelpful tbh. We have no idea really whether he's consciously shirking responsibilities or genuinely swamped at work or whether there's other issues. Don't take keyboard warriors too seriously OP. It's your relationship, only you know the ins and outs

This, and start going out to eat on the way home, sorry not cooking tonight Ive already eaten.