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Barbie movie: America Ferrera’s speech on being a woman

225 replies

ClairDeLaLune · 06/08/2023 16:44

“It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.

"You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass. You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman, but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men’s bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining.

"You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

"I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don’t even know."

Brilliant. That is all.

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 06/08/2023 16:49

I dont relate to this.
I do as I please, I say what I like, I fail and succeed and I never have to answer for mens bad behaviour...
Everyone has a different experience I suppose but that isn't mine.

FrivolousTreeDuck · 06/08/2023 16:49

Might resonate with sheep-like women who care about social norms, I suppose.

Sigmama · 06/08/2023 16:50

Ooh Frivolous, go you

MadamWhiteleigh · 06/08/2023 16:52

She doesn’t speak for all women and should not pretend that she does.

Moredarkchocolateplease · 06/08/2023 16:53

I get it totally. Resonates with me. I'm in my 40s and find it harder than ever to deal with.

Anoushkaka · 06/08/2023 16:53

Nope, can't relate.

Lapflop · 06/08/2023 16:54

MadamWhiteleigh · 06/08/2023 16:52

She doesn’t speak for all women and should not pretend that she does.

She doesn't say she does, it's a speech her character gives in a film about Barbie ffs.

User6424678852 · 06/08/2023 16:54

I totally relate to that. I am probably not so “special and unique” as those who don’t.

Lapflop · 06/08/2023 16:55

FrivolousTreeDuck · 06/08/2023 16:49

Might resonate with sheep-like women who care about social norms, I suppose.

Or women that live in a world where social norms have an affect on the way they are treated.

CloudyMcCloud · 06/08/2023 16:56

I haven’t seen the movie but like pp I can’t relate

FuppingEll · 06/08/2023 16:56

Moredarkchocolateplease · 06/08/2023 16:53

I get it totally. Resonates with me. I'm in my 40s and find it harder than ever to deal with.

Can I ask why you do it then? It's never occurred to me to tie myself into knots so people like me, I would ask if it is a low confidence thing but I wouldn't say I am a particularly confident person either, maybe I'm just too lazy to care if people like me or not.

JamSandle · 06/08/2023 16:57

I think it's a great speech.

But I also couldn't give a shit if someone doesn't think im pretty enough etc.

ConnieTucker · 06/08/2023 16:57

Notimeforaname · 06/08/2023 16:49

I dont relate to this.
I do as I please, I say what I like, I fail and succeed and I never have to answer for mens bad behaviour...
Everyone has a different experience I suppose but that isn't mine.

That is naive. Women are always held to account for men’s behaviour. Abusive man? His mother spoiled him. Murderous husband? Kind sweet man pushed to the brink by family life. Rapist? What was she wearing? Man murders random woman. Why was she out of the house at insert any number time?

you might not have thought you have personally, but women have.

TheOpeningActofSpring · 06/08/2023 16:57

Thing is. It’s nothing that hasn’t been said a million times before. Surely, by now, this issue is nothing groundbreaking? I don’t get why this is being hailed as that massive feminist moment.

TheOpeningActofSpring · 06/08/2023 16:58

*Thing is:

Coffeedrinker7 · 06/08/2023 16:58

FrivolousTreeDuck · 06/08/2023 16:49

Might resonate with sheep-like women who care about social norms, I suppose.

Ouch. You don’t recognise anything about the way women are treated/ perceived in the world in this at all? Lucky you.

Notimeforaname · 06/08/2023 16:59

That is naive. Women are always held to account for men’s behaviour. Abusive man? His mother spoiled him. Murderous husband? Kind sweet man pushed to the brink by family life. Rapist? What was she wearing? Man murders random woman. Why was she out of the house at insert any numbertime?

you might not have thought you have personally, but women have.

Not naive no. What you're describing is simply not my experience of life.

And I was speaking personally.
Just about me.

FuppingEll · 06/08/2023 17:01

ConnieTucker · 06/08/2023 16:57

That is naive. Women are always held to account for men’s behaviour. Abusive man? His mother spoiled him. Murderous husband? Kind sweet man pushed to the brink by family life. Rapist? What was she wearing? Man murders random woman. Why was she out of the house at insert any number time?

you might not have thought you have personally, but women have.

But who cares? Genuinely, so long as you know the deal then who cares what people say. What is the point. Is tying yourself up in knots going to stop it? Is it fuck so what's the point then. I don't really get what you are trying to say. Is it if women try harder then they won't be blamed? Because that seems pretty shitty tbh.

FrivolousTreeDuck · 06/08/2023 17:02

Coffeedrinker7 · 06/08/2023 16:58

Ouch. You don’t recognise anything about the way women are treated/ perceived in the world in this at all? Lucky you.

I've never felt I 'have to be thin', be a mother (let alone love being a mother), be a 'boss' (whatever that means) 'look out for other people' and as for 'staying pretty', I was never pretty to begin with.

Load of tripe.

Sigmama · 06/08/2023 17:05

Frivolous, and on top of all that, you feel the need to insult others, so unshackled!

Dropthedonkey · 06/08/2023 17:08

OP you are of course, right.
Some posters on here 🙄

CloudyMcCloud · 06/08/2023 17:08

Dropthedonkey · 06/08/2023 17:08

OP you are of course, right.
Some posters on here 🙄

If people don’t relate that’s their call surely

User41 · 06/08/2023 17:09

Its great for those posters who haven’t personally allowed themselves to be affected by the issues raised in the speech.

But I think it’s ludicrous to imply that there isn’t a societal pressure on women to be thin, and remain youthful looking. As above hats off to those who don’t succumb to that pressure but to suggest it doesn’t exist is just being wilfully blind I suspect because it doesn’t fit your political leanings or stance on ‘wokeness’.

UglyNameChange · 06/08/2023 17:10

””You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. ””””

Nice misogyny right there.
Poor pretty women, ugly women hate them 🙄
Clearly writen by someone who has always had pretty privilidge, no idea how people, pretty women included, treat ugly women.

Also, what sisterhood?

You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time.

And of course they left out the fact that you have to want to be a mother.
No idea why they left that one out.

If this is the best women can get and see as ’empowering’ we are totally fucked!
Nostly about being pretty and mother.
How regressive.
Many of us figured out that make-up and pandering to men is all bullshit a long time ago.
We’re not all brainless pick-me’s.

The speech was very misogynystic actually.

User41 · 06/08/2023 17:10

(Picking the above two as examples)