Barbie movie: America Ferrera’s speech on being a woman

[ClairDeLaLune]

“It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.

"You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass. You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman, but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men’s bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining.

"You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

"I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don’t even know."

Brilliant. That is all.

But I think it’s ludicrous to imply that there isn’t a societal pressure on women to be thin, and remain youthful looking.

So, don't succumb to it! While you succumb to it, you perpetuate it. I, and I'm sure many women, don't need some over-hyped speech in a 2023 film to tell us not to do what we haven't been doing since the 1970s.

I think it captures nicely the double standards that women often experience.

It’s easy to say I don’t care about the fact that I’m not pretty, not thin, not particularly concerned if people dislike me… but all that will have negative effects from time to time. And flouting the expectation that I should care will also have negative effects.

I do think it’s important to object to the unreasonable social expectations placed on women, even if I think I can operate outside then most of the time.

I don't think it's been hailed as that, but it is very unusual to for it to be highlighted in a hugely successful film. Heck, having female leads and directors is still fairly unusual.

We’re not all brainless pick-me’s

There's an irony to this comment for sure!

It doesn't matter whether you as an individual succumb to it or not though, your value as dictated by others is often assigned to this- especially in some work sectors, as is the way you are treated. Women for a long time has been pushing back on these regressive and harmful expectations, that in itself isnt special, enlightened or unique; but society hasn't caught up though in many cases. Not every woman will experience the effects of this for sure, many will, some without realising though.

I don’t recognise any of that so I disagree that it’s brilliant. It comes across as over privileged whining to me.

So unless women are happy to be fat and look old they’re not doing feminism right?

Can someone please explain why Barbie chose to go live in the patriarchal real world in the end?

There's something in between 'fat' and 'thin' called 'a healthy weight'.

Absolutely women should embrace looking their age.

I agree with this

I find the eye rolling in pp a bit much. I mean we don’t all feel the same way, we can say why not

Clearly a bloke!

@MadamWhiteleigh er it’s a film. You know pretend film.

I think it's a very American viewpoint for a lot of women.

The speech is for younger women, and I think it is something worth repeating to young women in the West every year or so.

The film is also mostly for young women and men, or so I gather I haven’t seen it yet but probably will when I can see it on Netflix or another streaming service. So being older, it is old hat to me and I don’t care anymore. But I did care, and this is a Nice and simple speech for young women to start thinking differently. That is good.

I love Barbie, even if I look nothing like her.
She’s a doll!
I thought a lot of these things when I was younger, though I railed against them - and I reckon a lot of young girls and women feel and think these things still today.

Ooh, edgy, those who don't identify 🙄
I found it relatable, despite finding the film pish.

It hit a nerve with me too. Totally got it.

I was trying to figure out why this didn't sit well with me. This is it.

The whole thing made me throw up in my mouth.

I've seen the film and didn't take it too seriously but the speech hit a nerve with me. Not so much for societal expectations but the expectations I place on myself as a woman.

💯

I was raising my eyebrow at this part of the movie as I simply cannot relate.

However, some woman behind me was having an epiphany and shouting out "Yes!".

Why edgy though?

I don’t feel edgy

I mean sure, Go You for not pandering to men, not feeling pressured to be thin and of course parenthood is an individual choice etc but meanwhile we live in a society where you’re more likely to be employed in a higher paid role if you’re thinner, interviewers judge women on their appearance far more than men and you’re more likely to be made redundant if you’re pregnant, or returning from mat leave and er there’s a gender pay gap that doesn’t care how Go You you might be.

I can hear you sneering

Isn't it a bit of a simplified version of "Be a Lady, they said" by Camille Rainville, that was publicised a little while ago by being read as a monologue in black and white by Cynthia Nixon? This Barbie speech is like an abridged version with fewer references to sexual assaults.

Also didn’t relate and agree it seemed like over privileged whining.

Right I know this is going to go down well but…generally speaking I’ve noticed there is an interesting correlation between those women who essentially claim there is no longer any need for modern day feminism or that they don’t recognise lived experiences of sexism and those who also claim that women’s rights are being oppressed by the transgender movement.

Feels contradictory