Barbie movie: America Ferrera’s speech on being a woman

[ClairDeLaLune]

“It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don’t think you’re good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we’re always doing it wrong.

"You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can’t ask for money because that’s crass. You have to be a boss, but you can’t be mean. You have to lead, but you can’t squash other people’s ideas. You’re supposed to love being a mother, but don’t talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman, but also always be looking out for other people. You have to answer for men’s bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you’re accused of complaining.

"You’re supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you’re supposed to be a part of the sisterhood. But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful. You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It’s too hard! It’s too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

"I’m just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don’t even know."

Brilliant. That is all.

I haven’t RTWT but I clicked on it looking forward to the contrary poster and they did not disappoint!

Ha!

Actually this is an interesting point in itself.

While I still think that this speech was important because it's reaching audiences that may not otherwise engage with a feminist or women's rights speech, there is maybe a deeper question about why everyone is paying attention.

A white, pretty, slim blonde woman who is wonderfully feminine has made a speech which echoes what feminists have been saying for years. And as we all know, feminists are only ever angry middle aged and non-conforming women (I hope the sarcasm translates here!). The latter are dismissed as Karens, hysterical menopausal women, man-haters....you get the gist....while this is being treated as a serious and worthwhile subject.

Because a pretty, slim, attractive, blonde woman has shone a light on the issue, it's being treated somewhat differently. I don't mean here on MN, but in the wider society. So isn't that misogynistic in itself? That it's only become a worthwhile subject because it's come from an acceptably attractive source - it's not those misbehaving, pesky feminists saying it because no one wants to hear from them?

I don't know. Just an interesting thought.

SpidersAreShitheads

I think you're right.

It's packaging the acceptable sides of feminism in a pretty and un-threatening package.

It's feel good feminism, a bit like other forms of 'you do you girl' feminism, everything is empowering feminism and so on. To me it's the sort of thing that sounds nice, gets people talking but is ultimately thought-terminating most of the time because there's little push or encouragement to ask WHY this is the case.

Probing why and asking awkward question about systemic issues isn't fashionable though.

"A white, pretty, slim blonde woman who is wonderfully feminine has made a speech which echoes what feminists have been saying for years."

The speech was delivered by America Ferrera.

America Ferrar isnt blonde nor white. I do agree though that some deliveries of the same message are better received.

Not a speech made by Barbie! America's character worked in the corporate world (hence the work comments) and had a difficult relationship with her daughter. It wouldn't make sense if Barbie had made the speech.

A lot of pp are saying that it isn't groundbreaking and doesn't tell them anything they didn't already know.

That is probably because you were raised in a family that discussed these issues, or you have sought out other sources or reading, or you have well informed friends.

Surely you can imagine that many women had never thought about these issues, or discussed them, or read about them. Those women heard the speech and it resonated with them, or made them think about or discuss these issues for the first time. A pp said she cried because she felt seen. And it was more powerful for many because it was wholly unexpected in a Barbie movie.

I think the director has done something wonderful. It wasn't telling the world about this new thing called patriarchy, of course that's not groundbreaking, but how often does a movie prompt this much conversation about these issues and make a billion in a fortnight.

It might be age related. I'm older and don't feel like this but I think I used to.

Ellie Taylor gave a similar( but far cleverer) speech on The Mash Report several years ago.

Not knocking this but it resonated with me at the time.

I think you’re mistaken in the point of the speech. It’s pointing out misogyny in society and whilst may not cover all bases - it covers a lot of them. Reread it without your ‘woke’ glasses on and I’m sure you’ll get the point it’s trying to get across. If not, that’s cool too.

men have a privilege over women and we need to stop squabbling over things like this. I understand wanting to see misogyny everywhere and the woke ideals of today. But feminism at its core for me is for me as a woman to be equal, to have the same privilege as my male counterparts - without infringing on the rights of other women, race, sexuality etc.

however, on the flip side, I’m also rooting for misandry to be rooted out and cancelled too. Love thy neighbour and all that jazz.

The cleverness for me is getting this speech in a box office smash movie seen by a cross section of women (and quite a few men) and being talked about in the media.
Women here on FWR make better speeches but don't have the same audience!

Probably. The internet is a big place. But they'd be hugely missing the point.

Barbie is a stereotype that is marketed to women for them to conform to. But Ken is not marketed to men. He's just an adjunct of Barbie, the parallel of which is women in the real world, ie, they're adjuncts to men.

Ken's not supposed to be the stereotypically perfect man. He's Just Ken!

Ugh no... since posting that I looked up the I'm Just Ken song and.... yep, people are taking Ken seriously. (facepalm)

But the above is what I thought the film said about him though.

Woke?
😂

Yeah, better not listen to you.
Tbh, you wrote a lot, but didn’t actually say anything.

The speech was quite misogynystic in many places.
It’s clear, and I don’t have ’woke’ glasses, whatever tou tried to imply with that.

That speech got a round of applause in the cinema I was in! Genuinely surprised women on here can’t relate to any of that… because it’s all true unfortunately

There's been something similar doing the rounds on social media for years. Nothing new.

And - it’s a film. Made up. You don’t have to agree or disagree with anything in it.

‘"A white, pretty, slim blonde woman who is wonderfully feminine has made a speech which echoes what feminists have been saying for years."

America F delivered this speech.Does that make a difference to you??

And sometimes white women are feminists. Of all shapes sizes and interpretations of ‘feminine’.

Well, starting off with “thin” and “pretty” is not going to resonate with me, who doesn’t really aspire to these, as I don’t value these at all.
But then I don’t see the words “kind”, “conscientious”, “compassionate” or “trustworthy” in there either…
My DM (long passed) taught me to be comfortable in my own skin, to do what is right, to try to see the best in people. She also ensured that I was educated to a standard where I can hold my own in conversation and discussion, understand most topics from Art, Literature and Music, to Engineering, Science and Philosophy.
I have taught my DC the same. We don’t look down on people who are overweight, ugly or unhealthy (most people are not defined by their looks: it’s what they have to say that is interesting) and to find out that a huge number of people are weighed down by this shallowness is quite depressing!

Depressing but not surprising surely?

What's surprising to me is that you are only just finding out that some women feel like this.

Not everyone had the benefit of a wonderful dm, an excellent education or the confidence to live life without ever attempting to conform in any capacity.

You only have to look on Instagram and TikTok et al to see how much men value value 'thin' and 'pretty' and how women seem to spend their lives miserably chasing these attributes.

Look at 'Love Island' - a show based entirely around those values, and ridiculously popular.

Those posters sneerily telling us it doesn't resonate, are missing the point that for a huge part of the world, women ARE still held to impossible standards and blindly pursue those standards without giving any consideration to how unfair and duplicitous those standards are. There are songs that tell women to stand by abusive husbands, and that being treated badly is sexy. Girls are being taught that choking and anal sex is normal and that if they want to keep their man, they should accept it.

America Ferrera's speech spoke implicitly to all of this. It may not have mentioned it expressly, but if you genuinely can't see that this stuff is STILL a huge problem, for a lot of women around the world (even if not yourselves) then it's no wonder we feel like nothing will ever change.

Look at the beauty industry. Look at the cosmetic surgery industry. Targeted to and consumed predominantly by women seeking to ever chase impossible standards. We mustn't age, we mustn't show evidence of having had children, but not wanting children makes you a freak. Don't age, but don't have too much plastic surgery.

You're absolute fools if you genuinely can't see beyond your own experiences to see that globally, this absolutely is the attitude.

Maybe come down from your ivory towers and take a look some time.

The pressure to remain youthful comes as much from other women as men.

Yeah and Holly Willoughby is a right bitch for throwing Phil Schofield under a bus 🙄 I actually read this multiple times - even on mumsnet!

I agree, you see this all the time.

I can relate to a lot in the speech, but not all of it. But then I also think the best leaders, whatever sex, are those who empower others, own their decisions and mistakes and lead by good example. I judge both men and women harshly for making it to the top and pulling the ladder up after them. Most people (and especially women, actually) judge women more harshly for doing it though.

Well, starting off with “thin” and “pretty” is not going to resonate with me, who doesn’t really aspire to these, as I don’t value these at all.

Society does though whether you do for yourself is somewhat irrelevant.

Well, starting off with “thin” and “pretty” is not going to resonate with me, who doesn’t really aspire to these, as I don’t value these at all.

Society does though whether you do for yourself is somewhat irrelevant.