Help me do this pl - splitting holiday villa costs

[captainmarvella]

Morning. Planning a landmark event celebration next year in pool villa in a very sought after destination spot.

Bedroom 1 - DH & I
Bedroom 2 - Best Friend and her DH
Bedroom 3 - Friend's teenaged kids (2)
Bedroom 4 - Friend's BIL & his DP
Bedroom 5 - Friend's BIL's adult child

Villa rental is 3000$ / week. Friend has suggested that each family pays 1000$.

I feel grumpy that the split is a threeway when my DH and I will use only one bedroom. But DH says not to make a fuss as it is a long awaited celebratory holiday and by being tight we will cast a shadow over the happy planning stage (we are not rich AT ALL but a bit more financially secure than my friend's or her BIL's family)

AIBU in thinking that I should be paying less for the villa rental.

Honestly if you can take the hit just do. Life’s too short. See it as being a generous friend. Enjoy your holiday.

It should be split by bedrooms, surely. 5 bedrooms total, so $600 per bedroom per week?

For context, friend, her DH and I have known each other forever, I'm close with her family too as we were neighbours and grew up together, but working in different continents as adults. We kept in touch, active whatsapp group etc. This is the first time we are planning a group holiday abroad, mostly because friend is now in a position to afford them. Now we are in our 40s.

Split by bedroom, or by person, surely?

Split per room

At the very least the friend's BIL adult child would pay their share?

As the children in this are almost adult age, or actual adult age, then I'd say they should be treated as such in the costs. So split the overall costs by room.

This is my opinion too. I don't know why I am expected to subsidize for the other two families, without even a request or a discussion about it. Just a tone deaf whatsapp group message to split it threeway.

I want to say something but DH is stopping me, saying not to bring it up and make things awkward as "an extra few hundred dollars would not bankrupt us". but something about it doesn't feel right.

Yeah it seems unfair

That's an easy split per bedroom imo.
Or if you could afford to throw a bit extra in there, that would be good, but the expectation of a 3 family split is quite unfair

YABU. In a villa you use more than just the bedroom! You'll be getting just as much use out of the pool/living area/kitchen/garden/being in the destination etc.

Exactly what my husband says this too but then he's a people pleaser

Is the adult child working or student? To be honest I wouldn’t split by room and £1000 for a weeks holiday is good value. I’d make sure the paying adults have the best rooms but I would agree a 3 way split (assuming you can afford it).

How about 750 for you and then 1125 for the others? This subsidises a little. Also if you are organising and paying more for your room make sure that includes first pick of the bedrooms.

on another note who invited your best friends brother in law, or are they also a friend?

Will you be splitting every meal/drinks bill/ shopping bill like this?!!

She's a CF.

I think it should be split equally between the 7 adults.

For me it would depend. If the kids/bil weren't going, would you have booked a smaller, cheaper villa? If yes, really your friend should pay extra. If it was always going to be this villa, then I would lean toward no. But I would expect your friend to get more food and drink in, as well as making sure there's not too much mess in communal areas from her kids.

Well, if you don't want to divide by 5, and make each family pay for each of the bedrooms, you visit divide by 4, and the 4th share is divided between the other 2 families. That way you contribute a bit more in recognition that a bigger house is not THAT much more than the smaller house.

I think by room sounds fairest but how will that work if some rooms are better than others, en-suite for example or one room is a small box room.

If you can afford the extra then go with the 3 way split but stipulate that you get first choice of the bedrooms.

Divide by 7.

For family and and close friends I would just split it 3 ways. It all balances out with decent people imo. I couldn’t imagine complaining about this. It’s like wanting a £30 discount for a smaller room.

Split the cost by over adult and offspring

so 6 adults equals 2 points each adult
3 off spring equals 1 point each off spring

each point is equal to £200

so

Bedroom 1 - DH & I. £800
Bedroom 2 - Best Friend and her DH £800
Bedroom 3 - Friend's teenaged kids (2) £400
Bedroom 4 - Friend's BIL & his DP £800
Bedroom 5 - Friend's BIL's adult child £200

Are utilities included , or are you going to pay for their air conditioning, cooking, hairdryer etc etc as well?

What about food bills? Are you going to subsidise their breakfast, coffee, poolside snacks etc?

Sort this out more equitably before you go,,or you will end up with a landmark of resentment.

That seems reasonable for a large villa in a sought after location....can I ask what the celebration is and how close you are to friends BIL in his child?
Because if you are the driving force behind the trip to celebrate your landmark and have asked them to come then you should probably split three ways.
But if its friends landmark and they have invited you and their BIL family then I would be looking at per room/per person (even if students get a discount)

I'd pay the 1000 and would expect the best room