Help me do this pl - splitting holiday villa costs

[captainmarvella]

Morning. Planning a landmark event celebration next year in pool villa in a very sought after destination spot.

Bedroom 1 - DH & I
Bedroom 2 - Best Friend and her DH
Bedroom 3 - Friend's teenaged kids (2)
Bedroom 4 - Friend's BIL & his DP
Bedroom 5 - Friend's BIL's adult child

Villa rental is 3000$ / week. Friend has suggested that each family pays 1000$.

I feel grumpy that the split is a threeway when my DH and I will use only one bedroom. But DH says not to make a fuss as it is a long awaited celebratory holiday and by being tight we will cast a shadow over the happy planning stage (we are not rich AT ALL but a bit more financially secure than my friend's or her BIL's family)

AIBU in thinking that I should be paying less for the villa rental.

But that works for everyone though. So according to your idea, the total cost should be split equally between every person. £3000 / 9 = £333 per person. So OP pays £666 for her and DH.

forgot to quote! this is reply to

Poppyblush
Can you get the master bedroom then, as you’re paying more than your share?

great tip, thanks for this, i will make a note to propose a common kitty. the holiday is almost a year away, so we have plenty of time to figure out things

I don't want to pull out, I have waited a long time for this holiday with my childhood friend.

My god I hope my friend won't be a CF! Can't just bear the thought of her asking to split the bill 3 way for 9 eaters! That will sour my holiday tbh

I think you should read this back.

I was going to say I'd split 3 ways before this update but this is also important info as to why they were invited.

I agree with your DH. Sometimes being a people pleaser is a good thing, it means you get along with people and have nice times.

This is reply to

PerspiringElizabeth
Honestly if you can take the hit just do. Life’s too short. See it as being a generous friend. Enjoy your holiday.

How do I start that conversation lol.

hi WhatsApp group for holiday

id like to suggest a way of splitting the costs for the 9 of us going away, as the group numbers are uneven, here is my suggestion. Then put your suggestion from any above. Also why don’t we do the same for eating out, frocery shopping and fuel - that means everyone knows upfront the cost and it’s divided fairly. Hopefully this helps everyone

its not as if those bringing off spring are going to say no let’s jyst split everything 3 ways so are kids are supplemented by you the entire holiday

we Usually split by bedroom. Ordinarily I’d say you guys pay more if you can afford or are in a better position financially, however if you split all costs 3 ways that’s not fair, so I’d want to check they are planning to split other costs more fairly?

Split by room. Then meals out are paid for by each family, meals at home I would split by a third

I wouldn't include the teenage kids but I would expect each adult or adult couple that gets their own room to pay equally so I would divide the 3000 by 4 (that's if BIL's adult child is working etc)

I think this is what my DH means by not making things awkward. He fears if I object vocally to the 3 way split, it will make us appear heartless.

I am very sorry for BIL's DP of course. Does this mean I should pay extra 400$ for this holiday. Where does this stop then? Are we all going to subsidise their food bills also for the week? I think I'm more bothered about the request itself, that we pay 1k $ each for the villa, without private conversation about it.

If you're booking, you'll get the check-in info and you send a message before arrival allocating rooms.

OP is not responsible for a BIL she doesn’t even know 🙄

No, being a people pleased is never a good thing.

OP, your ‘friend’ is using you to subsidise what is essentially their family holiday.

This is your friend so you are perfectly entitled to tell DH that you don’t want to split 3 ways. If it were his friend then he would have more of a say.

Message your friend separately and say you won’t be able to afford to pay for rooms for he family, and the villa cost should be split by bedroom.

My god I hope my friend won't be a CF! Can't just bear the thought of her asking to split the bill 3 way for 9 eaters! That will sour my holiday tbh

so communicate now that you want to divide everything equally, otherwise it’ll not only sour your holiday but your friendship and the run up to the holiday

This is a good way to word it.

That is what she is relying you on, trying to guilt trip you into it.

Don’t fall for it, it will sour the holiday for you anyway.

We are going abroad for daughter’s wedding and villa costs have been split per person including teenage children. It’s a second wedding so majority of wedding costs met by bride and groom.

I get why you feel 3vway split is unfair, but I don't think a per room split is fair either. Because now a big en suite room costs the same as a small room that has to share a bathroom. So if it was them posting on MN, 'we're going on a holiday and friends wants us to pay for our room and then they same amount for our kids that have to use a communal bathroom'
Like I kind of get their point too. If this was a hotel, you wouldn't pay the same for an en suite than a smaller room and kids normally pay less

This seems to be the recurring issue with splitting villas. I’d iron out if it’s just this expected to be a three way split or is everything in the holiday then expected to be split three ways also?

If so then buying in food/ drinks/ meals out/ taxis/ transport is going to end up WAY more expensive if everything is assumed to be also split three ways.

Rather than simply you taking a couple of hundred hit on a room you could be well out of pocket subsiding everything for essentially two families?

Villa shares are always split per room. Also will you be covering the food consumption of the kids. Parents should not be expecting you to cover their kids holiday. Also if you don't set expectations now you will be covering food bills for kids. It will be a merry " oh we split this 3 ways?" At every meal. My blood would boil. I would find it all really tense.

Had a chat with DH just now about this and he nonchalantly says, "Of course at some point or other we would be subsidising their costs. I knew this would happen when you said the BIL's family is also coming along."

!!!

Ok.. I see what you mean. But still my friend and her BIL each get two rooms for 1000$. I get only one room for the same! I don't mind sleeping in a separate bedroom 😏 away from DH's snoring

Thank you, looks like there's a huge chance this will happen. I now have to have a chat with my friend privately don't I 😒

My friends and I often go away and share a big house. Not everyone has kids or partners (me being one) and we tend to split it by adult.

My question is - if the BILs family wasn't coming would you get a smaller place and would it be cheaper? If not, I'd just do the 3 way split but make sure it's for accommodation only not anything else like food / transport.

Bedroom 1 - DH & I
Bedroom 2 - Best Friend and her DH
Bedroom 3 - Friend's teenaged kids (2)
Bedroom 4 - Friend's BIL & his DP
Bedroom 5 - Friend's BIL's adult child

Ok, I think you should split the bill 9 ways, then charge 75% of that per dependent (£250 rounded) to account for no bathroom, and 125% (£400 rounded) for the adults. That gives £800 for you and DH, £1300 for your Best friend's family, and £1050 for BIL's family. That means you have £150 kitty for villa snacks.