Help me do this pl - splitting holiday villa costs

[captainmarvella]

Morning. Planning a landmark event celebration next year in pool villa in a very sought after destination spot.

Bedroom 1 - DH & I
Bedroom 2 - Best Friend and her DH
Bedroom 3 - Friend's teenaged kids (2)
Bedroom 4 - Friend's BIL & his DP
Bedroom 5 - Friend's BIL's adult child

Villa rental is 3000$ / week. Friend has suggested that each family pays 1000$.

I feel grumpy that the split is a threeway when my DH and I will use only one bedroom. But DH says not to make a fuss as it is a long awaited celebratory holiday and by being tight we will cast a shadow over the happy planning stage (we are not rich AT ALL but a bit more financially secure than my friend's or her BIL's family)

AIBU in thinking that I should be paying less for the villa rental.

Hummm....so this is a best friend who lives on another continent and your trying to arrange this holiday by whatsapp?. How well do you know friends BIL?.
I would have major reservations on this - especially as your only just arranging the villa and youve been jumped on to split 3 ways. What about food, I expect that will come with a 3 way split to. Honestly, id pull out.

We always split by number of people regardless of ages and rooms etc as everyone benefits from the living spaces, pool etc. I'm not sure I would fall out about it for a long awaited holiday and I could afford it though. But you could just suggest the split based on per head.

Can you get the master bedroom then, as you’re paying more than your share?

You also need to think about the logistics once you get there ... cost of food, who cooks? What happens if you go out to eat? How is the bill split?
These sort of holidays need a lot of planning and goodwill, do you want to be sat there with a calculator the whole time?

sorry I forgot to include adult child's age, just turned 19. Not working.

Friend is organising the entire thing. Friend's idea to bring the BIL, as his DP's lost both parents to covid and been in depression

Well they are defo getting the bargain holiday arent they. You need to sort out all the holiday logistics before you go. Food, excursions, car hire?...... or you'll end up paying WAY more than your fair share.

the adults rooms all have en suite
the kids rooms don't, they have to use the common bathroom in the living space

Realised I have described friend's BIL's adult child as a kid too! Have seen them grow from baby to adult

If your staying in a villa you’ll probably eat out

when the bill arrives will it also be expected jyst to split it 3 ways?

if you suggest now you split things more equally and have a kitty for eating out and shopping, whereby the purse is filled or someone holds the money in a bank account and everyone transfers in

Bedroom 1 - DH & I. £100
Bedroom 2 - Best Friend and her DH £100
Bedroom 3 - Friend's teenaged kids (2)£50
Bedroom 4 - Friend's BIL & his DP £100
Bedroom 5 - Friend's BIL's adult chil £25

£375 or of course double it to start with and use this money to pay for meals out, shopping for provisions

suggest you do this before travelling as then meals out can be paid for easily without resentment or hassle after each meal. 3 extra mouths being fed for free each time is going to grate

I think it’s fine to split the villa costs this way but you don’t want to be splitting meals and other costs 3 ways too, particularly as the children are older / adults. I’d accept the villa split but set something out now about other costs during the holiday.

It's an all incl villa rental, except for food and petrol costs. We plan to eat out as the area has great dining options, some of them right down the road.

Who gets the master bedroom? If it's you and DH I would chip in more but also expect a certain payment for the kids rooms.

We normally split per person with parents paying for non-earning DC. DC’s meals are 1/2 an adult before they’re teenagers.
I’d definitely split per person and have the food and excursions conversation now.

I would say you have one bedroom out of five - you should pay 1/5. It’s not upto you to subsidise their children. Wherever they went on a normal holiday, say a package holiday or villa, they would have to pay for their own bedroom and at least one more for DC. They couldn’t stay in a villa for two, when there’s three or four in the family? Ditto hotels.

A compromise would be to split by person but charge half for each non working child.

I’d point out that as your subsidising the kids to an extent, you are paying more that is technically fair so you’ll have the biggest/master bedroom and call it even.

make sure that they don’t approach the restaurant bills in the same manner

Or split in thirds and the families buy an extra meal out each. Or put a bit extra into the food kitty.

Not very close to friend's BIL but friendly enough. Quite fond of his kid whenever I dropped in at their place over the years (they all live as a joint family, we are not in UK)

The landmark event is not mine. My husband and I have allocated 500$ as gift for the person who is celebrating the event. The amount is because it is cultural / customary to give gold for this event.

(sorry I can't mention specifics, I don't want this to be too outing)

I would book into a nearby hotel. When was the last time you spent overnights with the entire family??? You and your H will be totally outnumbered.

nearby hotel and dip in and out as you please, also somewhere to escape to.

Sets a precedence for your holiday OP. What if the restaurant bill comes at the end of your first meal and your friend says 'let's split three ways'. You will subsidise every turn if you aren't careful. I would just say something back in the WhatsApp group 'Thank you so much for organising friend. Whilst we are happy to put a little more in the pot for families using two bedrooms, as we are only using one bedroom, surely we shouldn't pay a straight third? How about we pay £800 and you each pay £1100'.

well, aren't most trips at least the initial planning stage dealt on email and whatsapp, when the travelers live in different countries? I know these people very well, they are my childhood friends. Except for the BIL's family

Yanbu at all

Cost should be split per-head with the teenagers counting as 0.5 so you and DH are 2 heads, friend is 3 heads (2+0.5+0.5) and Friend's BIL is 3 heads (2+1)

You are quite right that you should pay less, but per room isn't fair either. A family using two bedrooms aren't actually getting double the value that you are. Per head like this makes for a reasonable compromise.

I think the general principle of kids not paying is fine. I'd suck up the cost of the villa but make it clear that food and other costs will be split proportionately.

I go away with my sister (who has more kids than me) and my parents and we always just split accommodation costs three ways but pay food costs proportionate to number of mouths.

I would like to, definitely. But I don't know how to make it happen! How do I start that conversation lol. Trip is next year