Help me do this pl - splitting holiday villa costs

[captainmarvella]

Morning. Planning a landmark event celebration next year in pool villa in a very sought after destination spot.

Bedroom 1 - DH & I
Bedroom 2 - Best Friend and her DH
Bedroom 3 - Friend's teenaged kids (2)
Bedroom 4 - Friend's BIL & his DP
Bedroom 5 - Friend's BIL's adult child

Villa rental is 3000$ / week. Friend has suggested that each family pays 1000$.

I feel grumpy that the split is a threeway when my DH and I will use only one bedroom. But DH says not to make a fuss as it is a long awaited celebratory holiday and by being tight we will cast a shadow over the happy planning stage (we are not rich AT ALL but a bit more financially secure than my friend's or her BIL's family)

AIBU in thinking that I should be paying less for the villa rental.

I would perhaps suck up the three way split of villa costs - but make it clear at the same time that this is a concession.

And that you expect food shopping and meals put etc to be split according to family group size, so Friend pays for 4/9ths, BIL pays for 3/9ths and you pay for 2/9ths. Alcoholic drinks paid for by the number of people imbibing (teens may not but adult DC may, for example).

And same for any outings etc - each family group pays for their own costs.

I'm thinking also that a night or two away in a swanky hotel for the adults only (minus kids and 19yr old) with a celebration dinner, everyone has their own room, etc. would be the dream way to mark this occasion. Easy to split costs per couple, and the privacy of your own space.

There is no way I would share a villa/cottage/house etc. with anyone other than my own little family unit. Nope.

Although BiL’s 19 yo child should count as an adult!! - of course! That is part of the formula - everyone able to vote is counted as an adult.

Agree with @ladeluge, esp re the family unit aspect when you're basically now joining and subsidising their family holiday.

@ladeluge completely agree, absolutely no interest in sharing space with anyone else's children particularly not teens.

We went away a few years ago and took individual lodges for 4 families for a weekend.
All completely separate and was as close as I would be up for.

A decade ago my friend went with 2 other families to a fabulous large villa.
The families were great friends and the children got on very well.

They survived it, but she said that some of the kids 19-23 were never out of the kitchen and never stopped snacking, and never tidied up after themselves.

They left a mess everywhere they went, wet clothes and towels everywhere.
They were noisy and a bit inconsiderate as they drank late etc and meal times were challenging with lots of different requirements.

She is a tremendous cook so felt like she was handed the food co ordinator role without any consultation.
She didn't stay silent, but she wanted to remain friends and being diplomatic took a lot out of her.

She ended thinking it was a very expensive holiday for a bit of a frat house experience.

What she thought would be great fun ended up being exhausting.

They wanted to do it again but she declined.

They have done the individual family cottages thing though since successfully.

Glad to see others agree with me and that I am not an antisocial bore!

Except not all the rooms will be the same level of niceness so I would maybe ask to have choice of room?

Sorry cross posted. Do this!

How was the holiday if you've been on it already. Hope it went well

In a very similar situation and we split by room. Parents covering cost of young adult children. I think that's fair. Why should non-parents subsidise families with children? I'm the parent of the adult children btw!

Is it 3 families? You, Best Friend and Friend? Anyway - either way, split by bedroom. $3000/5 is $600 and you pay $600 for every bedroom you use.