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Original poster

DH said I’m in the worst shape I’ve ever been

217 replies

Amiinthewrongg · 31/07/2023 23:20

I’ve started working out today and have been in my workout stuff. So obviously more skin on show. He looked at my belly and started giggling and I said what’s so funny. I had to beg him to get the truth out and he says your probably in the worst shape you’ve ever been in.

The thing is he is absolutely right so I can’t be mad at him but it hurts so bad.

I’ve had 3 kids 3 c-sections and I work an office job where I barely move all day. I’m not a big eater will only eat my dinner and a chocolate bar and a cup of tea throughout the day. But I get no exercise.

Feel like I can’t be mad at him but my heart feels broken as pathetic as it sounds.

OP posts:
TimeForTeaAndG · 31/07/2023 23:22

He's a dick. I assume he's the tip top of peak physical perfection?

Well done on getting started.

BrianBettyGrable · 31/07/2023 23:22

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Spudsanyway · 31/07/2023 23:23

Arsehole! Sending virtual support.

EasyCosUrBeautiful · 31/07/2023 23:24

3 c-sections and he’s giggling.

Is he usually like this? I’d have a word with him. It’s not on.

Cherryana · 31/07/2023 23:24

And tell me about his fit, unaged body?

If he has a dad-bod and hasn’t had three children grow inside him - do not listen to him.

Exercise and eat well, drink water because it makes you feel better not because he has said a mean comment.

Original poster
Amiinthewrongg · 31/07/2023 23:24

He has apologised he feels bad. He has a very active job always on the go so easy for him to keep the weight down.

It just upsetting knowing that’s the way he sees me.

OP posts:
JennyEag · 31/07/2023 23:25

My heart sank reading this, I’d feel exactly the same. I’d try and focus on the positives in yourself. You carried and care for your children which in itself is a massive achievement and you’re still making the effort to care for your body by working out! Don’t let this dishearten you with that, keep going. Perhaps it would be worth letting him know how hurtful that comment was. Not nice at all

thefirstmrsrochester · 31/07/2023 23:27

He can shove his apologies up his perfectly toned arse OP.

He ‘giggled’ at you in your workout gear?

He doesn’t sound like a caring partner at all.

anothertrainwreck · 31/07/2023 23:28

I honestly think even if I got a sincere, heartfelt apology and some serious throw-himself-on-the-floor grovelling I would really struggle to get past this. Some things are genuinely just better kept inside, and he should be a grown-up and realise how hurtful that is. What a dick. I’m sorry OP, take care

Merryoldgoat · 31/07/2023 23:28

I could never imagine saying something like that to someone I love. I don’t get it.

JenniferBooth · 31/07/2023 23:29

He will be on the Relationships board in a couple of years wondering why his wife cant bring herself to have sex with him.

BlairWaldorfOG · 31/07/2023 23:30

What a cunt. This would ruin me too, my self esteem would be awful and if my husband giggled at me trying to make changes I would really struggle to get past that. Sorry he's acted so badly, I hope you can continue making positive change for you and focus on the reasons you were working out as opposed to his dog shit attitude.

Original poster
Amiinthewrongg · 31/07/2023 23:31

It’s hard because we banter each other a lot. But he really looked me in my eyes dead serious and just said it.

OP posts:
Theblacksheepandme · 31/07/2023 23:31

Amiinthewrongg · 31/07/2023 23:24

He has apologised he feels bad. He has a very active job always on the go so easy for him to keep the weight down.

It just upsetting knowing that’s the way he sees me.

His apology really isn't good enough OP. He was being nasty. Has he ever said stuff like this before to put you down?

JenniferBooth · 31/07/2023 23:32

And im sure he will back up his nasty comments by doing more parenting so you have more time to yourself OP Right? RIGHT?

Original poster
Amiinthewrongg · 31/07/2023 23:34

Sometimes I go to hug him and kiss him and he will push me away. Now I’m wondering if he thinks I’m ugly?

OP posts:
UnRavellingFast · 31/07/2023 23:34

Ask him if his middle aged droop is playing with his head. Look him dead in the eye as you say it. Then later apologise! That’ll make it fine you see.

Theblacksheepandme · 31/07/2023 23:34

Fucking banter.

CherrySocks · 31/07/2023 23:35

Pushing you away is horrible

purpleboy · 31/07/2023 23:36

anothertrainwreck · 31/07/2023 23:28

I honestly think even if I got a sincere, heartfelt apology and some serious throw-himself-on-the-floor grovelling I would really struggle to get past this. Some things are genuinely just better kept inside, and he should be a grown-up and realise how hurtful that is. What a dick. I’m sorry OP, take care

I think I'd rather he told me than secretly thought it TBH.
I wouldn't want to be with someone who had those kind of thoughts about my body after birthing 3 children.
What a prick, sorry op.

Begsthequestion · 31/07/2023 23:36

You can be mad at him. He said something deliberately hurtful - the fact that you're trying to get fitter means he knows it's something that bothers you. And you've grown three babies with that body, so he should show it - and you - some real respect.

I wonder what motivated him to be cruel in that moment. Is he insecure about you getting back into shape for any reason?

UnRavellingFast · 31/07/2023 23:36

Amiinthewrongg · 31/07/2023 23:34

Sometimes I go to hug him and kiss him and he will push me away. Now I’m wondering if he thinks I’m ugly?

No you’re not the problem and you know that. You don’t need reassurance from a thread. You need to tell him his meanness and lack of brains has put you off him sexually. Then say - just kidding! play with his tiny mind as though you were a man shitting on his life partner. You may find it fun!

MixedTocopherols · 31/07/2023 23:36

He sounds really unkind Flowers

NoSquirrels · 31/07/2023 23:37

Feel like I can’t be mad at him but my heart feels broken as pathetic as it sounds.

Not only can you be mad at him you fucking well SHOULD be!

He’s the pathetic one.

Did he never get the memo on how to be a halfway decent human being?

I’m mad for you. I bet you’re beautiful. Fuck his judgement.

UnRavellingFast · 31/07/2023 23:38

Begsthequestion · 31/07/2023 23:36

You can be mad at him. He said something deliberately hurtful - the fact that you're trying to get fitter means he knows it's something that bothers you. And you've grown three babies with that body, so he should show it - and you - some real respect.

I wonder what motivated him to be cruel in that moment. Is he insecure about you getting back into shape for any reason?

Aha! This is it- you’ve hit the nail on the head.