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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DH said I’m in the worst shape I’ve ever been

217 replies

Amiinthewrongg · 31/07/2023 23:20

I’ve started working out today and have been in my workout stuff. So obviously more skin on show. He looked at my belly and started giggling and I said what’s so funny. I had to beg him to get the truth out and he says your probably in the worst shape you’ve ever been in.

The thing is he is absolutely right so I can’t be mad at him but it hurts so bad.

I’ve had 3 kids 3 c-sections and I work an office job where I barely move all day. I’m not a big eater will only eat my dinner and a chocolate bar and a cup of tea throughout the day. But I get no exercise.

Feel like I can’t be mad at him but my heart feels broken as pathetic as it sounds.

OP posts:
determinedtomakethiswork · 31/07/2023 23:56

He'll be happy spending an hour or two every evening with the children, while you go and get yourself fit, then, won't he?

DancingFerret · 31/07/2023 23:56

What a shallow b***d!

Trees6 · 31/07/2023 23:56

When you posted to say that he had apologised I thought that it was going to be ok, that he’d recognised his error.

Then, however, you told us that he’d pushed you away before. Then it transpired that he thought it was better than calling you fat. After three csections!! Wow. This isn’t ok.

Shodan · 31/07/2023 23:57

I can only echo virtually everyone else (apart from the 'Try to take it motivationally' crap).

Your H is a wanker.

Rude, nasty, arrogant twatty behaviour. I'm outraged on your behalf.

LuluBlakey1 · 31/07/2023 23:59

Punch him in the nose from me. He's a shit.

Shodan · 01/08/2023 00:00

Actually I think you should hand over the reins of childcare every evening to go and 'improve' yourself. You could go to the gym if you wanted- or the cinema, or the theatre, or whatever floats your boat.

Brush off any complaints from the wanker by saying that you gave up a lot more than a bit of time to nurture your three children, and now it's his turn.

ThatFraggle · 01/08/2023 00:01

Ah, you've got yourself a knob head for a partner.

QueefQueen80s · 01/08/2023 00:02

My ex once drunkenly said the reason he looked at skinny porn was because I was the first woman he'd been with with an overhang. Still remember it despite it being 15 years ago and he never criticised since and infact very complimentary and genuinely always turned on by me. Loved me being curvy.
Then I had sections and I really did have an overhang! And he still loved it.
BUT those comments stick forever.

If any man is reading this, NEVER make your woman insecure because that shit cuts her her whole life and pops into her head at 3am 15 years later and put her off sex in the present day..

Jennybeans401 · 01/08/2023 00:03

He sounds vile. If he really wants you to get fit and feel better he should offer to do all the childcare. Telling you to put yourself first would be the easiest way for you to instantly feel better.

What an arsehole

Clymene · 01/08/2023 00:03

If I weren't someone that was determinedly anti violence, I'd get three lumps of concrete the weight of each of your babies and lob them at him.

QueefQueen80s · 01/08/2023 00:03

Plus he had an overhang himself and was overweight! God I hate men.

Blondewithredlips · 01/08/2023 00:05

Is he a sex god or a middle aged toad?

Amiinthewrongg · 01/08/2023 00:05

Every time I’ve gone to book a consultation for a tummy tuck he’s talked me out of it because it’s a “waste of money” I’m going to rebook it and go for it now!!!

OP posts:
Mirabai · 01/08/2023 00:08

Amiinthewrongg · 01/08/2023 00:05

Every time I’ve gone to book a consultation for a tummy tuck he’s talked me out of it because it’s a “waste of money” I’m going to rebook it and go for it now!!!

Please don’t mutilate yourself on the basis of a crass comment.

If you want to get in shape there’s so much that can be done without resorting to surgery.

Aquamarine1029 · 01/08/2023 00:09

Fuck getting a tummy tuck, FFS, op. Why on earth would you do that? For him??

Have him read this thread and then go see a solicitor. This marriage is doomed.

Garman · 01/08/2023 00:12

And how many major abdominal surgeries and pregnancies has Mr. Perfect had in the last few years, while also raising the babies you birthed and working? The nerve of him.

AppleDumplingWithCustard · 01/08/2023 00:14

I trust that when he takes his pants off tonight he will understand if you fall about laughing at the size of his ugly, undersized dick.

Chickenkeev · 01/08/2023 00:15

Mirabai · 01/08/2023 00:08

Please don’t mutilate yourself on the basis of a crass comment.

If you want to get in shape there’s so much that can be done without resorting to surgery.

This. Do not contemplate surgery over this wankstain. You are worth so much more. Let him off to find whatever vision of perfection he wants, he'll no doubt be a long time looking.

BusyCaz · 01/08/2023 00:16

Fuck sakes he is a prick! I am having a tummy tuck in August FOR ME. My husband is supportive but he makes me feel loved for as I am now. Never ever get surgery because someone else has made you feel shit.

BusyCaz · 01/08/2023 00:18

Amiinthewrongg · 01/08/2023 00:05

Every time I’ve gone to book a consultation for a tummy tuck he’s talked me out of it because it’s a “waste of money” I’m going to rebook it and go for it now!!!

Use the money for a divorce and put the rest in savings. Major surgery should not be done because a twat makes you feel shit.

ASimpleLampoon · 01/08/2023 00:22

I suggest you spend more of your free time on self care and exercise and leave house and kids stuff for him to do.

Also cease anything you do for him and spend teatime on non exercise self care too.

Nogg · 01/08/2023 00:26

So much drama from mums net as usual.
It is a bit hurtful but people sometimes say hurtful things.
Unless he is horrid in other ways and has form for putting you down being abusive I would move on with your life.

porridgeisbae · 01/08/2023 00:29

You can get mad at him @Amiinthewrongg , that's really rude, to the point of being kind of abusive.

I like to think he wouldn't even laugh at a stranger's figure to their faces, but he's doing it to his wife who he's supposed to take care of.

There was no point in his comment anyway- he can't claim it's to try and help you improve, as you're already working on improving yourself.

Someoneonlyyouknow · 01/08/2023 00:33

Maybe have a discussion with him whether spending money on a tummy tuck or penis enlargement would be most worthwhile?

Seriously, don't have surgery over this. Workout if you want to. Maybe find some fun classes to go to. Perhaps DH could be responsible for concocting some delicious healthy meals while you are out. Switch the chocolate bar for fruit and a walk at lunchtime, again if you want to. Remember, the quickest way to lose unnecessary weight is divorce!

fluffiphlox · 01/08/2023 00:34

Who is this Adonis to whom you’ve shackled yourself? Tell him to bog off.

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