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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

New friend - odd?

183 replies

BeelziBob · 31/07/2023 16:50

I recently made friends with a woman and I’m starting to think she’s a bit off but maybe I’m being judgemental??

Anyway we arranged to go for a walk yesterday morning in the park and then go for a coffee. Half hour before we were due to meet its pissing it down so I assumed the walk was off … I messaged her and put “have you seen the weather? What do you want to do?” And she replied with “park? It might stop soon and I don’t mind the rain”. Ok, neither do I but it was really coming down.

So anyway I set off, arrived in car park and it’s now torrential rain, really hammering off the car. I messaged her from my car to ask if she was there yet and she replied saying she was sat on a bench and she’ll walk up??!! I couldn’t even see out of my car window!! So I put my rain coat off and went to meet her. She walked up absolutely wet through, no coat on, rain literally streaming down her face, sandals on. We walked for a bit and then she said we should sit and have a coffee … great … expect she meant get a coffee from a kiosk and sit on a bench!!? I said I didn’t think that was a good idea due to the torrential rain we were currently stood in. We carried on walking for a bit, she fell over, finally got back into my car absolutely soaked and she is stood next to my window wanting to chat!! I told her to get in the car!

isn’t all this a bit weird or am I just a wimp with the rain?

OP posts:
ImGoingThroughChanges · 31/07/2023 16:52

It was a bit weird that you didn’t say “you might like rain but this is not my idea of fun - do you prefer an indoor coffee shop or to leave it for another day?”

GalileoHumpkins · 31/07/2023 16:55

Is she a secret amphibian?
The whole thing sounds odd but I would have cancelled rather than asking her what she wanted to do.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 31/07/2023 16:55

You're a wimp with the rain, no one will melt if they get rained on.

tuvamoodyson · 31/07/2023 16:55

i wouldn’t have asked her what she wanted to do, I’d have said due to the rain, I’ll leave it today….

FromAustin · 31/07/2023 16:56

Do you know if she has other friends or family? I would think she’s possibly really desperate for company.

Or maybe she’s read about what munsnetters post about ‘flaky friends’ so is taking it to extremes and will not even cancel in very bad weather. 😂

I think you should have just insisted that it was postponed or that you went somewhere indoors.

Original poster
BeelziBob · 31/07/2023 16:58

I actually really don’t mind walking in rain but sitting on benches, drinking coffee in it, stood chatting in it … ?!

OP posts:
ibblebibbledibble · 31/07/2023 16:58

I find it weirder that you just blindly went along with it all 🤣

Ohhelpicantthinkofaname · 31/07/2023 17:00

I would have just suggested meeting at a coffee shop or something. I don’t mind a bit of drizzle when I’m waking but that sounds terrible.

coxesorangepippin · 31/07/2023 17:01

She sounds mad

Or really likes rain

Ace56 · 31/07/2023 17:02

Yes, I would’ve texted saying ‘meet at X coffee shop instead due to the weather?’ Rather than asking if she still wanted to go.

Letitgonowgr · 31/07/2023 17:02

Yeah really weird! I’d have definitely cancelled.

Dreamersdontdie · 31/07/2023 17:09

Could she not have had enough money for a coffee shop coffee or have paranoia about being indoors?

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 31/07/2023 17:11

BeelziBob · 31/07/2023 16:58

I actually really don’t mind walking in rain but sitting on benches, drinking coffee in it, stood chatting in it … ?!

Well,there's only so wet you can get so if you're already wet you might as well just get on with it 😂

ManateeFair · 31/07/2023 17:12

I mean, yeah, it's a bit unusual certainly. Harmless though - next time, if you don't want to be out in the rain, just say you're not keen on getting drenched and suggest you meet at a cafe instead.

I think if I was friendly enough with someone to meet up for a walk and a chat, I'd be comfortable with them to have a laugh with them about it all, too. Pretty sure if I met up with a friend and I was wearing sandals and no rain jacket in torrential rain they'd say 'Haha, are you nuts or am I a wimp? I'm worried you'll drown' and we'd have a joke about it. At the very least, I think 'Do you not feel gross being drenched through like that? I couldn't bear being in soaking wet clothes' would have been a pretty normal and inoffensive question to ask her and I can't imagine she'd have minded you asking!

WhateverMate · 31/07/2023 17:15

BeelziBob · 31/07/2023 16:58

I actually really don’t mind walking in rain but sitting on benches, drinking coffee in it, stood chatting in it … ?!

That's weird I agree.

But it's weirder that you went ahead and did it when you didn't want to, don't you think?

TulipCat · 31/07/2023 17:19

Why did you allow her to make all the decisions? I would have suggested a change of plan, as in "It's too wet for me I'm afraid, shall we meet at X coffee shop?"

Curseofthenation · 31/07/2023 17:20

I would have suggested soft play or coffee in a cafe rather than cracking on with the park plan. You're both a bit odd but people often are when they're figuring one another out! We all do odd or awkward things from time to time.

GalileoHumpkins · 31/07/2023 17:21

Curseofthenation · 31/07/2023 17:20

I would have suggested soft play or coffee in a cafe rather than cracking on with the park plan. You're both a bit odd but people often are when they're figuring one another out! We all do odd or awkward things from time to time.

Would two adults want to go to soft play on their own?

Muckysmucky · 31/07/2023 17:28

That is weird!
Im like you and don’t mind walking in the rain if I’ve got a coat on so would have carried on with the planned meet and walk once she suggested that but I’d have definitely been freaked out by her standing around non plussed in sandals and no jacket and suggesting you both sit outside in a downpour to have a coffee!
Did you say anything?

I wonder if she’s really desperate for company?

Give her a second chance maybe but I’d certainly be a bit on the lookout for other odd behaviour.

TeleTropes · 31/07/2023 17:31

Curseofthenation · 31/07/2023 17:20

I would have suggested soft play or coffee in a cafe rather than cracking on with the park plan. You're both a bit odd but people often are when they're figuring one another out! We all do odd or awkward things from time to time.

I think if the OP had suggested soft play for two adults then her friend would have been the one (rightly) making a MN post about her odd friend who rearranged a walk to soft play 😂

AvidBookAndCatCollector · 31/07/2023 17:33

She's a lizard person!

Original poster
BeelziBob · 31/07/2023 17:36

Curseofthenation · 31/07/2023 17:20

I would have suggested soft play or coffee in a cafe rather than cracking on with the park plan. You're both a bit odd but people often are when they're figuring one another out! We all do odd or awkward things from time to time.

Soft Play?

OP posts:
collectorsedition · 31/07/2023 17:44

Curseofthenation · 31/07/2023 17:20

I would have suggested soft play or coffee in a cafe rather than cracking on with the park plan. You're both a bit odd but people often are when they're figuring one another out! We all do odd or awkward things from time to time.

Soft play?!

Crunchiethatfridayfeeling · 31/07/2023 17:46

Some people really don't mind the rain but would wear a raincoat and dress accordingly.
It does seem odd but I would wait and see how it goes as a friendship, you may be best of friends in a couple of years and laugh about this.
Personally I wouldn't have gone along with it I'd have took charge and said I was happy to still meet but we'll have to bin the walk off for another day.

NightShiftDrama · 31/07/2023 17:48

Is she's Northerner and you're a Southerner??