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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think you dont accidentally text your ex this....

243 replies

MaxwellCat · 27/07/2023 22:01

My ex text me the other night "I love you" we haven't spoken in around 2 months or more and we've been split up for 6 years (though we have children so still in contact sometimes) everyone has told me it was obviously an "accident" aibu to think you dont "accidentally" text your ex of 6 years that you love them? How is that an accident? We haven't spoken in 2 months so I would imagine im pretty far down on his messages, also this was text message (he is blocked on whatsapp) and i imagine 99% of people communicate over WhatsApp especially if it was meant for someone he was dating! I know I don't even text anyone anymore but he was still far down from all the other texts I receive from random places. Why do people try to say this stuff is an accident when it clearly wasn't 🤔 aibu to think you dont accidentally text your ex you love them? (Fair enough if we was just speaking a few days ago but we haven't spoken in months)

OP posts:
UrsulaIsMyQueen · 28/07/2023 08:33

OP why are you so bothered about what a load of people who don’t know you, or him, think about the situation? You say you were looking for advice, but you’re upset/angry at the advice you were given, so it obviously hasn’t helped. The problem is, you can’t control the interpretation others have of something.
He doesn’t sound like a decent bloke. If I received a message like that from him, I’d think ‘you’ve got a fucking cheek messaging me like that when you don’t even bother with your own kids’. That’s not your reaction, though, so I think you need to figure out what outcome you’re hoping for and the decide what to do based on that.

neverbeenskiing · 28/07/2023 09:02

This is just getting embarrassing now.
You obviously want to be told that he's in love with you since you've dismissed or argued with every alternative explanation that PP's have offered. Fine OP, he's in love with you!! So now what?? Are you going to forget all about his lack of interest in spending time with his children, failure to pay regular maintenance and general shittiness and go running back to him because he's professed his love by text message? If not, then why are you obsessing about his motives, starting multiple threads about it, and getting annoyed with anyone who suggests this text message may not be a declaration of genuine heartfelt emotion?

I honestly think you would be better off examining your own feelings and thought processes around this, not his. Because if his intention in sending this message was to mess with your head it seems like he's been successful.

Hatsof · 28/07/2023 09:04

MaxwellCat · 27/07/2023 22:19

then he would be talking to them on WhatsApp as no one texts anymore 🤷🏻‍♀️

Show quote history

I do. I text my partner, never use WhatsApp for him as he doesn’t have it 🤷🏻‍♀️

StripeyDeckchair · 28/07/2023 09:37

Why are you giving him so much space in your mind & emotions?

Hes trying it on. Bet he's single & is hopeful for sex

Taylorswiftly23 · 28/07/2023 09:39

He loves you. Worships you. Adores you. Text him back and sail off into tbe sunset together.

Bapbap45 · 28/07/2023 09:58

You mentioned on your other thread that you were about to put a child maintenance report in but were now feeling bad about it. I'd hazard that this is his motive for texting, to put a stop to that. What a charmer.

Sometimeswinning · 28/07/2023 10:02

The people all saying they don't use WhatsApp 🙄 That is not the point of her post. Her ex uses WhatsApp usually so he wouldn't bother with text. Suprised at all the people who still do and their "large circle of friends"

I agree with most of the people on here that the op needs to stop posting about this but surely there comes a point where a person reads this and thinks people are just looking to stick the boot in.

mumda · 28/07/2023 10:21

"Who is this?"

dontknowwhatswrong · 28/07/2023 10:28

I would try and reply like oops think you've got the wrong person and then see what he has to say from that x

PatrickGammon · 28/07/2023 10:35

Just shit or get off the pot OP. This thread is 🥱🥱🥱

People are rude because you srent taking anything on board. People have asked you questions or made valid points and you've ignored them and keep bringing up text vs WhatsApp.

I think you're trolling tbh.

PatrickGammon · 28/07/2023 10:37

Oh and the other thread were drunk guy on stag went differently because the OP is open to opinions and took them on hard and resolved her own quandary by erm,messaging the guy in question. Not dragging out 6 pages of utter dribble about his choice of comms.

supercali77 · 28/07/2023 10:41

So this thread is mostly about being pissed off that everyone in a totally different thread thought it was an accident. 7 pages of you being arsey about it and arguing. If you don't like the answers, don't ask the questions

PatrickGammon · 28/07/2023 11:00

MaxwellCat · 28/07/2023 00:43

im just going to let him know he text the wrong person…..

This makes me think you wanted MN to collectively go

"Oh dont do that, it would be a terrible mistake, he is just using you for a shag"

Or

"Yes do, you need to get to the bottom of why he texted you. Clearly he must have feelings"

You whole OP screams you need attention. I'm out.

ManateeFair · 28/07/2023 11:59

MaxwellCat · 28/07/2023 00:08

well my ex DOES use WhatsApp so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Show quote history

But how you do know he doesn't also use texts for talking to other people? Maybe he's been seeing a woman who doesn't use WhatsApp - I have plenty of friends who don't. You split up with him six years ago, so it seems unlikely that you know every detail of what he does and how he uses his phone these days.

Ultimately, nobody but your ex knows if he texted you deliberately or by accident. My guess is that he was drunk or half-asleep and didn't really know what he was doing. But none of us can possibly know either way, you included.

Zanatdy · 28/07/2023 12:19

Maybe he did mean it, maybe he didn’t. You might not find out even if you reply as he will probably just say it was meant for someone else, even if it wasn’t. I do think you want it to be aimed for you, and why not hey, we all want to be loved. But sounds like this was over a long time ago and no benefit in going backwards

GiddyGladys · 28/07/2023 13:25

You sound consumed. Just ask him if you're that bothered.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 28/07/2023 16:36

As he's an ex( for a good reason)
why are you giving this so much headspace?
Just forget about it

Original poster
MaxwellCat · 28/07/2023 17:33

well I did text him last night saying he has texted the wrong number and his response was “what makes you think that?” So there you go, not an accident like I knew it wasn’t. Haven’t responded and don’t plan to.

OP posts:
UrsulaIsMyQueen · 28/07/2023 17:38

All this because you were annoyed that some
people you don’t know said it must have been an accident 🤯. Glad you’ve got the answer you want.

Original poster
MaxwellCat · 28/07/2023 17:40

Well that’s why I texted him I planned to ignore but people trying to convince me it was an “accident” 😏

OP posts:
UrsulaIsMyQueen · 28/07/2023 17:43

MaxwellCat · 28/07/2023 17:40

Well that’s why I texted him I planned to ignore but people trying to convince me it was an “accident” 😏

What you have to remember is that these people commenting don’t actually really care. They don’t know you, they don’t know him, and are just passing some time commenting on an online forum. They’re not trying to personally offend you, or even to convince you of anything.

supercali77 · 28/07/2023 17:43

Noone was trying to 'convince' you. They stated an opinion

BadNomad · 28/07/2023 17:43

Oh behave. You wanted to text him. You love the idea of him pinning for you. You sound like the thirsty-for-drama type.

MoustacheTwirler · 28/07/2023 17:44

MaxwellCat · 28/07/2023 17:33

well I did text him last night saying he has texted the wrong number and his response was “what makes you think that?” So there you go, not an accident like I knew it wasn’t. Haven’t responded and don’t plan to.

He is playing games with you. If he genuinely wanted to proclaim his feelings for you then he would have followed up his original message with more detail about his feelings, instead he is being cryptic and evasive with his response. This screams booty call to me. It's up to you what you do but personally I would ignore him.

TwinsPlusAnotherOne · 28/07/2023 17:44

Of course it wasn't an accident. It wasn't a declaration of love, which is what people were getting frustrated with you about. But it was deliberate, I presumed for attention, maybe he'd just been dumped and needed his ego massaged etc.

And now it's been revealed the timing coincides with you chasing proper child support, that's highly likely to be the motive.

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