Is there something wrong with how I look?

[GEC44]

Straight to the point - I've discovered a group of colleagues are talking about me behind my back and sending each other cartoon drawings of me, saying that I look like a man, look like a drag queen, and that my nickname is Funny Face.

I've been told by a beautician that I have strong features, and an 'image consultant' that I am 'striking'. Whatever that means.

Any thoughts?

Are you olive skinned / light brown or darker?

I am, and am regularly described as 'striking'....it's code for 'dark and therefore not as subjectively attractive to me as the Scandi blonde ideal'.

I think Barbra Streisand is beautiful. She's what I'd call striking too.

What your colleagues are doing is unacceptable bullying.

I cannot believe people are even asking about your features.

Your physical appearance is not the issue here, and quite frankly, matters not.

What matters is that these vile people feel that they have the right to comment on you in a negative manner. Who the hell do they thing they are?

It is bullying, they are being purposefully mean and unkind, and this kind of behaviour should always be called out.

I don't care if you look like Shrek, Marilyn Monroe or Donald Trump. No one has the right to ridicule your appearance.

It says a lot more about them as people than it does about you.

Fuckers. And their age does not come into consideration, unless they were 6. I would cut them some slack then, but they would still be part of a lengthy and direct conversation.

I would formally engage with HR and I would NOT let it drop.

Absolute bunch of twats. Am raging for you OP.

I would look for another job as you've also had size discrimination at work.

What sort of office do you work in and do they not have HR?

My thoughts are that your colleagues are absolute fuckwits. Don't let this go unchecked. Get the evidence - get them hauled over the coals. There's nothing wrong with you - there's a lot wrong with them.

No don't look for another job because of vile bullies. Please complain.

Absolutely complain about the bullying. Nobody should have to put up with it.

But the drag queen comment from a PP is kind of fair. It's not women's fault but drag is EVERYWHERE at the moment and some people probably now see more males in that particular style of makeup than they do women. It's no more offensive to point that out than it is for you to be derogatory about women with masculine features eg strong jaws, low brows, adams apples. Plenty of women have these naturally and some are very beautiful with it!

That doesn't mean you have to change your makeup if you love it though. We should all be free to present how we like. And it doesn't change that your colleagues behaviour is wrong.

Couldn't agree with you more. I work with a complete bitch and she is the most pass remarkable person I know. She makes comments on peoples appearance particularly women. Apparently she is trying to be helpful. She is such an unpleasant person and I don't think she is offering friendly advice whatsoever. I often say that if everyone just minded their own fucking business that we would live in a much more pleasant society. We should take people as they are and not how they look.

I wouldn't leave my job unless you want to and have something lined up. Toxic people shouldn't be allowed to do this. Leaving is just giving them what they want. Take this as high as possible in relation to complaining. Everything documented and no informal meetings.

Well no OP shouldn't leave until she found something else or not leave if she wants to stay.

I can't believe there is a company that would allow this behaviour and also does what OP put in her thread.

If someone did this in my company they would have a disciplinary for bullying.

other thread

Jeez they sound awful.

I've obviously never seen your face before but I can guarantee there is NOTHING wrong with you. Them on the hand...

Just had a look - goddess is the right word for her.

I love that she is so tall (6' 3" and all legs) and still wears heels - good for her. She's celebrating what nature has given her and she looks fabulous!

>Straight to the point - I've discovered a group of colleagues are talking about me behind my back

HOW did you find out?

That people associate heavy make up with drag isn't really the point.
The point is that someone thought it a reasonable and helpful response to a woman being called names for her appearance to suggest she may look a bit 'drag queen'...another derogatory description used about women's looks!
The poster probably thought they were being helpful, the same as those calling the colleagues 'generic looking' think they're being supportive.
Its just ironic when people use insulting descriptions of women's looks in support of a woman being insulted for her looks.

Posts like this really make me sad. You should not be questioning how you look as even if you look like the elephant man, adults should not be behaving like this. I bet they have posted #bekind all over their social media whilst behaving like bullies amongst their work mates, non of them hold the moral fibre to say ‘this is out of order’ and they clearly all feed off one another. Straight to Human Resources to report this. If they lose their jobs I would say they brought it on themselves. P.s they’re likely just jealous.

What @TeddyFluff said. Cunts…..

No.

This. Make those fuckers pay for their appalling behaviour.

No. There isn’t anything wrong with how you look. Fuck them.

OP, what have you decided to do?

I'm so sorry. I've been told I look like a man but by peers of mine so not the same.
I would write an email to HR. Believe me, the only people ugly here to their absolute souls are them.
I hope you are doing OK x

Ironically, they wouldn't say you look like a man unless it's clear that you're a woman.

Sounds like you have the sort of face that would look amazing with a pixie haircut and some funky glasses. Hugs to you

Very well said, my 15 year old would often say two wrongs don't make a right.