Is there something wrong with how I look?

[GEC44]

Straight to the point - I've discovered a group of colleagues are talking about me behind my back and sending each other cartoon drawings of me, saying that I look like a man, look like a drag queen, and that my nickname is Funny Face.

I've been told by a beautician that I have strong features, and an 'image consultant' that I am 'striking'. Whatever that means.

Any thoughts?

I'm a GC woman....
With a deep voice, striking features/ strong brow and tbh it all scares me.
I used to be accepted as a particular kind of look I guess, whereas now I feel questionable.
Just be confident, look in mirror and smile at yourself.

Of course it matters. Especially the style and application of it.

You have asked for opinions, over done or badly done make up will draw attention. It doesn't mean that what this group are doing is in any way acceptable, but that's not what your OP is asking

Your colleagues and their shitty behaviour needs addressing.
Every single human being in the world looks different and has stronger and weaker features. It’s no one’s business either.
Please don’t let some idiots being so rotten and immature make you feel rubbish.

Sending hugs 💐

There is nothing wrong with the way anyone looks . Get evidence and report these people. They obviously have issues .

Are you asking her if she’s a man who identifies as transgender? And saying that such a person is stigmatised for looking like a man?

No, and even if I was, it shouldn't matter.

@GEC44 Who told you what they were doing?

Quite right op!

Have you decided how you would like to proceed?

@GEC44 the first woman who comes to mind who I would describe as striking is Erin O'Connor. Who looks both very beautiful and also cool as fuck.

And I agree with everyone saying report to HR. Your colleagues need to be reminded they are adults at work and not in year 7.

Not sure yet as I don't have much faith in the HR department, and management turn a blind eye to bullying - some of them are pally with this group.

Time to look for a new job in a positive environment with better management! Would this be possible for you?

Absolutely - I'm actively looking for a new job. I could even leave without anything else if things get too much. But I don't want to let them 'win'.

How long have you worked there and how long approx have the bullies? Are any of them senior to you? How did you find out what they were doing and do you have proof to back your concerns? Emailing HR would give you proof that you have complained for future reference. If you are not in a Union join one, though they won’t be able to help with any existing dispute. You have more chance with HR if you work for a larger firm. Decide if you want to stay or not, but I can’t see anything wrong with you putting a complaint in to HR. You will want a paper trail to use against your employer if it gets worse. They do have a duty of care. I would use those words and remind them of it.

If you are looking for a new job and have a good chance of getting one I would go for the full on formal complaint and an employment lawyer for a cash settlement. A letter from them will move this on. You do however need to show you have complained and they did nothing. Every incident complain in writing, emails are fine.

Around 3 years, and the group - which consists of younger men and women - for slightly less time. We are all the same level.

Found out through having to move desks one day next to where they sit (they had gone on a break) and seeing some paperwork on their desks with a couple of cartoon drawings of me with my name, agent ID on (it's a call centre), which had been passed around as it had several lots of handwriting on them saying "GEC looks like a man", "she is a drag queen" and one of them had left their screen open with a horrible email on it regarding nicknames for those in the call centre - mine was Funny Face.

I was too shocked and upset to do anything or think to take photos of the evidence, then they came back from their break and looked shifty and started whispering and sniggering to each other.

A few months ago a supervisor decided to have a 'team building' activity to get us to give each other nicknames, said "what should we call GEC?" and one of the group said "We call her Funny Face" Again, I didn't say anything, think I just laughed.

I can't begin to tell you how this has affected my self esteem and I'm worried that everyone else is also laughing at me behind my back.

My make up is generally lipstick, undereye concealer, eyeliner, mascara and blusher. Sometimes I wear earrings.

I don't normally comment on topics, but this has made me very angry. You need to speak to your line manager.

As to "striking" - I find Demi Moore striking. We are thankfully not all the same.

Incidentally, I used to suffer from slight facial hair because of a hormone imbalance. One year, a colleague (I knew which one immediately) sent a Santa card with "We wish you a hairy Christmas" on the front. Some people never grow up and usually target others who don't quite fit in with them.

That is disgusting @VivienneJ. And you are right - some people never grow up and usually target others who don't quite fit in with them. Especially when there's men and women trying to impress each other.

This - keep your cards close to your chest..

Don't give them a chance to fabricate excuses.

A few months ago a supervisor decided to have a 'team building' activity to get us to give each other nicknames

IF this is true, then it was entirely inappropriate.

Nicknames - even affectionate ones - are no longer acceptable in workplaces. I have friends in the police force. New team members knew they were properly part of the team when they were given a nickname. It was a rite of passage - now it isn't allowed. to eve "nice" ones.

I don't doubt that some people still do it, but I don't believe a supervisor would be so crass.

Fuck it, I'd just leave. That IS the win. Leave them all to rot in their toxic environment, one of them will be the next one to be bullied when you are gone. I'd hand my notice in explaining exactly why I was leaving and go and get on with my life happily. We get far too short a time at life to waste it in a horrible place when we don't have to. My lovely friend has just passed away in her 40s from a short but awful illness and she would have said enjoy every second as you never know when it's going to be gone. She didn't know she wouldn't be here anymore a couple of months ago. Don't waste your time, thoughts or energy on a crap situation and crappier people. Winning is moving on with a better job and life.

Rain Dove suffered this kind of bullying, growing up, called "tranny Danny" etc
They had the last laugh - successful modelling career.
I think they are beautiful with striking features - although considered androgynous, they are chameleon-like, able to present as masc or femme or non-binary. I think they are stunning.

“Funny Face” - your colleagues are clearly legendary wits. I bet it took them ages to come up with that.

I would be collecting as much evidence as you can and if HR won’t act collect evidence of that too and talk to a lawyer. If you have to leave due to a toxic work environment it’s constructive dismissal and you can sue.

Your colleagues are utter twats and it's zero business of theirs how you look. What they are doing is bullying and it needs to be reported. It is absolutely not exceptable to mock a colleague especially form a group for it... That is just shitty playground behaviour! (actually ive had this behaviour towards me from teachers in the staffroom so it really doesn't surprise me people are so shitty but it is unexceptable).

Just googled and very stunning.