Is there something wrong with how I look?

[GEC44]

Straight to the point - I've discovered a group of colleagues are talking about me behind my back and sending each other cartoon drawings of me, saying that I look like a man, look like a drag queen, and that my nickname is Funny Face.

I've been told by a beautician that I have strong features, and an 'image consultant' that I am 'striking'. Whatever that means.

Any thoughts?

How about people can look and wear whatever the fuck they want without judgemental people like you.

they are the ugly ones. be proud of who you are!!! Ignore the bitches.
You are beautiful!

Your employer has a 'duty of care' towards you and if you are older than the bullies, I would drop in that the bullies are using age to harass you, which is a protected characteristic under the equality act. Get copies of these cartoons and any other evidence. If you make a formal complaint they have a responsibility to investigate or they themselves could face legal action. There is plenty of advice online about workplace bullying and the responsibilities of the employer. Contact your Union, your home insurance may give you free access to a lawyer on how to tackle your employer on workplace bullying and you can phone ACAS. I know someone that got good advice from them to tackle their employer. Make each of them heavily regret their actions.

Well said.

OP if you think about the people that are making the comments in your workplace, Im sure each of them has something that you could laugh at or comment on. Not one of them is perfect. Get angry, report them in great detail.

I don’t think this is anything to do with the way you look. To put someone down they clearly must have personal issues of their own, nothing to do with you

I am sorry they are such mean girls.

It doesn’t actually matter what you look like. Your colleagues are disgusting bullies.

Your colleagues are vile and truly ugly to the core. This bullying absolutely needs to be reported. Go to HR and don’t let those fuckers eat away st your confidence.
And while I have no idea what you look like this type of bullying usually comes from a place of jealousy and self doubt.

I think Lake Bell and she’s bloody gorgeous. Wish my chin was that strong, I am half woman and half chicken.

I haven't read the entire thread OP. Its extremely childish and unprofessional of your colleagues. Have you spoke to HR or your own manager?

Do YOU think your features have changed? My friend was diagnosed with acromegaly so its something to consider if you fit the symptoms.
Acromegaly - NHS (www.nhs.uk)

There is a lot wrong with how your colleagues act! Immature unprofessional bullies! Like pp, I advise going to HR.

Agree that this is sounds like bullying and is unacceptable. If tyou're a union member, can you speak to a rep? Also, your line manager/HR.

This. So much of what we deem beautiful especially for women is down to media and social conditioning from a young age. My friends 3 year old toddler would point out “ugly babies” and her mum would giggle.
I was horrified but then I realised she got it from her mum who would criticise people looks a lot including children.

Are you part of the nasty group?

Why should it matter how much make up I wear or don't wear?

It matters to the precise extent of your upset about a bunch of dipsticks calling you a drag queen.

If you don't care - and there's no reason why you should - then don't care. Embrace it, even.

But your whole thread is about you being distressed by others' perceptions of your appearance. At least some of that perception relates to your style of makeup. If you wanted to alter it, you could change your style.

How fucking dare they? Drawing pictures of a colleague? Bunch of complete assholes.

They will be the type to talk about everyone behind their backs. It won't be just you OP. Its bullying and there will be a comedian ringleader who everyone will go along with as a form of self protection in case they become the next topic of conversation.

I worked with a colleague who was nearing retirement who had a 'nickname' for loads of people in the office (a corporate office). I can't remember the names she called people other than they were all based on how they looked e.g. if they were short or tall, wide or narrow - it didn't matter, if she didn't like them (and sometimes she didn't actually even know them), she had some derogatory nickname for them. I remember being very shocked when she first said used them in front of me. I stopped sitting near her at lunch because I didn't want to be associated with her. She was an awful woman, had been there far too long and thought she was popular and funny. She was neither of those things except to those who were of a similar ilk.

I don't know how you'd go about reporting them. But I'd take a photo on your phone of the drawings and I would have a meeting with HR. I think it should go on these people's file tbh.

Honestly, it’s a bullying thing and it’s very hurtful. I think you should intercept one or two of these pictures/notes and take it to HR.

I can't know if there is anything'wrong' (seems unlikely though) with your looks but can tell you that there is much wrong with your colleagues.

They are petty childish and bullying.

If you can stand up to them -please do.

When they tire if taking you apart they will go on to another person -and another. (Every person - no matter how lovely- had some feature that can be picked on.)

This is childish bullying

How did you find out?

Bingo

That's my question too.

I'm thinking about the chances of being able to obtain any hard evidence to take to HR.

That said, if they've been stupid enough (and I fully expect they were) to have shared pictures via work-related devices, IT could retrieve the evidence.

However, if the information about this behaviour has come verbally from a third party, then without them standing up to be counted HR's ability to pursue/act may be much more difficult.

Also, I'd just add Jamie Lee Curtis to the list of beautiful striking women. 👍

I came here to say this! All the shit she took as brienne, but she is hands down one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen.
I adore her face, figure, style! She is just absolutely gorgeous and I think my main girl crush!

If people can be mean about gwen, what chance do mere mortals have?!

Firstly, your colleagues are cunts and I wish this wasn't an anonymous forum so I could wipe the floor with the fuckers. It's just gone 3am and I'm raging reading this. No idea who these little gobshites think they are but it's their problem, not yours.

Honestly, horrid, awful bastards! I'm so sorry you're going through this 💐💐💐

Before someone comes and kicks off at me for what I'm about to say and wants to tell me that ugly people exist and I'm being naive or condescending or anything else, please just don't bother.

I think if people have so many wonderful features that it's really only the truly unpleasant people who are ugly.
I've met so many people (always worked in huge environments etc) and I hand on my heart in all the many 1000s of people I've met have ever found someone ugly for their appearance.
We're so used to seeing people now eradicate their ancestors features from their faces with surgery or filler, that a good strong nose will be "ugly" to some, or those wonderful smile lines that we get will be injected to nothing, we've lost sight of how we were beautiful with just accepting who we are.
People who feel they're ugly or plain, it's because they're not appreciating their features. You're not telling me that out of all your physical characteristics you don't have - a lovely smile/pretty eyes/nice freckles/great cheek bones/lovely chubby cheeks/your great grandma's nose? Something that you think is at bare minimum, nice?
I'm not saying everyone is a model, not everyone has that exceptional beauty, be it modern standard beauty or old Hollywood style. But just because you're not Marilyn Monroe or Kim Kardashian, doesn't mean sweet fuck all.

Being unusual looking, being average looking, isn't ugly. It never has been, what's ugly is those people who walk into a room and your stomach drops because they're so awful to be around.

I've been called ugly my whole life, childhood, growing up, later online and it sucks hearing it, but here's the thing, I'm fucking not, because never once have I been someone who people will have felt uncomfortable around etc, and I have absolutely adorable freckles so fuck em all.