My boyfriends family member paid for everyone’s ice cream, AIBU for being upset that bf didn’t say anything

[Redrose28]

I hope this doesn’t seem too petty. I went out with my boyfriend , his sister and her boyfriend. We had ice creams. My boyfriends sisters boyfriend told my boyfriend he’ll pay for him and his girlfriends ice cream whilst waiting in line. I had to pay for my own ice cream. I felt quite awkward. I by no means want a hand out, but this felt quite rude. I felt upset that my boyfriend didn’t say that he’d pay for us to stand up for me abit. I know I would stood up for him in that position. AIBU?

He sounds like a prick. It’s almost like he’s made a point of not paying for yours wanting to turn it into an awkward situation. No idea why though. He’s probably just an arsehole

YANBU. Definitely say something. It's very rude.

If I have a problem with someone I take it up with them personally do adults need standing up for?

If you had a problem then deal with it yourself

The sister boyfriend sounds like a dick. The fact that he made a point out of saying this, is very odd.

But also, you could have said something yourself. You could have said ‘oh no it’s fine I will get ours’. Yes your boyfriend could have.

I guess he was taken aback about odd it was as well.

Leave it.
Your boyfriend's family member just didn't have the cash, forgot, couldn't count, remembered that your boyfriend shouted him an icecream once or something. It's done with.

If a pattern of mean behaviour were to develop then take more note then but as a one off it is more attractive of you and better for your morale and self confidence to just build a bridge and get over it.

People have to learn that very important grown up skill in life - to build a bridge and get over it and on with life or you spend too much precious time with a chip on your shoulder, griping and looking for grievances.
Don't take it to heart. It's not big enough an issue to remember or lose sleep over.

Olden day people had the real life hardships of World Wars, no Social Security, no electricity and The Great Depression etc. so we modern people are way too sheltered and spoilt and need to remember to look further at the big picture and past small spats..

That's fine if he wants to behave like this because you can match his behaviour towards you now. Next time but your bf and his sister an ice cream but not him.
Simple, just balance the scales and if questioned just say that you didn't think about him.

Call me petty but I'd make sure there was a situation in which I was buying a round, and then leave him out. Leaving 1 person out of a round of anything is fucking rude.

I think you should walk away from the lot of them and not look back.

I don’t think it’s a big deal. How long have you been together and how long has the sisters boyfriend known you? I probs wouldn’t buy an ice cream for someone I’d just met and was dating someone I knew for a few weeks. If you’ve all known each other for years it’s a bit different.

This would irk me somewhat. Especially thanking you for buying your own. You’re not going to see him for 3 weeks. How long have you been together?

What your bf should have done is given his ice cream to you and then bought himself another.

Because if they are all 13 maybe they haven’t developed the social skills to understand how rude this is. If they are 30 then it really was astonishingly ride towards OP.

I reckon he had bought him one before. Personally I would have just bought mine and not given it a second thought. Maybe I am thick skinned but it doesn’t sound like a big deal.

Why didn't the op standup to say she would pay for her boyfriend and herself? Am I missing something?

Did your boyfriend drive to where you are going? So he was buying "the driver" something.

Why would she leave out the ice-cream when telling a story about the buying of ice-cream ….?

Everyone else was able to look past ‘the prop’(?!) to the actual issue, even if you weren’t.

OP - you’re right, it’s weird. I’d have probably brought it up afterwards. And it’s not about men paying for women - it’s about people paying for people, and not leaving one person out.

In fairness to your boyfriend it probably caught him by surprise, and he didn’t think in time how to remedy the situation.

Both men were rude, one for not including you and the other for not saying Thanks mate but I’ll get mine and Refs’.

I’m still mad about an early bf who made himself a sandwich and ate it front of me! Didn’t even offer me one! This was 18 years ago haha
He ended up being a selfish dick in the end anyway !

OP it’s very odd and rude for him not to include you, I’d raise with your bf.

Why didn't either of you say anything? Why don't you want your bf to think you don't like the bil? He did a really weird thing, did you all just stand round gawping at each other? Me thinks if you stay with this wet blanket, you need to do an assertiveness course or something. This was really odd and will be the tip of the iceberg.

I don’t agree, it’s still rude. So someone new to a group of friends etc should he excluded from drinks rounds because they’re new??

Not RTFT. The sister's boyfriend dislikes you and is a twat, or just a bit ignorant.
Your boyfriend should have stood up for you.

If she'd have started a thread saying she'd been left out of something everyone would be asking what it was as lack of context you can't tell if it's unreasonable. If she'd have said "buying food" everyone would ask well was it a 3 course meal or a chocolate bar as obviously that makes a difference. You need to put context in so people can judge the situation correctly.

Its not like getting into a ‘Round’ situation like buying rounds in a bar, where it can get expensive as most people have more than drink but ice cream different.

Let it go, and keep an eye in future. Maybe just an awkward moment. At most I would joke with boyfriend that sisters bf better buy me an ice cream next time. Don't invest too much energy in the small stuff and try to see yourself and other people positively.