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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

My boyfriends family member paid for everyone’s ice cream, AIBU for being upset that bf didn’t say anything

220 replies

Redrose28 · 11/07/2023 22:36

I hope this doesn’t seem too petty. I went out with my boyfriend , his sister and her boyfriend. We had ice creams. My boyfriends sisters boyfriend told my boyfriend he’ll pay for him and his girlfriends ice cream whilst waiting in line. I had to pay for my own ice cream. I felt quite awkward. I by no means want a hand out, but this felt quite rude. I felt upset that my boyfriend didn’t say that he’d pay for us to stand up for me abit. I know I would stood up for him in that position. AIBU?

OP posts:
Dacadactyl · 11/07/2023 22:39

I think the bloke who paid for the ice cream was being petty!

I can't believe his gf didn't say "oi, tightwad, what about @Redrose28"

I would've expected better from your bf too tbh.

42wordsfordrizzle · 11/07/2023 22:40

It is rude of the sisters boyfriend. I think your boyfriend should have reminded him that there were 4 of you in the group.

Have you been with him long?

HighEndGrifters · 11/07/2023 22:41

Is he or your boyfriend terribly poor ?

If not, no excuse.

LizBennet · 11/07/2023 22:43

So he paid for 3 ice creams out of 4, or just his and his girlfriend’s? If it’s the former he’s a rude arsehole 🤷🏼‍♀️
If it’s the latter, maybe he was skint?

Clymene · 11/07/2023 22:44

That's very odd and very rude.

Tangelablue · 11/07/2023 22:44

I think your boyfriend should have told him he would get yours and his icecreams. It sounds really awkward. Did they all walk off while you bought yours to make you feel really left out as well?

Viviennemary · 11/07/2023 22:45

That was cheeky. He should not have left you out. Do you ever pay for things for them.

wutheringkites · 11/07/2023 22:45

How old are you all?

LizBennet · 11/07/2023 22:46

wutheringkites · 11/07/2023 22:45

How old are you all?

What bearing does that have on anything?

ComtesseDeSpair · 11/07/2023 22:46

So your boyfriend’s sister’s boyfriend paid for ice creams for himself and her; and you wanted your boyfriend to likewise pay for your ice cream as well, as a similar gesture to show he “takes care of” or “spoils” you or whatever? How long have you been dating? What’s your usual way of splitting costs like this?

DemonicCaveMaggot · 11/07/2023 22:46

Buying for two of you and not the third is odd. Is he 12? That would explain his dodgy understanding of buying 'rounds'.

At least you're not dating him.

MajorDanger · 11/07/2023 22:47

I think your boyfriend should have told him he would get yours and his icecreams

this was my thought.
Have you met this other guy before? Maybe he just wasn’t thinking but bought your bf because he knows him but not yours because he doesn’t know you? It is odd but maybe he’s just clueless?

Daisywishes · 11/07/2023 22:47

Awkward! Maybe he could only afford three

Hellomaisie · 11/07/2023 22:48

I’m unclear. Did your boyfriend’s sister’s boyfriend pay for hers, and both of theirs? Or just his and hers?

Did your boyfriend pay for his? And did you pay for yours?

If the sister’s boyfriend paid for everyone’s but yours, YANBU. But the sister’s boyfriend is the baddie in that situation, tbh.

AppleandSpice · 11/07/2023 22:50

ComtesseDeSpair · 11/07/2023 22:46

So your boyfriend’s sister’s boyfriend paid for ice creams for himself and her; and you wanted your boyfriend to likewise pay for your ice cream as well, as a similar gesture to show he “takes care of” or “spoils” you or whatever? How long have you been dating? What’s your usual way of splitting costs like this?

He paid for his own, his gf and ops bf leaving op to pay for her own.

wutheringkites · 11/07/2023 22:50

@LizBennet

A bit. If a 45 year old with a full time job did this I'd think it was worse than an 18 year old with no money and less experience of these situations.

LizBennet · 11/07/2023 22:51

Yeah that’s fair enough.

Aquamarine1029 · 11/07/2023 22:52

Well, that was a spectacularly cunty thing to do. What on earth?

Whichclubisittonight · 11/07/2023 22:55

Yeah, that's weird. Although maybe it was more "I'll pay for GF's and your ice cream" and your BF thought the you was plural?! <clutching at straws>

Redrose28 · 11/07/2023 22:56

I’m 22 , my bf is 26. The sister and her boyfriend are in their early 20s. To confirm, my sisters boyfriend paid for everyone except me. My boyfriend thanked me for paying for mine as the situation was abit awkward. Do you guys think I should bring it up with my bf or leave it?

OP posts:
neilyoungismyhero · 11/07/2023 22:56

ComtesseDeSpair · 11/07/2023 22:46

So your boyfriend’s sister’s boyfriend paid for ice creams for himself and her; and you wanted your boyfriend to likewise pay for your ice cream as well, as a similar gesture to show he “takes care of” or “spoils” you or whatever? How long have you been dating? What’s your usual way of splitting costs like this?

She's saying the guy bought ice creams for everyone else but ignored her, making her feel awkward. I would have felt a Charlie too OP.

TimeToMoveIt · 11/07/2023 22:57

That's a really weird thing to do

Dacadactyl · 11/07/2023 22:58

I'd be annoyed my bf hadn't paid for mine tbh. But then I would expect a bloke to pay for me and not every woman seems to want that.

I'm not sure I'd bring it up with him tho. Is he usually generous? If not, does it bother you?

GoingToBeLessRubbishAtLife · 11/07/2023 23:01

This sort of shit is why I always think of myself as ‘not a people person’.

Fucking weirdo.

MmmALovelyBitOfSquirrel · 11/07/2023 23:02

Definitely odd. My bf wouldn't ever let that happen. If it somehow came about that way, he'd naturally be quick to pay for mine. If it's bothering you, talk to him about it. If you feel like you can't or you're worried he'll take it wrong, that's more concerning than getting left out on a free ice cream. Wonder what the 'bil' was thinking, to intentionally leave you out?! I'd definitely be 🤨🧐 about ti