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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He's eaten before our date

355 replies

waitingforautumn · 03/07/2023 17:04

Not a first date, several in. He was supposed to be taking me out tonight but he's messaged during the day to say that he's got a load of leftovers in that he needs to eat so he will eat first (before a walk/drink in his area). I'm the one who's travelling to see him and would need to spend on a taxi home given our locations. I don't expect dinner on him or anything, I always split bills, but it would be nice if we could enjoy some food and drink together after this walk! I can appreciate that if his housemates are in this eve it might not be easy to switch to having a night in, so I won't question that - however if it were me I would let the leftovers sit and find something we could eat/drink together!! AIBU that this has p'd me off? I feel a bit deflated as was excited to see him. Why eat first like it's some sort of job? Knowing your date won't have eaten after a day at work?!

Last date was a gig that he arranged so we didn't have food then either but it was fine as could bring snacks etc and went for a drink after. Would have been nice for dinner to have been factored in. He does seem to be a fan of chilled dates like food markets/picnics, helps that it is summer. But it would be nice for things to be a bit more planned. I feel bad suggesting dinners in case it's a money thing. But being early days it's nice to go out and feel like you're being spoilt a bit?! Maybe I'm just grumpy because it's Monday and I didn't enjoy the lunch I had a few hrs ago!! What's your take?

OP posts:
SquirrelSoShiny · 29/07/2023 08:07

What decision did you make in the end @waitingforautumn ? Hope you feel comfortable with whatever choice you made 🙂

penjil · 07/11/2023 00:50

"Not tonight love, I'm eating my leftovers" almost sounds as bad as the "Sorry, I'm washing my hair excuse" 😂

But at least he was honest. So that's something. 👍

LuckySantangelo35 · 07/11/2023 12:22

therescoffeeinthatnebula · 03/07/2023 17:22

I’d say you’re finishing up work and are hungry, so a friend is taking you out for dinner instead. And not offer an alternative time to meet up. Just leave it there.

perfect!!

Needmorelego · 07/11/2023 12:28

@LuckySantangelo35 this thread is from July.
The OP either got over this and dumped him or they are still dating.

TheWorldisGoingMad · 14/11/2023 09:55

Blondey2023 · 03/07/2023 17:06

I suspect he can't afford to buy you dinner and he is finding excuses to get out of being in that situation. I would be annoyed too OP, a girls gotta eat!

OP said they always split bills. He is not buying her dinner.

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