I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

[Lostsoul0307]

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

Do you class that as unfaithful? I don't. If I found out DP had done that to a female stripper, I'd be cross, but I wouldn't class that as cheating in the slightest

Unless he's likely to hear it from someone else why would you hurt him by telling him?
Your guilt is for you to deal with.

What did you actually do?

I'm a real prude and I wouldn't class this as cheating.

How would he react if you told him? Are you worried he'll find out?

"I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should"
@Lostsoul0307 Can you clarify exactly what you done?

Is this a reverse?

You licked his Willy?
I'd be keeping that firmly to myself

Sorry I can tell the messages from above I've been unclear.

I gave him a blowjob - not all the way but more than just a quick get the cream off.

sounds like she went full nosh-off on the stripper, whereas some licked a bit of cream off.

What did you actually do?

I wouldn't say anything it was a stripper not an affair

Yeah, that's grim in my book. But I wouldn't tell your DH.

I guess you’re just worried he’ll find out from someone who was ‘in the crowd’?
And if there’s no chance of that happening, I think you should keep it quiet , because it’s horrible and will really hurt him.

It wasn't "full" but was more than the others

Oh yikes...just read your follow up post.

Did you do that in front of people? Is your husband likely to find out from people you know? Yeah you should probably tell him.

Do not tell him.
What happens at a Hen Party stays at the hen party.
What good will it do to tell him? Assuage your guilt? I don’t think so.

It will just open a can of worms you can do without.
Stop thinking about it and keep busy. Time will dull the memory and probably give you more perspective.

Dont blame you for feeling horrendous about this’d that’s awful. You need to be honest with him though, and try to limit your self pity, this isn’t about how bad you feel really.

Oh dear. Is it possible videos or pictures were taken?

Do male strippers actually engage in prostitution like that - performing actual sex acts in front of people like that? Don’t they have boundaries? Very odd.

Oh my goodness 😬 I think tell him before someone else who was in the crowd does

You did that infront of a crowd? Mortifying. I feel bad for you.

Was this is front of the other women?

Do you feel you need to tell him incase someone else does that saw?

Will he otherwise find out? If he won't then don't tell him - it will be for your benefit and not his.

If you think he will find out than I'd suggest simply, directly and quickly. With a lot of apologising. And be fully prepared that he might not want a relationship any more.

Unlikely he had a big Union Jack flag that I was behind but not impossible

I would keep quiet about this by the way.