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AIBU?

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Original poster

I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

960 replies

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:48

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

OP posts:
YoungerDryas · 03/07/2023 12:03

Comedycook · 03/07/2023 11:59

Highly unlikely I'd imagine

Show quote history

Wouldn’t he have a contract stating that no one could touch his nob? And what about the risk of herpes is licking cream off it is part of the act?

BansheeofInisherin · 03/07/2023 12:03

MrsO3 · 03/07/2023 12:01

@Lostsoul0307 oh goodness. You need to tell DH. You've definitely been unfaithful. I'm shocked at the amount of people on here saying to keep quiet. How sneaky. How would you feel it he was at a stag and ended up 'licking out' the stripper?

Furious. It's definitely cheating. I am just saying not to tell him to spare him some pain. Not because I think it is inconsequential.

Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:03

Comedycook · 03/07/2023 12:01

That was a silly thing to do...still you seem to excel at making terrible decisions op!

Show quote history

I know, she confessed to similar but not as far

OP posts:
SparklingMarkling · 03/07/2023 12:03

@brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Goes on in our local strip club all the time. Unofficially of course (private dances in your own cubicle behind the curtain) you pay more of course.

I mean OP did cheat but are we talking a full on Nosh or just a quick gobble.

no good can come of this. Keep quiet and hope for the best.

FrenchandSaunders · 03/07/2023 12:03

has to be a wind up!

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 03/07/2023 12:03

mauricemossmylove · 03/07/2023 11:58

if my OH had given a stripper oral sex I'd certainly think that was cheating yeah, sorry

Sorry OP but I agree

AnonKat · 03/07/2023 12:03

I'm calling BS.

But it's interesting to see how many women think that blow jobs are fine, and not cheating!

Twistyripple · 03/07/2023 12:04

This must be a wind up. OPs latests posts about being horny are just daft

FOJN · 03/07/2023 12:04

MrsO3 · 03/07/2023 12:01

@Lostsoul0307 oh goodness. You need to tell DH. You've definitely been unfaithful. I'm shocked at the amount of people on here saying to keep quiet. How sneaky. How would you feel it he was at a stag and ended up 'licking out' the stripper?

It's to protect the husband from being hurt, not to absolve the OP, she will have to make peace with the guilt she feels for what she did.

romdowa · 03/07/2023 12:04

I mean everyone else was pissed drunk, they all licked the cream from his Penis, you were underneath a flag as well. How likely is it that the others would have noticed you spent slightly more time down there then they did?

HeadacheEarthquake · 03/07/2023 12:04

Not to be negative but...

It's likely that if you did go overboard compared to everyone else, then the other hens will be telling their mates about it. Was anything said the next day? I can't imagine not feeling extremely awkward the next morning and I imagine your husband will at some point hear about it, but by then the Chinese whispers will have overblown (scuse the pun) the original events.

No offence to the organiser if thats what the bride wanted but that seems a really childish tacky horrible evening in my view and likely to be booked by someone who also enjoys a good gossip.

Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:04

SparklingMarkling · 03/07/2023 12:03

@brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Goes on in our local strip club all the time. Unofficially of course (private dances in your own cubicle behind the curtain) you pay more of course.

I mean OP did cheat but are we talking a full on Nosh or just a quick gobble.

no good can come of this. Keep quiet and hope for the best.

Honestly it eas maybe 3-4 minutes so in between

OP posts:
BansheeofInisherin · 03/07/2023 12:04

Actually am not sure if this is a windup... Seems rather unlikely for a hen do.

ChickenMacaroni · 03/07/2023 12:04

I think you should stop drinking, permanently and immediately since it makes you make such awful decisions.

On the telling DH - unless you want to change your relationship irreparably forever then don't. I'm not saying keeping secrets is a good idea but you'd literally only be telling him to assuage guilt if he's not going to find out from anyone else. Caveat to this is if the 1 person you've told is at even a teeny tiny risk of blabbing.

KatherineSwynford1403 · 03/07/2023 12:04

I've been to some very tame hen parties then if this is what goes on. Never had a stripper at any of them in the last 12 years.

Smoothiecarton · 03/07/2023 12:04

Men do not do this to strippers all the time. Prostitutes perhaps. A man that went in for oral at a stripclub would be escorted out very quickly.

LadyH846 · 03/07/2023 12:05

Is this for real? I can't imagine many women who would be aroused by giving a stripper a blowie in front of a crowd of people?

YoungerDryas · 03/07/2023 12:05

Twistyripple · 03/07/2023 12:04

This must be a wind up. OPs latests posts about being horny are just daft

Hypothetical reverse if you ask me. “All you women with double standards”.

Damnedidont · 03/07/2023 12:05

Confessing achieves nothing but cause pain. Guilt is the price you pay - please don't make him pay too

neverbeenskiing · 03/07/2023 12:05

I wouldn't say anything it was a stripper not an affair

It wasn't an affair because it happened once, but she gave a man who isn't her DH oral sex, so it absolutely is cheating. I'm find it odd that some posters are saying because he was a stripper it "didn't count". Strippers are still people!

If OP had posted saying her DH had gone down on another woman but he was claiming it didn't count as infidelity because she was a sex worker she'd still he told he was a cheating scum bag and to LTB.

Berlinlover · 03/07/2023 12:05

Ob12 · 03/07/2023 12:02

Classic Mumsnet, "don't tell him" "what happens on a hen stays..." if this were a man, they would be crucified

I agree.

Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:05

HeadacheEarthquake · 03/07/2023 12:04

Not to be negative but...

It's likely that if you did go overboard compared to everyone else, then the other hens will be telling their mates about it. Was anything said the next day? I can't imagine not feeling extremely awkward the next morning and I imagine your husband will at some point hear about it, but by then the Chinese whispers will have overblown (scuse the pun) the original events.

No offence to the organiser if thats what the bride wanted but that seems a really childish tacky horrible evening in my view and likely to be booked by someone who also enjoys a good gossip.

I don't know - people took turns and some were there longer than others, I don't know who did what exactly as in some literally just licked the cream off and were out

OP posts:
BansheeofInisherin · 03/07/2023 12:05

LadyH846 · 03/07/2023 12:05

Is this for real? I can't imagine many women who would be aroused by giving a stripper a blowie in front of a crowd of people?

Indeed. Windup. The horny bit was rather too far.

tellmewhentheLangshiplandscoz · 03/07/2023 12:06

3 to 4 minutes in this context is a long time Sad

MrsO3 · 03/07/2023 12:06

I see where you're coming from to a certain extend but this happened at a hen and she's told someone else already so this is just messy now, it could easily get back to DH. It's one of those things that's better coming from the horse's mouth rather than him finding out through someone else. That's far worse. She's done wrong. She needs to be honest then deal with the consequences. Either DH can forgive and forget or he can't but that's on her