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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

960 replies

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:48

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

OP posts:
StonwEd · 03/07/2023 12:16

This is too disgusting to be true. You AND OTHER PEOPLE sucked off the same man?!
and on the vague possibility it is true, some posters are saying not to tell your husband?!
I’m no prude, and I love a booze up but this is beyond grim.
If true, sort yourself out and also set your husband free because unless he has similar morals to yourself, he deserves a lot better 🤢🤢🤢

MyTruthIsOut · 03/07/2023 12:16

I’m confused…..

So he was standing (?), sitting (?) whilst holding a giant flag in front of him, and one by own the women would go behind the flag with a can of cream and do whatever they wanted to do hidden from view? And crawl out from behind the flag when they were done so the next lady could take her turn?!

What the hell?

I can’t even imagine how this works.

And I can’t believe a stripper is allowed to let women perform oral sex on him as part of his job?

And as another poster said, god knows how many mouths his penis has been in, so perhaps you need to consider whether there are any health risks to you and ergo your partner too…

A 3-4 minute blow job is absolutely cheating

A quick lick of some cream that was on a penis, for 5-10 seconds whilst trying not to wet yourself from laughing is normal Hen Night antics, but what you did is a million miles away from that.

ItsNotWhatItsNot · 03/07/2023 12:16

@Lostsoul0307 you’ve put me off my lunch.

SleepingStandingUp · 03/07/2023 12:17

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:59

I'm hoping to hear more of this

Show quote history

so if he goes to see a stripper and sucks her nipples or licks her between the legs, you're ok with it?

Campervangirl · 03/07/2023 12:17

Keep quiet op, there's no point in telling your DH.
You need to learn to keep your mouth shut.
None of the below would happen if you kept/keep your mouth shut.
1: noshing off a stripper 😁
2: telling another hen
3: telling DH
Give yourself a break, keep shtum, if the other hen blabs, feign ingnorance, if the other hens suggest you were behind the flag for a while "yeah, I was just playing up to the audience, giving you hens something to laugh about, nothing happened, what do you take me for 😂"
Front it out, chin up, tits out.
Seriously, your punishment is the guilt and the thought that you noshed off a stripper, grim!
Anyway thanks for cheering up my Monday morning in the office

Angelofthenortheast · 03/07/2023 12:17

There's no way this is true.

LondonPapa · 03/07/2023 12:17

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 11:59

I'm hoping to hear more of this

Show quote history

Ridiculous. It is classed as cheating. I'm not sure why when a guy does it, MN comes out screaming the girls dumb the lads but when it is switched around, it is okay and not cheating.

You sucked a stripper off. You cheated. Tell him and face the consequences.

Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:17

JeandeServiette · 03/07/2023 12:14

NOBODY finds a stripper and whipped cream "arousing".

For goodness sake, perhaps it was broad shoulder's the 6 pack and the significantly bigger than average cock

OP posts:
skippy67 · 03/07/2023 12:18

Your DH doesn't need to know. Say nothing.

TheCosmosIsMine · 03/07/2023 12:18

your poor husband married to you

MaybeWednesday · 03/07/2023 12:18

I'm very surprised you were "horny" watching this. I can't imagine many women do get aroused watching a man gyrate a cream covered penis round and round!

Laugh maybe! Get sexually excited? Never!

GoodChat · 03/07/2023 12:18

LakeTiticaca · 03/07/2023 12:15

Nothing to be gained by telling him.
Just keep schtum

It's not about her gaining anything.
It's about him knowing who he's married to.

Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:18

Campervangirl · 03/07/2023 12:17

Keep quiet op, there's no point in telling your DH.
You need to learn to keep your mouth shut.
None of the below would happen if you kept/keep your mouth shut.
1: noshing off a stripper 😁
2: telling another hen
3: telling DH
Give yourself a break, keep shtum, if the other hen blabs, feign ingnorance, if the other hens suggest you were behind the flag for a while "yeah, I was just playing up to the audience, giving you hens something to laugh about, nothing happened, what do you take me for 😂"
Front it out, chin up, tits out.
Seriously, your punishment is the guilt and the thought that you noshed off a stripper, grim!
Anyway thanks for cheering up my Monday morning in the office

Well you have genuinely made me lol

OP posts:
ManateeFair · 03/07/2023 12:18

Yes, it's cheating to suck a stranger's dick at a party. Of course it is.

However, I do not think your DH will benefit in any way at all from being told about this. I would say nothing.

Honestly, if I'd done this I'd hate myself for it. I really would. But I wouldn't hurt my boyfriend by telling him about it. You'd be telling him for your own sake, not for his - you'd be making yourself feel better by unburdening yourself, but at the same time you'd be hurting him and potentially wrecking your marriage for both of you. Unless you really want to throw away your relationship for this, keep quiet.

Hoppinggreen · 03/07/2023 12:19

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Silverumbrella · 03/07/2023 12:19

This happened to dh’s mate, his wife did the same thing. They live locally and there was a stripper night in the local hall, dh mates wife (she was rat arsed) gave one of the strippers a BJ, it’s still talked about today, years later. We have no idea if dh mate actually knows or not, be hard not to as their small town is a breeding ground for gossip mongers.

FOJN · 03/07/2023 12:19

ThisIsNotThePostYourLookingFor · 03/07/2023 12:09

You got drunk at a hen party and took things a little bit too far. People make mistakes. Tell him and apologise, it’s not the end of the world. It would be completely different if you ended up in the guys bed and went the full hog.

Personally I don’t consider it cheating but I’m very open minded.

Tell him and apologise, it's not the end of the world?

It is cheating and it could well be the end of OP's marriage if her husband finds out.

Expecting your spouse not to have oral sex with other men is not closed minded, it's pretty reasonable after you've vowed to forsake all others.

ThinkTheresBeenAGlitch · 03/07/2023 12:19

This very unconvincing thread will ne misrepresented forever as 'classic Mumsnet double standards!' - it's happening on the thread right now. Despite the many posts clearly stating that it is a) infidelity and b) horrifying significantly outnumbering the 'it's not cheating' posts, people are still going 'imagine if it was reversed, you hypocrites!' as though it was a unanimous concensus.

isthismylifenow · 03/07/2023 12:19

The last time I saw a stripper, he didn't even take off his underwear.

Didn't have a flag either.

Or whipped cream.

😂

GalileoHumpkins · 03/07/2023 12:19

Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:17

For goodness sake, perhaps it was broad shoulder's the 6 pack and the significantly bigger than average cock

Show quote history

I was picturing him more like this tbh.

I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH
TheFireflies · 03/07/2023 12:20

Come off it 3-4 minutes? Everyone else would’ve been bored shitless by this point. That’s just not what happens.

Original poster
Lostsoul0307 · 03/07/2023 12:20

Silverumbrella · 03/07/2023 12:19

This happened to dh’s mate, his wife did the same thing. They live locally and there was a stripper night in the local hall, dh mates wife (she was rat arsed) gave one of the strippers a BJ, it’s still talked about today, years later. We have no idea if dh mate actually knows or not, be hard not to as their small town is a breeding ground for gossip mongers.

Luckily the party are spread out but how awful for him if everyone else knows

OP posts:
GoodChat · 03/07/2023 12:21

ThinkTheresBeenAGlitch · 03/07/2023 12:19

This very unconvincing thread will ne misrepresented forever as 'classic Mumsnet double standards!' - it's happening on the thread right now. Despite the many posts clearly stating that it is a) infidelity and b) horrifying significantly outnumbering the 'it's not cheating' posts, people are still going 'imagine if it was reversed, you hypocrites!' as though it was a unanimous concensus.

To be fair, most of the 'its not cheating' comments came when she said she just licked some cream off him, before she confirmed she'd actually sucked him off.

aperolspritzbasicbitch · 03/07/2023 12:21

Luckily the party are spread out but how awful for him if everyone else knows

The awful part begins and ends when the wife sucks off a stripper OP 🤣🤣

GoodChat · 03/07/2023 12:22

Luckily the party are spread out

They wont be spread out at the wedding.