I've been unfaithful and I don't know how tell DH

[Lostsoul0307]

I know I'm going to be absolutely annihilated for this but please believe me when I say I already feel terrible.

I was at a friends hen party this weekend at a holiday cottage with a group of about 20, on the Friday night a stripper had been hired and it was way more intimate than I was prepared for, he did a bit with whipped cream and a few of us licked off. I would never usually but I was really quite tipsy, there was a bit of crowd pressure and the whole thing was really quite arousing, I know these are lame excuses. I crossed a line and did stuff for way longer than I should.

I know I need to tell DH but I have no idea how to even go about bringing this up, he'll be crushed and I'm so disappointed in myself.

I’ve heard that women can feel pretty traumatised when they are pulled on stage as part of an act- they usually chose someone who looks embarrassed to be there.

I have heard of this sort of thing happening at a hen party before with a male stripper!

I went on a hen night with male strippers/dancers. Least sexy thing ever.

Can’t believe those saying this isn’t cheating!!

licking a bit of cream off a strippers stomach/chest = probably the right side of OK

licking cream off a penis = over the line

This 100% won’t stay quiet forever so I think honesty is the best policy :( sorry OP

If someone posted that their husband/partner had given oral sex to a female stripper in front of a crowd of people, everyone on here would be advising them to leave him. Of course you've cheated and of course you need to tell your husband what you've done. And you've got to expect , that what you've done will end your relationship.

I’m even sceptical about the posters who are playing ball with the op and giving serious responses.

Thank you

I cannot believe that some people on here don't think a 3-4 minute blow job is cheating 😳

Some of the posts on here 🤣

I believe you op as an ex friend of mine always ended up going extra with strippers at hen nights.

I honestly wouldn't tell your husband. If you tell him that could out the other 19. Shit would well and truly hit the fan for everyone.

Of course this happened.

Are you saying that numerous women in your group licked cream off a strippers penis? Seems unlikely.

It's a woman, that's why. If a man had gone down on a female stripper at a stag do, people would not be falling over themselves excusing it.

It's cheating. OP gotta hope there are no media of it, I guess. Or, she could be honest with her husband.

Yeah pretty sure a man giving oral to a female stripper would be cheating and his partner would be advised to leave

not sure why it’s different the other way round

You don't consider giving a stranger a blow job cheating? Wow...

Yep a man because if the assumption that a working stripper is somehow aroused enough to just stand there and WANT a blowjob off all these women. That’s because men think that female strippers fancy them too, it’s the same chain of thought. In fact generally female strippers are just thinking oh good, ten more minutes of endurance for this sad fuck man here and that’s the council tax paid. One more dance and I’ll go all out at aldi tonight. Etc.

Jesus fucking Christ.

If my partner put his tongue on anyone else's vagina for 3-4 seconds I would lose my fucking mind and he would be out of here, let alone 3-4 minutes.

You have cheated OP. You have to tell him.

Also, get yourself some new friends whilst you are at it. I cannot believe a group of grown women took it in turns to go behind a flag and lick cream off of a strippers penis. Grim.

Lostsoul0307 is not lost anymore, she’s behind a union jack flag, sucking off a sex worker for 4 minutes. So classy 😄

Got to say I LOVE all the “don’t say anything, it’s fine” posts. Imagine if OP was posting about the fact her husband went down on a female stripper and how the reactions would be different.

That's gross! So you licked cream off his penis after all your friends had licked it too.

NOBODY finds a stripper and whipped cream "arousing".

The double standards on mumsnet are incredible at times.. would you be giving a man the same advice to keep it from his partner? Didn’t think so..

Truth is, you have cheated and you HAVE hurt him by doing this, he just doesn’t know it yet, lying by omission is still lying and it’s disgusting, as was sucking off a stripper, especially after multiple women had done the same 🤮

I hope this is fake.

Nothing to be gained by telling him.
Just keep schtum

Shit. No doubting you was pretty hammered.
Erm, was photos / videos taken?

I am of the honesty is the policy opinion always and am inclined to stick with this as this sort of shit always comes back to bite you on the arse. No pun intended.

Yep. Get your hard hat. He will not be impressed so good luck with it cos you’re going to need it.

And next time. Do NOT get quite so drunk that you do stupid things like this.

Honestly, almost a thank you for vouching for me in that this can and does happen! When did it get so judgmental on here that if you've never done/experienced something directly that it "doesn't happen"

On a practical note, you should get yourself checked out for an std, I bet he wasn't wearing a condom. You really need to be honest with your dh, it's all going to come out eventually anyway