What's the most bonkers thread you've read on here?

[passioninthisworld]

I've been on Mumsnet for around 10 years now, I have read some crazy threads.

I'm lying in bed hungover and looking for some stories to brighten up my shameful Saturday afternoon.

If anyone wants to share it would be greatly appreciated

Why do you think so? MN never said that.

Years ago there was a "aupair had sex on my new silk rug" thread, but I have never been able to find it again. ... Oh, I managed to find it today! Its from 2005.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/childcare/70554-came-home-early-and-caught-ap-out-don-t-know?reply=1557370

There was also a shocking thread about a doctor who was persistant that girls and women only have "one hole" that is used both for weeing and giving birth.

Then there was the "penis beaker" thread. https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/1875847-Do-you-dunk-your-penis

Also the "cutting pizza with scissors". https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4675248-dh-says-this-is-gross

Or the van that blocked a cult-de-suck, and OPs car that subsequently blocked them back and OPs sun who kept telling the driver he doesnt know when mum will be back. including a diagram. dont know link to that one though.

Balonz

@GeorgeMichaelsCat If snapped and farted was a troll, why is her post still there?

@mananarama can you please tell me what te noihydc means, I’ve tried to Google it and can’t find anything….don’t think I’ve ever felt so old (I’m only 31!) 😂 x

That thread was wild. If the OP was genuine, I actually fear for where she might be now. 😳

@Doggolover2 It doesn't mean anything - it was a typo

@whatabeautifulwedding well now I feel like a tit hahaha! But thank you for saving me from a night of what the hell is that googling! X

Love the steak one!

www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4339095-DH-charged-me-for-Steak-but-Im-a-Veggie

Someone posting they were heartbroken and devastated because Rihanna’s Super Bowl maybe (?) performance was in their opinion, sub par.

The woman screaming in the Sistine Chapel has just finished me off…

someone commented “seek help, and stay away from Jerusalem” 😂😂😂😂😂

this thread is brilliant

Though to try and redeem my idiot self I would echo my favourite was the screaming 😂

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3178898-DH-embarrassed-by-my-sensitivity

also the recent strange one about the man who wanted to share bath water with his wife 😂

Bookmarking

Not bonkers but funny - the one recently where a woman (in the UK) slept in for work and texted her boss with an image she'd googled of a traffic jam to make it look like she'd taken the pic from her car window, but the cars were all had French license plates.

@lemonyfox several millions of people do it that way

All the weird posts by some AI chat bot that have popped up recently!

And when you call them out they follow you and comment stupid things on all your posts 😱😱

I reckon the dolphin poster wrote this as well....

As well as loads of them on here, I also love the one where some idiot parked his Ford Ranger on OP's drive and just left it there for ages. It turned out he had a famous footballer friend who lived near OP, whom he went visiting, and we were all trying to guess which footballer and what they were doing - playing Buckaroo with Bruce Grobelaar etc. Then it transpired that OP had a rather dashing, heroic brother, who won the beating hearts of half of MN, despite never having met him.

Also the one where OP lived near a very expensive and desirable tourist hotspot abroad (some suggested Biarritz) and had a vague acquaintance ask if she could stay with her (free) for an extended while. OP said No in a crystal clear way - that it would absolutely not be possible whatsoever, as OP and DH were very busy indeed with some urgent large commissions (arty types) and would be working non-stop. The acquaintance turned up at their house anyway, standing at the door with her heavy suitcases and frantically ringing the bell and messaging and seemed incredulous that, when somebody tells you that something is NOT possible, it actually means that it's not possible for them!

This 🤣

and the thread where OP went to pay her bill at a restaurant, with her phone, and her phone just died and the staff wouldnt let her go accross the road to get a charger. I think she had a young child with her as well, poor woman.

I remember that one, with the visitor at the door.

Also another one with visitors actually having spent a week or so at OPs house, without bringing a gift or anything. She managed to send them shopping and they did a huge shop and insisted on being paid back. I think they ended up having an argument and left at night or early morning and there possibly was beer being away as well.

A thread about a table decoration at a wedding, that was a wishing well with a real bell. The wedding couple had written a poem in the invitation about guests ringing the bell (with a minimum amount of money) instead of giving gifts. A number of people speculated with poems in return, one with the line "And ring, not the bell, but your very brass neck." Also someone considering going into business making suitable decorations in this line, including a giant pair of grasping ceramic hands.

Secondly: an OP finding a plastic vagina in her DP's man shed. Someone suggested leaving a note in it reading: "I'm leaving you for someone with a bigger dick." You read it... you can't unremember it!

The Hugo thread was one of my all time favourites, totally bonkers. Makes me laugh even thinking about it.

I don't know why you find it unbelievable, it's totally the sort of thing my DH would do (and has done similar!)

I think one of the first MN threads I read was about the woman who had gorgotten to put her bikini bottoms on at a public swimming pool and came out of the changing rooms to her husband mouthing 'I can see your minge' in horror! Is there a .ink to that thread?

Also, I think a post about worms and treating them with garlic cloves inserted....I think that was the user bupcakesandcunting Loved that username - it was when heavily decorated cupcakes and jojomamabebe bunting had really taken off! Wonder if that user is still here?