What's the most bonkers thread you've read on here?

[passioninthisworld]

I've been on Mumsnet for around 10 years now, I have read some crazy threads.

I'm lying in bed hungover and looking for some stories to brighten up my shameful Saturday afternoon.

If anyone wants to share it would be greatly appreciated

The center parcs thread. "Take it up the arse at Center Parcs" had me absolutely howling

I have not seen this one,but I am both sniggering and panicking !
Did she escape the jumpsuit ? Was she needing the loo? are seasalt jumpsuits notoriously hard to get out of? Has this ordeal left her with claustrophobia?
So many questions 😂

The wonderful, wonderful thread about the elderly Asian lady in the OP’s garden. So utterly bonkers and heartwarming. Sometimes it pops into my head and I laugh out loud!

A Mum who was upset because her DS was not allowed to bowl in an adult cricket game because she thought everyone should get a turn. Not that long ago.

Here's the worms thread that is the earliest one I recall - a mixture of horror and laughter. MN was brilliant in those days!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/general_health/781973-What-can-I-stick-up-my-bum-tonight-to-keep?page=3

A nd was it the user LaQueen whose husband lost a car in London?!

I find the Harry & Meghan ones insane, people are so obsessed with them it's really bizarre

A thread about a table decoration at a wedding, that was a wishing well with a real bell. The wedding couple had written a poem in the invitation about guests ringing the bell (with a minimum amount of money) instead of giving gifts. A number of people speculated with poems in return, one with the line "And ring, not the bell, but your very brass neck." Also someone considering going into business making suitable decorations in this line, including a giant pair of grasping ceramic hands.

Was that the same couple with a wishing well for money gifts at their wedding, where the bride positioned herself next to it, fished out and opened every envelope the instant it was deposited, and then loudly berated the giver if she believed they could have afforded to give more?!

There was also another one I remember where the happy couple wrote to people who had given money soon after the honeymoon, but instead of them being thank you notes, they were stern 'invitations' to 'top up your contribution' if they couple believed that they hadn't given enough, based on their (perceived) personal financial circumstances!

The center parcs thread. "Take it up the arse at Center Parcs" had me absolutely howling

And the one about 'being taken up the Oxo Tower'!

Trolls aren't stupid

Oh come on. So not an accident typing that

Wedding ones are great. Anyone else remember the wedding favours one? At one wedding the guests got a wooden spoon with the couple's names burnt onto them. There was all sorts of tat, but the best one was the couple had made brown sauce and gave everyone a tiny jar 😂!

I never understand the dogged determination from troll-hunters baying for some brilliant threads to be deleted, when it's found/suspected that they aren't actually true - even though there's no nastiness, nothing underhand or malicious, nothing upsetting or goady about them at all; just a wonderfully hilariously silly and bizarre thread that makes your day.

Some people were like that about the 'Sean, Daniel or Balonz' thread - like it actually mattered that it was all made up for a (fantastic) laugh. I'm guessing the complainers were mostly from Surrey....

Tinydancer and the save the date for a wedding only to find out she wasn't invited but expected to do the decorations

The most shocking thread I’ve ever seen on here (was years ago) where a young, immature woman had been dumped by her boyfriend for someone else, and she was angry he was quickly sharing photos of himself and the new girlfriend on social media.

She wanted to get revenge on him and an equally immature poster (total stranger to the OP) offered to spread false rumours about him online saying he was a closet paedophile! Which she agreed to and thought would be hilarious!!

You could tell from the interaction between them in the posts that they’d exchanged his Facebook profile details by PM. Myself and other posters argued with them about how awful their plans were and it took aaaaages for admin to delete the thread (days). I really hope they never actually did it and I felt so sorry for the ex-boyfriend.

Sammich, yes?

The thread where I learned that people are scared of the deadly sci-fi rays emitted by microwave ovens. One person said they accidentally left something (teabags, I think?) on the top of their microwave, and threw them away in case they were now dangerous. It was her own microwave she presumably uses to heat food that she eats. Genuinely baffling.

@CoreyTaylorsSoggyTshirt That was this one
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/mumsnet_classics/1618285-Whats-the-most-pretentious-thing-youve-ever-heard-someone-say-lighthearted

I think this one about opening cards before Christmas should be on this thread too.
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4103454-AIBU-to-open-Christmas-cards-before-Christmas-day

Scottishbloke, representing BabeTV (he claimed...), arriving to answer all our questions and offer reassurance

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/in_the_news/1424148-Hi-I-represent-the-Sky-Freeview-Babe-Shows-and-their-viewers?page=1

@TattiePants That was this https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/style_and_beauty/3050358-Things-you-really-want-to-wear-but-just-dont-suit-you?latest=0

The sadly deleted ‘I’m Angela Hernandez’ thread had me in stitches. Proper laughing.

Thank you - the genesis of artisanal slippers. Was there ever a more wanky phrase?

Sincerely really bothered by this one... Christmas cards are for Christmas day? Has my life been one big lie?! Like, generic in the post, cost more to post than the card itself ones, fine, but from my mum, my grand parents, DP etc? They are for Christmas day with the associated pressie! I'm genuinely not sure what life is anymore. I'm going to have a lie down.

HAMwich

I don't really remember many until I re-read them or see them on threads like this. Although I do remember the start of a comment that made me laugh hysterically where someone was describing something someone had done to them and said "we'll call her Louise, because that's her name". I have NO IDEA why I thought that was so funny?!

I AM CANADIAN - The OP was planning on moving to Canada despite knowing nothing about the country and was frankly being a complete arse. She was arguing with another poster and accused them of knowing nothing about Canada. The other poster was Canadian!

I've read that thread more than once and never got why people thought that was funny - it was an argument about Canadian Visa rules, not just about Canada. I mean, I'm English but I don't know anything about English immigration!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4339095-DH-charged-me-for-Steak-but-Im-a-Veggie?page=1

The husband who cooked a steak for the beautician during a mobile home visit for a massage !

FatherHackett, it was the 2nd one you mention, I think. The couple had written back to everyone after the wedding but instead of an agenda-free thank-you, the poem was something like 'We don't think everyone rang the bell" - i.e. you don't get away without giving your due even though it's 2 weeks later.