My wedding rings are missing and I think my child gave them to a friend

[threeisacharm18]

Long and short of it is - my DC and her friend were playing in my house. They went up to my bedroom where my rings are normally on the nightstand.

Next day I noticed they were missing. I asked DC if she had given my rings to her friend . She said no.

When her friend was leaving she tried to give her a wind chime which I'd discouraged.

Previously D.C. friend had taken an inconsequential item from her house and given it to my dc which I gave back to the mum.

I know my dc has an active imagination and often makes up stories and is susceptible to suggestion. She's 5. Anyway I thought I'd leave it for a day or two and ask her to talk me through the day when her friend came over. And I asked again did she give my rings to her friend and this time she said yes.

Again because she's not always truthful I left it for a day or so and then today I asked her to talk me through the day her friend came.
She told me they found some rings and that she gave them to her friend. I asked her if she gave anything else to the friend and she said she gave the friend a teddy bear which talks. She does have a talking teddy but it's not the colour she told me. However there is a missing teddy among her toys.

So now I have an unreliable child witness and missing personal item.

I need to ask the mum of this child but I don't want to come across as accusatory.

What would you do?

definitely explain to the other mum and ask her to have a look for the rings and question her dd!

Ummm..... just ask the parents for the rings back that have obviously been taken by the 5 year olds!!

Exactly what@truthhurts23 said.

I would stop wasting your time talking to your DD, ring the other mum and say your child gifted your wedding rings to her child, could she please have a look before they get lost? I’m sure she will laugh it off and help you look for them.

Just ask the other mum , it’s not like you are accusing her child of stealing .

I dont understand why you're wasting so much time & effort questioning a 5 year old.

Speak to her friends mum. You're not sounding accusatory if you're saying you think your daughter gave her them

I'd call the mum and ask if her child has your rings.

Explain that your DD has told you she gave them to her as a gift without understanding the sentimental value of the items, value and that's it's wrong to give other peoples belongings away.

I'd hope most people in that situation would want to help you get your rings back.

That said, you really need to think about an appropriate parenting response.

This is not a small thing.

At that age my child would not have given other peoples property away. Nor would they lie.

It's not a product of an active imagination

• I'd suggest a lack of consequence?

It certainly wouldn't have taken me "a day or two" to get to the bottom of the matter.

I would Spk to the mum first thing in the morning, don’t delay or the rings may get lost or ‘gifted’ to another child.

Thanks everyone . It's just that if she had then surely she'd say so by now?

And No definitely not accusing her child.
Okay I'll ask in the morning. Maybe before school while it's fresh

It's just that if she had then surely she'd say so by now

If her daughter has them they're probably lying around somewhere because she's already forgotten about them or hidden them with other treasures 😊

The child might not have told the mum she'd been given them.

Put them in a toy box or similar.

If given by your child then the idea they are worth something probably hasn't occurred to the child or mother.

I really think you're over thinking it, I wouldn't blink if a parent said to me 'getting a garbled version off 5 but think my 5yo gave yours my wedding rings when they were playing!! Have you seen them at all, would you mind asking her if she knows where they are x'

Ask mum to have a look around for them. I found a mums passport in a bookbag once. Apparently the children decided they needed a baby sized book for the dolls. They had swiped it and then forgotten about it.

If a fiery flashing diamond turned up at my house with a hallmark, I'd be very suspicious!
A kid's 'cracker' ring is very different to an engagement/wedding ring- I hope to goodness you get these back, @threeisacharm18 .

Ask the other mother. Why is it so difficult?

I think my child gave your child our wedding rings, can you please check

This isn't that unusual and it isn't seen by them as stealing - it is sharing or giving a gift. As a school counselor, I followed up on many phone calls "Would you check Child A's book bag for my (ring, car keys, wallet, etc.?) Once had to phone a parent and ask "Did you know your daughter (12 year old) walked to school in a full-length white satin wedding dress?" You likely heard the scream in the UK. Mother did not know and the dress was the older sister's and the wedding had not happened yet. Younger sister just wanted to share the beauty of the dress with her friends who didn't believe she was in the wedding.

This happened to my friend's 5 year old DD. Her 'boyfriend' gave her a sparkly ring because they were going to get married!

Friend had no idea until the 'boyfriend's' mum asked if she'd seen her engagement ring. It was found in the back of the car!

Just ask the kid's mum.

I had a five year old in my class who took cash from parents bedroom and passed it out to children at school. It was quite a bit of money, set aside for their rent!

I wouldn't wait. Call the other mum now. The longer you wait, the greater the chance the rings will get put into a toy dollhouse or dropped down a toilet or shoved into a DVD player or whatever other thing the five year old thinks to do with shiny things.

If you happen to be awake @threeisacharm18 at the moment please don't call the other child's mum right now, as suggested by @aloris!

But if at all possible, do speak to her tomorrow before school (as you suggested). Can I also suggest that you don't sound at all unsure to the mum (or dad of course) about whether your DD did give the rings to her DD, you could say something along the lines of
"When your DD came over to play at ours the other day my DD gave your DD my wedding rings, not realising of course how important they are! I didn't realise until the following day that they were missing from their normal place in my bedroom, and I forgot that Sally and Sue had played in there for a little bit the day before, so I searched the house high and low but couldn't find them. Then yesterday I suddenly remembered that Sally and Sue had been in there, and that they liked to give each other presents, so I asked Sally if she had seen some pretty rings in my room and given them to Sue, and she told me that she had, so I'm really sorry to be a nuisance, but could you please ask Sue if she still has them, and if she can't remember them, would you mind very much having a look for them yourself?"
Good luck OP, I really hope you get them back!

Oh hahaha. Sorry. 3 am there.

My friend’s dc decided to supplement their pocket money so took a few toys and mum’s diamond engagement ring to the local playground and held a 50p per item sale. ( parents got the ring back as luckily dc remembered who bought it)

A bit older than 5, my “boyfriend” gave me a ring with a sparkly green stone and a small teddy bear. I put the ring on the bears arm and forgot all about it.
Years later my mum sorted through an old box of stuffed toys and found it. She could tell it was obviously valuable and we returned it to the boys mum. Turned out to have been a family heirloom and fairly valuable ring that she had been besides herself the whole time thinking she had lost it.

Definitely ring and ask for them back.

And make your bedroom off limits.

That's wonderful. Poor mum and older sister.

OP

It's not new, at the start of WWII my Nana bought a shoebox full of chocolate to give to my dad a bar on his birthday or at Xmas.

My dad found it and 'played shop keeper' by handing it out to the children on the street.