To be put out that my friend is asking me to pay her money?

[Sundaycoffee]

I was given a very nice perk through work for myself and a plus one for an all expenses paid trip, it included hotel, all food and drink and entertainment for the value of £400 per person and I chose to take a particualr friend. My friend kindly drove us there and back (Bristol to London). She text me today asking me to transfer her half of the petrol money for the trip (£20)
AIBU to think if someone had done the same for me I would let the petrol money slide?

Its possible she over-spent on the merch and is now trying to claw back money from you.

I would stand my ground. Not your problem.

The df had a lovely weekend she wouldn't have had otherwise.
In this case sometimes it's nice to be nice .

I'm definitely going to get my mum to join mumsnet. She's 74, and she does sometimes get bored (in between lunch dates and holidays) and posts random shit on Facebook.

She'd be way more use on here. She'd not only be picking people up on manners, she'd be in her element correcting all the grammar mistakes such as "could of" and double negatives. Unfortunately, she won't be able to correct pronunciation as she can't hear that. But anyone who writes "innit" will rue the day they were born 🤣🤣🤣

Did you only ask this because you're determined to put the worst possible spin on people's motives?

Agree.

The trip cost you nothing.

I like this reply 👌

😆

It's definitely worth removing a friend for being a tight-fisted, rude, ungrateful arsehole, yes. Who needs friends like that?

This!

@Sundaycoffee

Honestly, next time you get a perk, invite me. I live nowhere near Bristol, but I'll drive 400 miles to pick you up, drive us both to the lovely FREE weekend away including concert tickets, buy you a tshirt from the merch stand to say thank you, and I'd also turn up with a bottle of something nice for the room.

Tbh I probably would transfer the 20 quid without comment, but never, ever invite her again. I'd hazard a guess here that you are the more generous friend and are frequently "first to the bar". I'm a firm believer in the phrase "mean with money, mean with love". I absolutely hate meanness, it's such an unattractive trait in either friends or partners.

meh, i think i'd just give the £20 petrol and not make a big fuss over a small amount. i don't have my licence yet and i've been driven around many times by very kind friends & family. i always offer petrol money. it doesn't really matter to me what we're doing, who suggested it etc. perhaps consider her effort in driving you a thanks for the trip instead of the money itself

Personally, I don't ask anyone to drive me anywhere without expecting to, and offering upfront to, pay for petrol. But that's just me.

Personally, I wouldn't dream of accepting a free weekend away without offering to contribute something (transport, dinner, etc) as a proper thank you. But that's just me.

Changing what I said with the update. If she bought merchandise then she isn’t hard up. She’s a cheeky fucker for sure!

Same.

And it would be interesting to note out of the posters on either side of the debate, how many actually get invited to these free events. Or a repeat invite.

Your friend does not appreciate you
I wouldn't hesitate to pay for fuel to show my gratitude
YANBU

Surely you also wouldn't except a free hotel stay with food and alcohol without offering something in return though? If the friend didn't want to do that she should have said in advance that she expected OP to pay half the petrol costs so OP could have considered whether she really wanted the friend to go with her. She might have preferred to invite someone more appreciative.

LOL, come to think of it, neither would I. But, then, that's us. And I had rather misread the initial post that a THIRD friend had driven them, which changes things considerably. DO NOT have a stroke! Your brain is never quite right again, and you sometime miss the smaller details!

See my answer to @StarbucksSmarterSister . I had an attack of strokebrain!

Great. When's she coming? Mumsnet needs her.

I think this has to take the prize for cheeky fuckery!

I “used to” have a friend like this, shared my modest holiday home with her for over 30 years.

Even let her use it occasionally with friends & family for free.

Cooked meals for us because she rarely had money to eat out, occasionally fish & chips, we paid for our own.

She knew that I had to pay council tax, ground rent, club fees, water, electricity etc.
We shared the cost of petrol for years, each taking turns driving, with our own cars.

Then on our last trip a couple of years ago when I drove she complained about having to contribute half towards the petrol.
As my car wasn’t as “fuel efficient” as hers!
Needless to say, that was our last trip there together.

You try to bend over backwards to be a nice person and to do nice things for friends but then suddenly you realise what a mug you’re being taken for.

Your “friend” really is taking the piss by asking for the £20, she’s an ungrateful cow.

I’d definitely ask her if she was joking after you gifting her such a generous weekend away.

I'm all over this.

To be honest, it will take the heat off me. I love her to bits, and I'm sure I'll miss her relentless criticism when she's no longer with us, but in the meantime I'm gonna share the love 🤣

Did this really cost the OP nothing?

Maybe the company are going to put it on a PSA, gross-up and pay the tax.

Or, maybe, it's going to go on the OP's P11d, and she's going to pay tax on that £400 value.

Let's assume the OP is going to pay an additional £80 of tax through their tax code.

So... the friend owes the OP £60.

I’m undecided whether your friend is ungrateful or downright cheeky.

I would be tempted to ignore her text. If she texts again - or says anything - say you honestly thought she was joking, especially after you had shared your hard-earned perk with her.