To be put out that my friend is asking me to pay her money?

[Sundaycoffee]

I was given a very nice perk through work for myself and a plus one for an all expenses paid trip, it included hotel, all food and drink and entertainment for the value of £400 per person and I chose to take a particualr friend. My friend kindly drove us there and back (Bristol to London). She text me today asking me to transfer her half of the petrol money for the trip (£20)
AIBU to think if someone had done the same for me I would let the petrol money slide?

What’s the better gift - a weekend away or £20 of petrol?

OP didn't mention that cost to her friend , she just quietly took that expense on, and it will be much more than the petrol cost. She was 'first to offer a luxury weekend, last to mention the tax bill '.

That cost would have been there had she taken her friend or not though? The petrol cost for the friend was only there as she was invited.

Are you serious ChrisPP? Or are you just looking for posts for an article ?

The friend went on the weekend and therefore directly benefited from the OP's increased tax bill. Had OP taken a different friend/her sister/ her mother - they would have . And its a pity OP didn't because someone different would probably have appreciated OP's generous gesture enough not to tactlessly request petrol money by text later.

Would anyone actually accept a park from work that is a £800 value hotel/food etc but have to pay £300 or so in tax for it?

The only way I'd ever accept that was it it was only way to see say Beyoncé (sold out tickets) and the tax cost was about what I'd pay for those tickets.

Maybe if I was already planning on taking husband for a weekend to London.

But I would not just take the perk and then look around for someone to take with me if it was going up cost me £300 in tax

Would anyone here actually do that? (Hence I really think there is no tax consequences here)

(Part of me assumes this is just a planted thread to get stories for daily mail etc as the op never came back)

I'm not a journalist. I have no skin in the game here. I don't know what your problem is with me. I would pay petrol for someone who's driving me, no matter who they were (not dh though as all finances are shared anyway).

I've previously said asking for the money would not be necessary as I'd have offered. I do agree a demand by text is shoddy.

You seem very invested - are you the op sock puppeting?

Lol. No, I'm not the OP. No, I don't have a problem with you ChrisPP, I replied to you only after you mentioned me in your post. We clearly don't agree on this though. Let's not derail the thread for the OP, she may still be deciding what is fair to do in this situation.

Yea , where is the op . Would be interesting to hear what her decision was .

Not really because OP could have driven herself. She would never have needed an Uber.

And for those saying should her friend have had to pay for the OP's train ticket if they'd travelled by train, all I can say is that if my friend had gifted me a weekend away like that, not only would I have been insisting on paying for her train ticket, I would have also brought along a bottle of Prosecco for the trip, paid for lunch on the train and maybe bought her a little thank you gift afterwards (depending on the cost of the train tickets).

What miserly, tight-fisted, ungrateful, sponging, dick-wad sends a text asking for £20 petrol money? An ex-friend, that's who.

The holiday cost the OP zero because it was HER treat which she was given because she had worked hard

It seems to me that the OPs guest, being given a treat which she DIDN'T work hard for, would pay for any extraneous costs as a thankyou to the OP

So..... guest pays for petrol whichever car they used to drive there.

Well put, Ladybug14.

Well yes, a lot of people who use Ubers could drive themselves. That’s what you’re paying for - to be driven. So you can have a drink or save having to drive yourself. I don’t think they are solely used by those who don’t drive.
People who are saying that the friend has only contributed their own share of petrol are dismissing the ballache of driving a return trip from Bristol to London imo. The op could have driven herself but she didn’t so what she would have done in another scenario that didn’t happen isn’t really relevant.
I’m just making the point that if you’re going to put a market value on the weekend away - which I’m sure the op’s workplace has some kind of deal on if this is a perk they offer staff - then why not consider the market value of being driven to London and back?

Some of the responses on these posts never cease to amuse me.
There are really people out there who believe asking for £20 after a free weekend (which OP has put in the work for) is somehow acceptable? If this was really justifiable, the 'friend' would have said 'Happy to drive but money's really tight and the moment, would you mind contributing to fuel?' It's these people who take the goodies then show their true colours afterwards, and those who think that's okay, who we can see waving the 'avoid me like the plague' red flag.

Nothing had happened to balance it up? You don't think the petrol might have been balanced up by £400-worth of jollies over the weekend?

Just wondering, when you say a perk from work? Do you mean you didn't pay for this trip either? 🤔

I do agree that she offered to drive so she shouldn't have really asked for money for fuel, or at least have said it beforehand.

But if this is a trip your job has paid for what is the big deal really? At the end of the day, you don't give to receive, nobody knows how others are struggling, Its 20 quid, don't let it ruin a friendship.

Doesnt that go both ways? The op presumably worked really hard for this and allowed the friend to benefit from that work. Driving is a fair trade off.

I like your analogy - it could also be "I normally spend £x on my friend for her birthday. I won a top of the range TV in a competition but, as I didn't need it, I offered it to my friend, whose birthday was coming up. She accepted it, but on her birthday was grumbling that I hadn't got her a present as well". In my family we often regift duplicates, but I imagine a lot of people here saying "You got it for free, of course you should still pay the same for a present for your friend."

Definitely this. The cheek of some people.

I agree with you completely, just one little correction, it was the value of £400/person! So she should give her £400! 😝

You keep resurrecting old threads. I expect all these things have been resolved

@Sundaycoffee you chose to offer her to come along to a free trip? I don’t think she is cheeky for asking half the petrol money tbh considering she did all the driving. Completely unfair to not pay anything yourself and then expect your friend to lay out the expenses of getting there for your own perk?

yes she benefited by going along, but realistically driving can be tiring..
nobody can really call her a cheeky fucker and you can’t really say to her “good one you owe me about £200 for the nice trip bla bla bla” because you didn’t pay anything?

yes your hard work earnt you that, her driving also got you to and from the trip? You invited her along and have also said her car is made more for going along the motorway than yours, so effectively she’s saved you the wear and tear on your car aswell.

send her the £20, don’t tarnish a friendship when you both did something nice for each other. If you was driving yourself you’d expect to fill up your car, don’t see why this is any different tbh.

just realised how old the thread is! Ffs my bad.

I like updates on old threads but no one ever seems to come back with what happened in the end.