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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go round to neighbours in the morning?

224 replies

MonkeyDoodles · 09/06/2023 22:45

Because I have totally had enough.
Next door neighbours just had a loud party from 5.30PM to only now just finishing up. Loud screeching and screaming from the kids, hot tub and all the noise that comes from that, DIY also done in the middle of it all. My whole evening has been a write off because of them.
This is constant. Kids range from 4 years to 10 years and scream and holler to each other constantly for hours on end. My other family members don't want to confront them as are worried about causing an argument but I honestly feel it is having a massive impact on my mental health. Aibu to go round there and tell them it's not on even if my family disagree? It is actually unbearable and causing a lot of arguments in my own home.

OP posts:
LifeIsPainHighness · 09/06/2023 22:46

Hmm I don’t think a 5 hour party starting at 5pm and ending at 10.30pm on a Friday is all that bad

JandalsAlways · 09/06/2023 22:47

Go around later and have a calm conversation with them and explain the impact. Hopefully they'll have some sympathy. Don't have a screaming match just yet as that is likely to make it worse as obviously they're selfish assholes

Original poster
MonkeyDoodles · 09/06/2023 22:48

As I said, it's everyday but today was particularly horrendous.
I went into another room, closed all the doors, and could still hear them.
It's getting ridiculous now, the level of noise is absurd. They seem to take pleasure in making as much racket as possible.

OP posts:
Lilbunnyfufu · 09/06/2023 22:50

LifeIsPainHighness · 09/06/2023 22:46

Hmm I don’t think a 5 hour party starting at 5pm and ending at 10.30pm on a Friday is all that bad

I agree.
Even in my tenancy agreement it's says we can play music until 11pm

LifeIsPainHighness · 09/06/2023 22:51

Maybe just nip round and say “If you have a party could you give a bit of notice so we can expect the noise”.

Icanbringmyselfflowers · 09/06/2023 22:52

They have a party every night?

Original poster
MonkeyDoodles · 09/06/2023 22:53

Again, this is not a one off, far from it. They are like this everyday. Today was just particularly unbearable with the screaming and screeching with kids in the hot tub yelling at 10PM. Like I said, it's everyday in some form. We can't enjoy our garden anymore due to the noise.

OP posts:
Talkwhilstyouwalk · 09/06/2023 22:53

LifeIsPainHighness · 09/06/2023 22:46

Hmm I don’t think a 5 hour party starting at 5pm and ending at 10.30pm on a Friday is all that bad

Neither do I.

Fiddlerdragon · 09/06/2023 22:54

LifeIsPainHighness · 09/06/2023 22:51

Maybe just nip round and say “If you have a party could you give a bit of notice so we can expect the noise”.

And then what? The op still has to hear the noise even if they prewarn her. She says it’s every night

Original poster
MonkeyDoodles · 09/06/2023 22:55

People clearly aren't reading my OP or are being deliberately obtuse. Either that or they are the sort who let their kids holler and scream in the garden every single day with no thought for the neighbours.

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 09/06/2023 22:56

They stopped before 11 and it's a Friday night.
Unless you move to the country you'll always have to put up with neighbours and what comes with them.

Go around to them by all means but they're probably not going to stop how they live every day just to suit you.

RudsyFarmer · 09/06/2023 22:57

You are not going to stop it. They’ve turned their garden into a social space with entertainment such as a hot tub. It’s not considered anti-social legally for them to use this space so you talking to them will do precisely nothing but cause a bad atmosphere. Which is why your family members are urging you not to.

SummerLover01 · 09/06/2023 22:57

If you want peace and quiet move somewhere without neighbours.

Sorry OP but you're the one being unreasonable here

They're kids, using their garden in the summer. Not really sure why you can't understand this.....

Notimeforaname · 09/06/2023 22:58

Either that or they are the sort who let their kids holler and scream in the garden every single day with no thought for the neighbours.

Yes, I too hear this sound all around me, every day now because its summer..kids play outside, kids scream.

You cannot get that to stop... unless you stand out there all day correcting the children every single time they get too loud for you.

Its their life too.

Notimeforaname · 09/06/2023 22:59

It’s not considered anti-social legally for them to use this space so you talking to them will do precisely nothing but cause a bad atmosphere. Which is why your family members are urging you not to.

This , op.

Remaker · 09/06/2023 22:59

I would keep your powder dry on this one OP. You’ve actually got nothing to complain about when it’s a Friday night and finished before 11. If you actually want to achieve something other than just shouting at them because you’re fed up, don’t choose a time when what they did was actually perfectly reasonable. Go round when it’s mid week or they’re still going at midnight. Otherwise they’ll just decide you’re unreasonable.

Fiddlerdragon · 09/06/2023 23:01

MonkeyDoodles · 09/06/2023 22:53

Again, this is not a one off, far from it. They are like this everyday. Today was just particularly unbearable with the screaming and screeching with kids in the hot tub yelling at 10PM. Like I said, it's everyday in some form. We can't enjoy our garden anymore due to the noise.

I think this is either a case of changing your mindset or just moving op. I live on the edge of a huge housing estate. Next door to the left is a dogs trust rescue, the dogs bark 24/7. To the right is a man who runs a car body service from his driveway, he has machines going from 8am up until it’s dark. Tonight he stopped at around quarter to 10. Across the road from me is a redrow housing development so have had building work going on for 10 months now, there’s around 60 houses going up. I’m less than 2 miles from an airport and there’s planes flying over my house every couple minutes. I can’t even imagine living somewhere and expecting silence and being annoyed there’s kids playing next door

Regholdsworthswaterbed · 09/06/2023 23:03

The law says you are unreasonable but I do feel for you. They are not breaking any laws though so it really depends if they are reasonable people or not OP. I have never let my kids scream and screech in the garden. It annoys me let alone people who aren't their parent. It's not just playing and laughing, which is lovely it's the screaming at nothing that does it. Totally unacceptable.

Ontheperiphery79 · 09/06/2023 23:04

I feel for you, OP, but, nope, I wouldn't go round there in the morning.
Have you tried noise cancelling headphones/in ear plugs?

catscalledbeanz · 09/06/2023 23:05

Sorry op, but people are reading your posts its just they disagree with you. I HATE the sound of shouting and screeching and personally avoid the garden all summer not because of any direct neighbors but rather because it's the sound of British summer time. The thwump thwump of awful music, kids screaming and shouting, uncouth arseholes hollering back and forth from inside to outside their homes, rowdy drinking men (and women) and packs of teens shrieking and playing shit tinny music on their phones. Cackling laughter, crying children, all of it. I hate the sounds. But it's my problem no one else's. Try to learn to enjoy the garden in the autumn and winter. The sounds are less intrusive.

Grumpigal · 09/06/2023 23:05

You could go round and try and be diplomatic but given that they clearly don’t give two shiny shits about other people then they might not be receptive to a polite “please can you reign it in”

id be tempted to start drilling and hoovering with the radio at 6am. Although if they’ve got young kids there is a chance they are already up at this time anyway so won’t be “disturbed” - I’d still be tempted to do it though.

Sorry don’t have a solution, I agree it’s super ignorant and uncivilised to let your kids scream and holler in the back garden night after night. Occasionally of course but not every single day. It’s so inconsiderate

In the mean time have you got any earplugs, you can get a type which don’t totally stop sound but massively decrease background noise. You’d still be able to see someone talking to you in the room but it takes the edge off the harsh loud noises - might be worth looking into if you find it really hard on your mental health

TheLostNights · 09/06/2023 23:06

Clearly it's not acceptable if they are hollering and shouting 🙄. I have the same issue and it is unbearable. We have had to get the council involved and are currently keeping log books.
It's one thing children playing and laughing but it's another if they are screaming and hollering (Yes, I know what you mean). Like you, it was everyday and causing huge problems between me and DH and our enjoyment of the house and garden.
Some people are just incredibly selfish. Everyone has a right to enjoy their home, not just them. The kids shouldn't be screaming either. They are not babies and need to learn social skills and consideration for others. Otherwise they will turn into extremely selfish and entitled adults.

Houseplantmad · 09/06/2023 23:08

Have you got a dart or two you could aim at the hot tub when they’re not there?

Hearttraeh · 09/06/2023 23:08

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at OP's request

thaegumathteth · 09/06/2023 23:08

Do they make as much noise in winter? Is the hot tub a permanent thing?

Tbh I wouldn't go round because you seem irate and your mentioning of a party only just finishing now makes you sound irrational. It's 1030 on a Friday night.

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