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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go round to neighbours in the morning?

224 replies

MonkeyDoodles · 09/06/2023 22:45

Because I have totally had enough.
Next door neighbours just had a loud party from 5.30PM to only now just finishing up. Loud screeching and screaming from the kids, hot tub and all the noise that comes from that, DIY also done in the middle of it all. My whole evening has been a write off because of them.
This is constant. Kids range from 4 years to 10 years and scream and holler to each other constantly for hours on end. My other family members don't want to confront them as are worried about causing an argument but I honestly feel it is having a massive impact on my mental health. Aibu to go round there and tell them it's not on even if my family disagree? It is actually unbearable and causing a lot of arguments in my own home.

OP posts:
Butchyrestingface · 10/06/2023 07:26

Either that or they are the sort who let their kids holler and scream in the garden every single day with no thought for the neighbours.

They're not going to change. As far as they're concerned, they're just living their lives. You're not going to improve this situation by complaining but you could make it worse.

When I had noise pollution issues, albeit of a different type, I (eventually) moved. Just kick myself that I hadn't done it much sooner.

Mindymomo · 10/06/2023 07:26

I do feel sorry for you, every night. I had neighbours whose children and grandchildren were like this, shouting and screaming all the time, but they didn’t live here, so we did get some peace when they would all go home. They’ve moved a couple of streets away now and the new people that have moved in are DIY’ers so we now have constant work going on. Best of luck having a word, I doubt they would do anything about the children, but doing DIY maybe they could stick to daytime for that.

MissCrowley · 10/06/2023 07:27

As a one off- acceptable, every day then absolutely not.
I really sympathise. I've lived next door to noisy neighbours and it caused me so much anxiety.

I'd go round and have a word to be honest. Everyone should have quiet enjoyment of their own home.

Butchyrestingface · 10/06/2023 07:28

It can be changed if the OP persists down the legal route but it takes time.

If she owns her property, she'll need to declare this when trying to sell in the future. Sad

AgnesX · 10/06/2023 07:28

MonkeyDoodles · 09/06/2023 22:48

As I said, it's everyday but today was particularly horrendous.
I went into another room, closed all the doors, and could still hear them.
It's getting ridiculous now, the level of noise is absurd. They seem to take pleasure in making as much racket as possible.

If it's every day, I doubt any conversation will a) go well or b) achieve anything, regardless of time. Just keep your fingers crossed it'll rain soon.

It's hard, I feel for you.

CremeEgg1983 · 10/06/2023 07:29

Butchyrestingface · 10/06/2023 07:28

It can be changed if the OP persists down the legal route but it takes time.

If she owns her property, she'll need to declare this when trying to sell in the future. Sad

She would yes. But I don't know if she owns or rents.

OttoGraph · 10/06/2023 07:31

Is it the screaming and screeching that is the most annoying? If so go and explain you appreciate they are noisy after 11 but could they tame the screeching and screaming, the other noise isn’t great but it’s not as bad as screaming high pitched

but of consideration and compromise from both parties

WalterWitty · 10/06/2023 07:33

I actually sympathise with OP. At our last house there was a family whose house backed onto our garden (next street) and did the exact same. They’d have family over and all be in their hot tub drinking, kids would be screaming and the adults would be shouting to one another in conversation (I imagine to hear over the hot tub and shit music they were playing at a booming level)

this went on a lot and when you need to have your windows open due to the heat and have to get up for work at 5:30 it’s a living hell.

We moved thankfully, but if that’s not an option I’d suggest earplugs. People who do this do not have consideration for others and won’t change their ways I’m afraid…

Fuckthatguy · 10/06/2023 07:37

This is a statutory nuisance OP and YANBU.

They sound ferrel and their children are being raised with an absolute lack of consideration for anyone.

I can’t bear parents who allow their children to scream, it’s just not necessary.

I’d sent them a cease and desist letter if I was subjected to this shit on a daily basis but you should go with the loud speaker / terrible music idea. Fight fire with fire, exhausting of course and I really feel for you.

LolaSmiles · 10/06/2023 07:39

Well it's hard to say isn't it? One person's 'screeching' is another person's 'kids playing'. One person's 'music blaring' is another person's 'listening to music'. One person's 'late' is another person's 'early'.
One person's 'noisy DIY' is another person's 'getting jobs done'.

Agree with this.

Most people have common sense and probably have a similar window of reasonableness. Some people are at the two extremes.

I've never bought the idea that children should be allowed to shriek and scream and yell endlessly in their gardens because it's unnecessary. I suspect they probably also yell in the house and the house is full of people shouting to be heard. But some people are also oddly sensitive to the fact children playing might make some noise and get very uptight about it.

ReformedWaywardTeen · 10/06/2023 07:40

I would love the two homes opposite me to finish at 10.45.

Generally they start up about 10pm, and carry on until 4am.

10.45 would be bliss

Tiktaktoo · 10/06/2023 07:41

I fail to see how your evening has been a write off because they’re making noise. If they were stopping you from sleeping in the middle of the night I’d understand but noise in the daytime and evening doesn’t actually prevent anyone from doing anything. Yes it’s annoying but I don’t see how it actually stops you from living your life. Get earplugs/headphones?

Pusillanimouswitch · 10/06/2023 07:41

Who does DIY in the middle of a party?!

TheaBrandt · 10/06/2023 07:44

Urgh utter sympathy. It’s hell having feral idiots as neighbours if you havent experienced it you won’t understand.

We were at a picnic spot once in Devon. About 8 families all with 2 or 3 dcs under 10. Normal pleasant noise levels. I wasn’t even aware of any particular child. Then one family arrived. Absolute mayhem. Adults and children shouting screaming yelling. Gradually all the normal families left. Felt so sorry for their neighbours.

Fuckthatguy · 10/06/2023 07:47

Feral* 🙄

Goldbar · 10/06/2023 07:47

I'd start "doing" some DIY right now. Look up drilling/construction noise on Youtube and play at top volume on a loop.

Fuckthatguy · 10/06/2023 07:48

@TheaBrandt don’t know whether to laugh or cry at the scene you’ve just described.

The screaming/screeching seems so attention seeking in my view.

ClairDeLaLune · 10/06/2023 07:55

Screaming and screeching is completely unnecessary. Kids can enjoy themselves without doing this. They should be taught some basic consideration for other people. I never allowed my kids to do this, it would have done my own head in for starters. YANBU to object to this aspect OP.

OpalescentFly · 10/06/2023 07:56

I think until you've had truly noisy neighbours people don't realise that it's not normal level of noise you're complaining about, and that some levels of noise are unacceptable whatever the time of day or whether it's a one off party etc.

We had recording monitors in our situation which recorded 80 decibels inside our house with doors and windows closed! Still had people saying, "well it is Friday night"

pinkginfizz9 · 10/06/2023 08:06

Kids yelling, people in the hot tub would be classed as normal household nouse

Verystressedsenmum · 10/06/2023 08:13

You could go round and have a word I don’t let my dc scream till 10.30 .
one of my neighbours had a party last night music still on at 4am . I wasn’t too fussed as it’s a Friday but I was annoyed it woke me at 4am . Do what I’m doing op revenge - the lawn mower is going on as soon as I think it’s socially acceptable to my other neighbours . I’ll let dc bounce and scream on his trampoline too which in turn will set next doors dog barking . I only have to peg washing out and he barks . Just make a lot of noise in your garden when they are quiet see if they get the message.

CompletelyOverwhelmedAgain · 10/06/2023 08:17

Do you know the neighbours well? Are they the sort who will take the conversation on board or will they just get defensive and it cause a bad atmosphere?

If it's unlikely to change anything, I wouldn't go round. You could try to put some sound proofing measures in your own home but I guess that won't help the garden noise ... or move?

Also agree that a party 5pm - 10.30pm is not bad, but I understand your point that the noise is not a one off.

Northernsouloldies · 10/06/2023 08:17

A complete fallacy that you can make as much noise up until 11pm and what the fuck does the night of the week come into it. Had an idiot neighbour that always had an excuse, it's Saturday, it could also be any night during the week. Start at 10 n finish 5am.her best excuse was I was doing my cleaning!!!?. Idiots always put their wants ahead of anyone else.as other pp have said unless uve lived it you have no idea.

DeadButDelicious · 10/06/2023 08:40

I'm sorry OP, I know it's annoying, we had neighbours that would have loud parties with teenagers rolling around drunk in the street till all hours of the morning, like 5 or 6am, music thumping away, it was awful and unfortunately confronting them about it only made them worse, the police weren't interested despite it being quite a few underage kids. When it wasn't raging parties it was screaming matches in the street and even domestic violence (the police were interested then fortunately, I called them on more than one occasion and they came straight away) it was just a terrible time.

In our situation they were evicted for being extremely antisocial, we were very close to moving though. If you think that talking to them would make a difference then do so but be prepared for it to not make much difference.

Annon1234 · 10/06/2023 09:01

Sometimes people don’t realise they are being a nuisance as it’s normal noise to them. It’s tricky for them to do anything about it if they aren’t actually aware they are being annoying. We weren’t aware our dog barked when we left the house, until our neighbour exploded at us, but like I said to her we didn’t we didn’t know so couldn’t solve the problem. Maybe just have a word with them as if they see reasonable people they genuinely might not know they are being so loud

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