To be sick to the teeth of bras!

[4plusthehound]

Yesterday I got dd (12) her first bra.

Last week I got one for mum (92).

I am wearing one - I am 57.

Every year of our lives, no matter what stage of that life we are in, from age 12 to when we die the SAME DESIGN is supposed to work.

Mum has the frame of a an elderly lady now- she has shrunk and is a tiny bag of bones. But her breasts are still there, and she needs to hold them in a comfortable way - a bra? The straps really dig into her, the non cotton fabrics are quite rough for skin of that age, the cotton is either extremely thin or sports thick, the elastic is unforgiving and the bloody hooks are on the back - so hard for her to manage all of that.

For me - after thousands of days wearing them I have a "grove" at the end of my collar bone where it meets the shoulder. But also, the heat systems in my body has changed, the fat distribution, everything.

And yet - in the face of all that change BRAS STAY THE SAME.

I am the only one with this problem.

I am SO uncomfortable

If you're so uncomfortable then its likely the wrong size or style for your body shape. Same goes for the other bra wearers. My bras are comfortable but I'm wearing one suited to me (balcony style in a 36GG/H)

I don't wear underwire bras and haven't for years. I wear soft t shirt bras or sometimes no bra!

I really wish I could go with no bra but it is really not possible unfortunately.

I haven’t worn bras for over three years now - if your breasts are small there is absolutely no need for them.

I can’t speak for larger breasts but I do know there are lots of different kinds of bra now - have you experimented?

I can't go without a bra as I get bad under boob sweat if I do

Nonsense.They are all different.

Mum can get bras in soft cotton that fasten at the front. Wide shoulders and back, no straps.
DD can wear little stretchy pull-ons.
You can invest in getting yourself properly fitted.

Just wear a really comfy sports bra

Bin the bras. Just a stretchy crop top. Add some pads to hide the nips if you like. Bras are bullshit.

There is so much choice now tho
Bralettes, skims/spandex type material, diff bra shapes, smooth cup type ones
Boob or bust calculator

You dont have big boobs, do you?

Have a look at Molke. They're pricey, and they take forever to dry when you wash them (because layers of bunched fabric), but they're still much more comfy than regular bras.

It is not so much the size @dementedpixie .

I think part of the issuse is that wearning them day in day out from the age of 12 - having something on your shoulder all the time has an accrued impact over time.

Like - I imagine if we carried backpack day in day out there would be a "consequence".

But it is also the hooks at the back - some are at the front I know but hard to find where I am. So for me with a sore shoulder, and certainly 90+ mum, who does not have flexibility that is a bu=it f a pain and a few other things...😄

Maybe I am a just a grump...

Sadly, when you're top-heavy, you need some pretty serious infrastructure, or you get underboob sweat, and it feels uncomfortable. Plus, you can't do sports.

The right kind is seriously expensive and doesn't last for long, even if you hand wash it carefully.

No sports bra, no matter how good it is, will cope 100% with straps wriggling around in the sweat and heat.

Bras are just one of the many reasons why we have it so much harder than men.

Just a stretchy crop top. That is my past! An think you - you gave me a lovely moment to remeber my younger (flat tummy) self!

Don't you think there must be a few different ways we could create good dressing for our breats?

Is there really only one way - a good way for sure but 60 years worth.

My dd fastens the hooks with the bra back to front and then twists it around to put the straps up. I remember my gran doing the same

Me too.

AND - that is new for me. I only have that chestnut in the last year or so.

They're not all the same design, I can only wear ones that are a similar shape and just know some styles of my size won't ever fit me. Sorry to hear about your mum, that does sound difficult to shop for her too.

have you experimented?

I am in the throes of experimentation now - probably why I am so frustrated.

I just bought one from bradiance. They talk about the same things you mention. It hasn't arrived yet so I can't actually Comment on them but I'm hopeful! It closes at the front, has a wide back and strap, no underwire etc. might be worth a look?

What do you mean by this one? Wide shoulders and back, no straps.

DD is fine as she is 12. I mean for the most part of my life they were fine. This last decade they have been less fine.

I wonder if there could be a different design that would benefit women who go through different stages?

And by different design - I do not mean different fabric choice, different syle like balcony, underwire or not.

I mean - throw it on it's head and is there a different way of doing this ?

Probably not..just musing.

If you are able to do this the bra doesn’t fit properly. Most people wear a band that is too loose. If you’ve got small boobs it’s not a huge issue but the band is where a lot of the support comes from. I’m 34 H and while have big boobs is annoying my bras are v comfortable. No way I could swivel them round though.

I have some ugly but comfy crop top / bralette type things. I do have proper bras with underwire and the like too, but the comfy bralette thingies are great.

Bras really shouldn't dig into your shoulder though. Your back strap should be doing most of the work

I don’t wear them anymore. Got fed up with them. So wear sports bras. I’m now more comfy. Someone said that my boobs will be more saggy. I mean they are now. So not sure they can get more.

Thank you - I will!