To be sick to the teeth of bras!

[4plusthehound]

Yesterday I got dd (12) her first bra.

Last week I got one for mum (92).

I am wearing one - I am 57.

Every year of our lives, no matter what stage of that life we are in, from age 12 to when we die the SAME DESIGN is supposed to work.

Mum has the frame of a an elderly lady now- she has shrunk and is a tiny bag of bones. But her breasts are still there, and she needs to hold them in a comfortable way - a bra? The straps really dig into her, the non cotton fabrics are quite rough for skin of that age, the cotton is either extremely thin or sports thick, the elastic is unforgiving and the bloody hooks are on the back - so hard for her to manage all of that.

For me - after thousands of days wearing them I have a "grove" at the end of my collar bone where it meets the shoulder. But also, the heat systems in my body has changed, the fat distribution, everything.

And yet - in the face of all that change BRAS STAY THE SAME.

I am the only one with this problem.

I am SO uncomfortable

But it is also the hooks at the back - some are at the front I know but hard to find where I am.

but terribly easy to buy online.

https://www.damart.co.uk/c-332285-front-fastening-bra

I'm a 48F, clearly you are not.

I had a bad fungal infection that didn't respond to terbenifine, and my liver protested so had to stop. My GP told me to stop wearing a bra. Sooooooo, 67 and would be in a 36FF, have just stopped.

Apparently it takes 2 years for the muscles to do the job they're supposed to.

Have a practised death-stare and a cold 'my face is up here'. In French. The average Frenchman would have a heart attack in bravissimo.

I've got used to it.

For comfort m and s flexifit bras are good (I’m a 42h), for your mum maybe a post surgery bra or sports that does up it the front?

I am always comparing them to scaffolding.

The strap moves by its' self or I raise an arm and its under my chin.

Yes, I love Molke bras. Can't stand the patterns though, thank God they do some plain ones.

But they are easily the comfiest bra I've ever owned, and I have 28GG boobs so I need some support and Molke provides it!!!

There are millions of bras out there, they are not all the same. I now wear a semi-sports bra with no underwire (not that underwires bothered me, until the wires broke!) and am perfectly comfortable. I find a style that works and stick with it, never had a problem.

As a bigger boobed person, the correct fit and style is a must. So much of your support comes from the band so lots of people wear bigger bands when they actually need smaller bands and bigger cups. Try the boob and bust method to measure or if possible visit an independent lingerie shop for a fitting.

I hear you especially as I'm on the hunt for a decent bra. My choice is extremely limited as I have a huge back but small boobs 😩

YANBU

I have literally never found a comfortable bra. Only ones that are less problematic than others.

Wired? Literally always digs in somewhere, despite professional fittings (twice!). Even if the dig in is 'just' on the breast plate where the wires meet. The one that one of the fitters gave me, the back strap was so incredibly tight (so it could do most the 'lifting') that when I took it off, the resulting purple lines, where the edges cut in, took over two hours to vanish.

Not wired? My boobs move in them so that they are in contact with each other and the resulting heat, sweat (whatever) where they touch causes an uncomfortabke rash that takes two or more weeks to get rid of. That includes Molke and anything like that.

It honestly makes me so grumpy.

I hate wearing bras but it's too uncomfortable for me not to wear one. I've found m&s wireless bras quite comfortable and supportive for me (F cup) but I still whip it off as soon as I'm home.

I do this too. Always have. I can't bend my arms round my back to do it up

I feel like I have tried every m&s bra on and hated them all. I am top heavy and tried ASDA crop tops for working from home, they're so comfy I now wear them out and don't give a stuff 😃

I’m 36D and have lots of comfy bras, providing various degrees of support / uplift.

I bloody hate bras and never wear one at home. I've got about 50 of the bastard things in an effort to find one I don't hate.

I looked at the bradiance one mentioned up thread, everything about it looks good apart from the lace, it looks cheap and scratchy.

I then did a Google search and found these which might suit your mum. Front fastening, cotton, no wires, wide straps and back. I might allow hope to triumph over experience and order some for myself to add to my collection.

www.simplybe.co.uk/shop/p/xb572

Thank you - will do!

@Sissynova I mean in the structure - by and large a strap on each shoulder, around the back and a very definate shape/cut at the armpit side.

I have fairly small breasts so in theory could manage without a bra however, I'd find it really uncomfortable NOT to wear one! I don't find bras uncomfortable at all. I'm never even aware of it. I never understand this thing about women getting home from work and whipping their bras off. Why? Surely if you feel so uncomfortable in a bra then you're not wearing the right size?

@Sissynova - I posted too soon

bras aimed at 12 year olds are totally different to those aimed at 40 year old women, again those aimed at 70 year old women are different,

Different in style yes but the essence of the structure is the same.

By and large, various strengths of elastic at either side of the body near the arms, up from the bust, over each shoulder doen the back to the strap that sits horozontally across the back.

I am not saying that does not work. It does.

I am asking if there would/could also be alternatives to that.

Especially for different stages in a the life cycle of a woman.

The different bras for nursing and pregnancy work brillianty too - but are based on the same structure.

If you don’t want to wear one then don’t, no one is making you but yourself.

At this point in my life it is hard not to wear one. That is easier when young as heat, tacky skin and fat distribution are different. Some women for example get thrush if they do not wear a bra.

f your bra is uncomfortable though it just doesn’t fit, there are so many styles, fabrics etc that there will be one you find comfy.

My bra does fit. It is a really nice fit astually. But it is uncmfortable for all the afroe mentioned reasons. I suspect you are in a younger age range - just you wait young lady!😁😁

If you are getting sore shoulders you are in the wrong size bra!

At least 80% of the support should be coming from the band, not that much from the straps.

And yes I have a bigger bust - currently an F but have been a H. No shoulder pain at all.

I know how you feel OP

Its all very well people saying there are lots of different types around, yes there are but experimenting with different brands is expensive

Ive been measured a number of times, Rigby and Pellar, Bravissimo, a private fitting and M&S. Ive never been able to wear underwired, I have always had a lot of skin and little breast tissue. Mine grew from teen years straight downward, nipples facing the floor, you cant find a bra to compensate for that, any thing I buy has to cope with lots of extra skin now as Ive got older, its like blamange with skin on top.

Im fed up with it because I cant find anything to lift them up or give support. And the straps fall off my shoulder all the time and the back strap dig in and cause welts.

I agree OP. I just wear Gym Shark sports bras most days now. Underwires are hideously uncomfortable and it's really expensive if your shape changes often, which mine does.

I am over bras.

I'm all about the crop tops/bralettes now - if you told me 15 years ago that my small boobs would come in handy I'd never have believed you 🤣

I wore a t shirt with no bra for the first time (well, since a young teen anyway) the other day, at the rip old age of 37. Revolutionary!!

Actually the surgery bra is a great idea - thank you.

The sports bra are too rough. As her muscles and skin are older now, her beasts sit long and flat against her body. Skin gets quite thin at that age - she needs lovely soft things on her body. The straps, both around the back and from the shoulders hurt a bit.

Have you tried a cross your heart bra? I know they are old fashioned but they don't have underwire and the cross keeps your boobs separate.
www.playtex.co.uk/c/cross-your-heart-bra-20320/