Page 8 | To be sick to the teeth of bras!

4plusthehound · 2023-06-06T18:13:07+00:00

Yesterday I got dd (12) her first bra. Last week I got one for mum (92). I am wearing one - I am 57. Every year of our lives, no matter what stage of that life we are in, from age 12 to when we die the SAME DESIGN is supposed to work. Mum has the frame of a an elderly lady now- she has shrunk and is a tiny bag of bones. But her breasts are still there, and she needs to hold them in a comfortable way - a bra? The straps really dig into her, the non cotton fabrics are quite rough for skin of that age, the cotton is either extremely thin or sports thick, the elastic is unforgiving and the bloody hooks are on the back - so hard for her to manage all of that. For me - after thousands of days wearing them I have a "grove" at the end of my collar bone where it meets the shoulder. But also, the heat systems in my body has changed, the fat distribution, everything. And yet - in the face of all that change BRAS STAY THE SAME. I am the only one with this problem. I am SO uncomfortable

Doggymummar · 07/06/2023 16:44

Chocchops72 · 07/06/2023 14:35

Just checked their website and the first thing I see is a recommendation from Susannah Constantine (Trinny & Susannah fame)! That's a good sign, she is very top heavy, like me.

you find they actually do separate your boobs and don't give 'monoboob'?
I'm 36 JJ too.

Show quote history

Yep no mono boob here

IanFromAccounting · 07/06/2023 16:49

Muncha · 07/06/2023 14:50

I've never owned a comfy bra. I can't wear sports tops coz my nipples show through.

Embrace the nips. Why is nipples showing an issue? No one expect men to look like smooth Ken dolls through shirts.

originalglazedsingle · 07/06/2023 16:57

IanFromAccounting · 07/06/2023 16:49

Embrace the nips. Why is nipples showing an issue? No one expect men to look like smooth Ken dolls through shirts.

Show quote history

actually...in quite a few work places it would not be remotely acceptable for a man to wear a shirt light enough or see-through enough for nipples to be on show.

"put a jacket on" does not always mean the jacket is needed as such, but that the shirt underneath is not suitable.

bonfirebash · 07/06/2023 17:01

Shame we can't just remove them really
Night out - add bigger boobs
Get home - remove them
Summer - add small boobs

Like mr potato head

Notellinganyone · 07/06/2023 17:08

@ContinuousProcrastination - D cup is pretty small though. I’m significantly overweight and have no issues with a snug 34 band. The bra wouldn’t offer support if and was looser. I got fitted by Rigby and Peller years ago and once you’ve worn a well fitting well made bra you’ll never look back.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 07/06/2023 17:17

Glastobore · 07/06/2023 14:46

I want a bra that pushes them in from the outside iyswim

And that's minimising

Hate my post meno boobs

You want a side sling bra. They’re fab for this.

Buyinv cotton bras is like some Kafkaesque horror. My dd has severe eczema, and cannot wear polyester. Loads advertised as pure cotton, which when they arrive have polyester in them.

She’s 6ft talk and a 38DD. Loads of wispy triangle cotton things. Bloody nightmare.

Original poster

4plusthehound · 07/06/2023 18:13

Glastobore · 07/06/2023 14:46

I want a bra that pushes them in from the outside iyswim

And that's minimising

Hate my post meno boobs

EXACTLY

OP posts:

Original poster

4plusthehound · 07/06/2023 18:15

bonfirebash · 07/06/2023 17:01

Shame we can't just remove them really
Night out - add bigger boobs
Get home - remove them
Summer - add small boobs

Like mr potato head

It is a real design flaw right?

A feeding time ones...😁

OP posts:

Original poster

4plusthehound · 07/06/2023 18:18

BertieBotts · 07/06/2023 10:04

I'll try talc, thank you. I have used spray antiperspirant before but it doesn't seem to make much of a difference.

Yes but be careful @BertieBotts .

Talc was in some class action law suit recently for causing cancer - asbestos (I think ) as one of it's ingredients.

READ READ READ ingerdients

OP posts:

Original poster

4plusthehound · 07/06/2023 18:22

Verv · 07/06/2023 10:16

Im a 38G and have permanent shoulder indents from the straps. Cant not wear a bra and require some serious scaffolding which gets irritating by the end of the day. I use unwired sports bras around the house.
It's far more uncomfortable for me to be bra-free than wear one though, so im always in some sort of support.

*it's far more uncomfortable for me to be bra-free than wear one though, so im always in some sort of support.

That is my trade off at the moment which is not great!

But that is why I think there may be another way to design the things. It needs fresh thinking!

OP posts:

Original poster

4plusthehound · 07/06/2023 18:27

Pixiedust1234 · 07/06/2023 10:32

I've been looking at everyone's suggestions and none do the large backing i need, and there's no independent bra shops in my city either. Was really hoping this was the thread to solve my woes. Silly me 😂

😅😂

OP posts:

Original poster

4plusthehound · 07/06/2023 18:32

originalglazedsingle · 07/06/2023 11:02

I can't live without a bra, I don't have especially big boobs but I am so much more comfortable with one.

It does take work, and luck, they are not like socks. Your body change, your needs change, you favourite kind of bras has to change. You need pretty much as many pairs as you need pants, but if you rinse them in the shower, the daily wash is not so painful.

Most women wear poorly fitted bras, you do need to find the right help to guide you, which is really hard. The majority of women seem to be given bras with cups too small, and a band too big.

Your best bet is to find a stylist who recommends a good bra fitter, or just ask locally for genuine recommendations. A lot of department stores give very poor advice (looking at you M&S and the likes!)

I can't live without a bra, I don't have especially big boobs but I am so much more comfortable with one.

Me too! My problem is that after meno I cannot find one that to be comfortable in.

And it looks like, from this thread that the problem is also that there are not adequate design solutions.

I don't mean underwire vs plunge.

Actual alterntives to the straps and band solution at the moment.

OP posts:

Original poster

4plusthehound · 07/06/2023 18:36

Outdamnspot23 · 07/06/2023 11:48

I totally agree OP, I think it needs a rethink and more personalisation. I have some friends who are engineers and I have practically begged them to put their minds to the problem of coming up with something BETTER. I rely on underwire bras as that's the best there is for me currently in terms of support but WHO I ask you WHO thought it was a good idea to put HARD METAL WIRES in a garment meant to rest against some of the softest parts of your body?

Can you imagine men tolerating metal wires to support their testicles? If anyone had invented something like that in the first place it would have swiftly been replaced by better tech as complete impractical. The fact that I have spent 20 years day in day out with metal wires on my fucking rib cage and (increasingly) digging up into my armpits is just ridiculous.

And sweat - I have one beloved non-underwire bra, I have to put a cotton wool pad between my boobs as there is no separation so they stick together and sweat. I don't NEED my boobs to be squished together in front, is it beyond the wit of humans to come up with something soft that is supportive, stops everything being squished sweatily together, and comfortable.

To those saying there's no point having a rethink - well I bet our ancestors would have said the same 150 years ago when they were all living in corsets and didn't think there was an alternative.

WHO I ask you WHO thought it was a good idea to put HARD METAL WIRES in a garment meant to rest against some of the softest parts of your body?

THIS ^^

Can you imagine men tolerating metal wires to support their testicles?
BUT REALLY THIS ^

have won the thread and have me HOWLING.

Thank you!

OP posts:

sanityisamyth · 07/06/2023 18:39

LittleDonkeyKong · 06/06/2023 19:16

I don't wear underwire bras and haven't for years. I wear soft t shirt bras or sometimes no bra!

Wouldn't work for me - 34JJ are likely to be on the floor or knock me out as I walk ...

Original poster

4plusthehound · 07/06/2023 18:41

originalglazedsingle · 07/06/2023 12:28

Can you imagine men tolerating metal wires to support their testicles? If anyone had invented something like that in the first place it would have swiftly been replaced by better tech as complete impractical.

why blaming MEN?
They are not exactly the ruling class over our head. What are women doing about it? We excel just as much in design and technology and whatever area is needed.

As women are directly concerned by the issue, you'd think if the majority cared, WE would have done something by now.

I think there's a great bra for everyone already, it's just bloody time consuming (or luck to find the right fitter) to find it.

She is not blaming men - at all.

She is saying that the situation is absurd and highlights that by using a very funny observation!

They are not exactly the ruling class over our head. What are women doing about it? We excel just as much in design and technology and whatever area is needed.

Invisible Women is a book that might interest you in terms of that statement.

OP posts:

Original poster

4plusthehound · 07/06/2023 18:41

jannier · 07/06/2023 12:33

Look at post surgery bras for mum...natural cotton and often open at front.

Show quote history

Thank you.

OP posts:

Chocchops72 · 07/06/2023 18:57

Another one for Invisible Women… why can they create a self driving car… but they can’t design a cross body seat belt that doesn’t slip upwards on big boobs and end up round my neck???

fucktonofcats · 07/06/2023 19:03

I haven't heard anything about Orbix Medical in many years, but for those of you talking about alternatives, you may find this an interesting horrifying read:
https://data.epo.org/publication-server/document?iDocId=4069855&iFormat=2

Basically, it's an internal bra that involves wires linked to your bones and an internal sling.

I initially thought it was progress when I first heard about it (I was much younger then!), but now I think, why on earth should we need surgery just to change the shape of our breasts and hold them up? There should be an easier, less invasive solution! There should be bras that work.

EPO - European publication server

European publication server - the source of information on published patent applications and granted patents.

https://data.epo.org/publication-server/document?iDocId=4069855&iFormat=2

CobraChicken · 07/06/2023 19:15

Pixiedust1234 · 07/06/2023 10:32

I've been looking at everyone's suggestions and none do the large backing i need, and there's no independent bra shops in my city either. Was really hoping this was the thread to solve my woes. Silly me 😂

If you aren't opposed to buying from Amazon, and don't care that they're not particularly attractive looking, try this range: Warner's Women's Bra https://amzn.eu/d/2RLadR1

I have a wide back and small, wide set boobs. I measure 34" directly under my boobs and I wear this style in 36A. Really comfortable. Literally the only bras I can wear that don't drive me up the wall.

Being quite flat chested, I don't wear any bra unless I'm going out. I don't need them for support and I work from home. These bras (in the slightly bigger band size than I "should" be wearing) are basically as comfortable as not wearing one!

Chocchops72 · 07/06/2023 19:35

fucktonofcats · 07/06/2023 19:03

I haven't heard anything about Orbix Medical in many years, but for those of you talking about alternatives, you may find this an interesting horrifying read:
https://data.epo.org/publication-server/document?iDocId=4069855&iFormat=2

Basically, it's an internal bra that involves wires linked to your bones and an internal sling.

I initially thought it was progress when I first heard about it (I was much younger then!), but now I think, why on earth should we need surgery just to change the shape of our breasts and hold them up? There should be an easier, less invasive solution! There should be bras that work.

You are shitting me, right?

bellac11 · 07/06/2023 19:53

Chocchops72 · 07/06/2023 18:57

Another one for Invisible Women… why can they create a self driving car… but they can’t design a cross body seat belt that doesn’t slip upwards on big boobs and end up round my neck???

I use a clip on the seat belt for that

AMonthOfSundaes · 07/06/2023 20:21

I use a clip on the seat belt for that

What cip?

Tiis, I really need to know. I have the everlasting irritation of having to keep pulling the seatbelt down from across my neck. If there is a solution, I'd love to be let in on the secret

fucktonofcats · 07/06/2023 21:08

Chocchops72 · 07/06/2023 19:35

You are shitting me, right?

Show quote history

It was actually a thing. I'm not sure if it's still a thing. Someone else can google for the update.

Now that I'm this old, yes, I want my breasts to be perky so there's no underboob sweat and chafing, but I want that for me, not to appeal to a man, and this kind of surgery feels more for a man's benefit than mine.

bellac11 · 07/06/2023 21:21

AMonthOfSundaes · 07/06/2023 20:21

I use a clip on the seat belt for that

What cip?

Tiis, I really need to know. I have the everlasting irritation of having to keep pulling the seatbelt down from across my neck. If there is a solution, I'd love to be let in on the secret

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Esteopt-Adjuster-Holder-Clips-Shoulder/dp/B09XTFQMH3/ref=sr_1_2_sspa?crid=YYBA7LZNEN9P&keywords=seat+belt+clip&qid=1686169124&sprefix=seat%2Caps%2C148&sr=8-2-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGY&psc=1

OH doesnt like me using them, says they're dangerous and wont allow the seat belt to operate in an accident but they unclip very quickly if I lean forward to pick up coffee or touch the sat nav etc

I insist on one each of the drivers and passengers side of each of our cars, you just unclip them when you're not using them, OH doesnt use them when he is driving and in the passenger seat

NeverForgetYourDreams · 07/06/2023 21:26

I’ve just been for a fitting at a local independent shop. My boobs were aching. I’m 50. Turns out I’ve been wearing wrong size and cup for years. Two weeks on and I feel better already. I also have a soft bra to sleep in. Menopause has a lot to answer for.

go to a shop and get fitted properly and treat yourself