To be sick to the teeth of bras!

[4plusthehound]

Yesterday I got dd (12) her first bra.

Last week I got one for mum (92).

I am wearing one - I am 57.

Every year of our lives, no matter what stage of that life we are in, from age 12 to when we die the SAME DESIGN is supposed to work.

Mum has the frame of a an elderly lady now- she has shrunk and is a tiny bag of bones. But her breasts are still there, and she needs to hold them in a comfortable way - a bra? The straps really dig into her, the non cotton fabrics are quite rough for skin of that age, the cotton is either extremely thin or sports thick, the elastic is unforgiving and the bloody hooks are on the back - so hard for her to manage all of that.

For me - after thousands of days wearing them I have a "grove" at the end of my collar bone where it meets the shoulder. But also, the heat systems in my body has changed, the fat distribution, everything.

And yet - in the face of all that change BRAS STAY THE SAME.

I am the only one with this problem.

I am SO uncomfortable

I'll try talc, thank you. I have used spray antiperspirant before but it doesn't seem to make much of a difference.

I'm a 36k at the moment, wearing a soft and stretchy crop top. Going out for a walk in it later too.

Took a bit of getting used to the more relaxed silhouette it gives, but honestly, fuck the idea that my boobs have to be hefted into a particular shape and location to be considered appropriate.

Especially when that shape puts horrible pressure on my spine and shoulders.

And don't tell me it's my posture or muscle tone - I work out with a PT, and work with a musculoskeletal organisation. The weight of my boobs simply isn't supposed to be borne by a high point on my spine like that.

@thecatsthecats that's completely fair enough if you're comfortable like that i find it really uncomfortable if mine arent supported by a bra

I have a routine of lying on the bed after a shower, letting myself properly air dry for at least ten minutes.

Seems to work more effectively than rubbing.

Im a 38G and have permanent shoulder indents from the straps. Cant not wear a bra and require some serious scaffolding which gets irritating by the end of the day. I use unwired sports bras around the house.
It's far more uncomfortable for me to be bra-free than wear one though, so im always in some sort of support.

If you open a very account you can order them in lots of different sizes and then send those that don't fit back without incurring charges.

They really are incredibly comfortable and give you a natural teardrop shape rather then shove up under your chin shape

I hear you OP, I’ve got big boobs / a broad back.

I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s because we want bras to do too many things and for big boobs it’s really hard to get all of them in one garment. They need to:

• be comfortable to wear - not breath-takingly tight, not scratchy stiff fabrics, not narrow straps that cut in.
• be supportive (this usually means seams) but not show through tops (seams do)
• give us a vaguely attractive shape. This might be neat, sexy, slimmer, feminine, perky, younger - whatever your personal word for it is. I’m 50, I still care (though less than I used to) about looking attractive.

with boob and bust measurements , I’m a 36JJ. That’s incredibly tight around the rib cage but anything bigger slips up my back. My boobs fall naturally downwards and outwards which is not an attractive look. a balcony style bra remedies that and lifts / separates my boobs which looks nicer. But god I feel trussed up like a turkey, boobs presented on a platter and I am desperate to get out of the scaffolding by the end of the day . For comfort I’d just wear a cotton mix stretchy bra top - but this gives me total monoboob and my boobs end up just above my waist and I look fatter and older as a result.

i have spent literally £1000’s on bras in every size and style in the last few years and still haven’t found the holy grail, I did find one that ticked most of the boxes but the fuckers discontinued it and the company seems to have vanished (polish company i think called Krisline - brilliant balcony bras with wide soft straps).

I've been looking at everyone's suggestions and none do the large backing i need, and there's no independent bra shops in my city either. Was really hoping this was the thread to solve my woes. Silly me 😂

Bigger (and/or droopier) boobs get sweat underneath, but if lifted by a bra it is less sweaty as it's not skin on skin.

I struggle to find a smaller back size with larger cups that don't cost a fortune. All the supermarket dd+ bras start at 32 or 34, when I need a 28 or 30! Same goes for bikinis.

I've just purchased two 38 HH bras from bavissimo, one is a little on the large size but the 19th on the cups are perfect but the band is way too small, about a 34.

I'm 58 and absolutely hate bras, I only wear them when I REALLY have too! One of the worst things ever invented!

Thank you, Caresse Crosby 20 April 1892 - January 1970 for making us girls feel even more uncomfortable!

I wear total elasticated sorts, there's no zips or hooks, the size tags are printed onto the material instead of being sewn on.

Just as uncomfortable as normal bras as the shoulder straps keep slipping and they roll up at the bottom but at least there's no hooks and scratchy tags!

I can't live without a bra, I don't have especially big boobs but I am so much more comfortable with one.

It does take work, and luck, they are not like socks. Your body change, your needs change, you favourite kind of bras has to change. You need pretty much as many pairs as you need pants, but if you rinse them in the shower, the daily wash is not so painful.

Most women wear poorly fitted bras, you do need to find the right help to guide you, which is really hard. The majority of women seem to be given bras with cups too small, and a band too big.

Your best bet is to find a stylist who recommends a good bra fitter, or just ask locally for genuine recommendations. A lot of department stores give very poor advice (looking at you M&S and the likes!)

I totally agree OP, I think it needs a rethink and more personalisation. I have some friends who are engineers and I have practically begged them to put their minds to the problem of coming up with something BETTER. I rely on underwire bras as that's the best there is for me currently in terms of support but WHO I ask you WHO thought it was a good idea to put HARD METAL WIRES in a garment meant to rest against some of the softest parts of your body?

Can you imagine men tolerating metal wires to support their testicles? If anyone had invented something like that in the first place it would have swiftly been replaced by better tech as complete impractical. The fact that I have spent 20 years day in day out with metal wires on my fucking rib cage and (increasingly) digging up into my armpits is just ridiculous.

And sweat - I have one beloved non-underwire bra, I have to put a cotton wool pad between my boobs as there is no separation so they stick together and sweat. I don't NEED my boobs to be squished together in front, is it beyond the wit of humans to come up with something soft that is supportive, stops everything being squished sweatily together, and comfortable.

To those saying there's no point having a rethink - well I bet our ancestors would have said the same 150 years ago when they were all living in corsets and didn't think there was an alternative.

THe best bra I ever had was an M&S memory foam and cotton bra, it was so comfy and adjusted to your shape. Obviously it was discontinued immediately and the three options from there now are either a) lacy horror that covers acres while itching b) soft bag offering nothing c) RIGID DOMES TO CONTROL THE BEASTS.

Can you imagine men tolerating metal wires to support their testicles? If anyone had invented something like that in the first place it would have swiftly been replaced by better tech as complete impractical.

why blaming MEN?
They are not exactly the ruling class over our head. What are women doing about it? We excel just as much in design and technology and whatever area is needed.

As women are directly concerned by the issue, you'd think if the majority cared, WE would have done something by now.

I think there's a great bra for everyone already, it's just bloody time consuming (or luck to find the right fitter) to find it.

Try re-reading @originalglazedsingle I didn't blame men I was saying if men had these kind of garments they would have been swiftly improved - didn't say by whom or that I was waiting for men to improve bras. You've just made that up.

Look at post surgery bras for mum...natural cotton and often open at front.

Did you mean that if men had uncomfortable garments, women would rush out to solve the problems and ease their life? 😂That's even worst!

2nd not 19th I didn't buy that many

Thank you @boobyandacuddle - I love that site and have used it.

DD has two mosquito bites - 😁But she wants a little something for under t -shirts and wants to be in her older sisters club!

For my issue - it is less about fit and more about the engineering of bras/ continous daily use over the 40 plus years.

I agree @inappropriateraspberry.

But - if you read my post I think the groove is there now because I have worn a bra every day for 40 years.

That is a lot of days!

So my question was - if we throw out the bath water and the baby is there a possibility of an entirely new approch to housing our breasts? 😃

It seems the manufacturers have got us to believe that a bra is essential wear for any woman of any size, from puberty to death. It's not so!
I'm 34C and I've never worn a bra except for exercise or under a very revealing top. If I get bigger and heavier one day then I'll start wearing one for support. But a bra isn't a compulsory uniform for every girl and woman.
Rant over!

Look at the average bra size - most women have quite large breasts and need/want support. It is usually more comfortable than having them free swinging!
Before bras they used corsets and before that they would bind them to hold them in place. And we have got larger (height and weight) over the years so therefore the boobs are bigger!

My boobs are not that big but I don't like showing my nips . In winter, under a thick fleece or jumper I can go without at home, but I do not like going braless in a tee-shirt...and that's at home! I look like I'm alway cold even if I'm sweating.

I bought a lovely bra from asda, now discontinued. It was wireless, large back, seamless, padding, slight stretchiness, supportive. Absolutely perfect. Rude word stopped making them.