To be sick to the teeth of bras!

[4plusthehound]

Yesterday I got dd (12) her first bra.

Last week I got one for mum (92).

I am wearing one - I am 57.

Every year of our lives, no matter what stage of that life we are in, from age 12 to when we die the SAME DESIGN is supposed to work.

Mum has the frame of a an elderly lady now- she has shrunk and is a tiny bag of bones. But her breasts are still there, and she needs to hold them in a comfortable way - a bra? The straps really dig into her, the non cotton fabrics are quite rough for skin of that age, the cotton is either extremely thin or sports thick, the elastic is unforgiving and the bloody hooks are on the back - so hard for her to manage all of that.

For me - after thousands of days wearing them I have a "grove" at the end of my collar bone where it meets the shoulder. But also, the heat systems in my body has changed, the fat distribution, everything.

And yet - in the face of all that change BRAS STAY THE SAME.

I am the only one with this problem.

I am SO uncomfortable

Yes Molke are the ones I was talking about! They aren't beautiful looking, but they are v comfy

If you are able to do this the bra doesn’t fit properly. Most people wear a band that is too loose.

This doesn't work if you have a bit much fat though. A firmly fitted band against a big, but lean frame, is not uncomfortable. A band fitted to be firm and supportive on a fatter frame, digs into the fat uncomfortably.

Ive always worn a looser elasticated band and it works fine for me. D cup.

They do it up at waist level which is smaller and then swivel and pull it up to under boob. You’re meant to be able to get 2 fingers in the band anyway I think

I think you are being a bit unreasonable to be honest.
At no other point in history has there been more choice available to women in the realm of undergarments.
Even just going into M&S there are tens of different style choices. Underwire, no underwire, big straps, thin straps, no straps, bralets, sports bra, sleep bra, padded, not padded……
Keep trying different things. Have you been properly measured?
A quick search online yields many soft looking, front fastening options that may work for your mum. Although I found the one front fastening bra I’ve ever tried was harder than any back fastening.

I felt much the same as you and then I broke my wrist a few months back and I absolutely couldn’t do up my bra as I had been doing for the last 40 years. So with help from the good women of MN I had to explore the world of non-fastening bras. Honestly, it made me aware of how
much in a rut I had been stuck and how much bras have changed since I started wearing them a long time ago. I had just been automatically buying the same thing for years and years.

So I suggest ordering some different ones up and seeing. Of the types I tried, Molke have been the best. I was very unconvinced at first, both by appearance, price and there is a trick to putting them on. But the are so comfy, they don’t give me a mono-boob like the M&S wireless do, and they support me like a wired bra does (I have H cup so support needs to be good!).

This is so true.

But even if you are not top heavy.

Before menopause I weas a very steady size 34B.

After menopause I am now much wider in the back, my cup size has changed due to the changes in distribution of the fat in my body.

That is - most of the fat in my bust is now underneath the bust (younger women the fat is on the top side). So now the heat impact has changed as has moisture. The fat content of my body from the underarms down the side of my rib cage has also changed, so there is now more there and less in front. There is also heat and moisture change there.

So within that - bras that were very suited my purpose from teenage years to now - are no longer comfortable, and no longer do their job well.

So I was thinking - is there a better way of making thes things for this stage?

😃

!!!!

Thank you - I will look it up!

She fastens it at waist level which is narrower than her under bust and then pulls it up. She has been measured properly without adding extra inches.

😄😄

I'd like bras that are adjustable throughout the time of the month.

I'm a 32E but for 6 days of the month, easily a 32F, and the shape changes. Those days I live for the moment i take my bra off 😂😂

I don't think YABU actually. Because I've spent hundreds on bras in the last 12 months, and have about 15 now, and none last well. And none are perfect.

Definitely invest in getting properly fitted by an independent bra fitter. There's no reason to put up with uncomfortable bras - they shouldn't be uncomfortable

I agree @Smartiepants79 . The range available is wonderful.

But most are predicated on using the shoulders of the support - poor shoulders!

It may well be that it is the best solution - I am not an engineer or an industrial designer.

But I did wonder if there could be an alternative way.

In a way I would love to just mush mine down 😁, you know, tidy and out of the way. Obviously you can get loads of things that work that way but they are too hot at this stage of life.

Thank God ONE person does not find me unreasonable !

And actually now that you mention it I used to swell quite a bit around period times.

Supermarket clothing ranges are pretty good at meeting a variety of needs at an affordable price. I like Morrisons seamless bras which are pull-on with no wires or clasps and cost about a fiver.

I really envy this but assume you have smallish breasts? I have 36JJ beasts and recently had a lengthy hospital stay. Two weeks in soft, teeshirt style bras meant my breasts were constantly squished together and has given me nasty what I thought was eczema between my boobs. A trip to the doctor confirmed that it's bloody thrush! And I was washing every day too so can't put it down to sweating and not washing. So grim, I need the uncomfortable wire to keep them apart and keep the bloody rashes at bay.

They're not good for bigger chests. I think the only shop that caters for larger sizes in store is asda

I totally agree. I’ve got loads of the damn things. Always in search of something really comfortable but never find anything that really works. Those loose ‘comfort’ bras are ok for the most part, but not exactly flattering and don’t look great under clothes usually. Just taken mine off now and it feels greaaaat!

Just joined you!

Every year of our lives, no matter what stage of that life we are in, from age 12 to when we die the SAME DESIGN is supposed to work.

No idea what you’re talking about, bras aimed at 12 year olds are totally different to those aimed at 40 year old women, again those aimed at 70 year old women are different, and then there are different bras for pregnancy or nursing.

If you don’t want to wear one then don’t, no one is making you but yourself.

If your bra is uncomfortable though it just doesn’t fit, there are so many styles, fabrics etc that there will be one you find comfy.

I only wear an underwired bra a handful of times a year when I want a certain look under an outfit. I either wear a soft triangle bra or none.

I've given up on underwrite day to day. After much experimentation I've settled on Lemonade Dolls to contain my 36GGs. It's like not wearing a bra but pretty. I'm fully converted.

Always do mine like that I’ve never done them up at the back and today not a chance.

YANBU. A few years ago I had a condition which meant I had a horrible itch just wear the bra strap was. I could hardly find anything that did not do up in the usual fastening at the back. I did get front fasteners with wider shoulder straps.

Where not wear

I do up at waist level at the front and then swivel round and pull up but do not want to be doing this in my 90s.

Miss Mary have solution bras for some of these issues. My mum is looking into them at the moment.

I think wide straps is the thing I want more than anything now.

@4plusthehound You Are Not Unreasonable!