It's bothering me that some people appear to be pitying me because I have 3 girls

[Hello55]

I had my 3rd girl last year and i hate that during this time a few people have made comments like they are pitying me for having 3 girls. I love them they are my world. It bothers me how dare they? Anyone else experienced this and how have you stopped it bothering you? I'm trying not to let what other people think bother me but I can't help it sometimes and it eats away at me. What can I do? For background I am Asian and traditionally boys are more favoured by people. Have had the odd comment from people from other backgrounds.. 1 person from a white background asking if we would try for a boy!

Also since having my 3rd i have become more conscious about things down the line when they get older.. i worry for them as it is a scary world we live in. Anyone else do this and how do you deal with it?

AIBU for letting peoples comments bother me and also having these future worries?

Tia X

I have two sons. They are both great young men but their personalities are very different. They are both happy to spend time with their old mum and I would say we have a great relationship. Would I have loved a daughter? Of course, but because she would have been my child not because she was a girl. Would I swap my experience of being a ‘boy mum’. Hell no! I’ve loved every single second of it (maybe not the first couple of weeks of sleepless nights!)

I’m amused at the irony of some of the posts, whereby posters are indignant about generalisations and assumptions, and then make sweeping statements about girls or boys. Just stop! You love having girls- great, I’m happy for you. You think your boys are the best- I’m equally happy for you. You are both right but stop making others feel bad.

This made me laugh!

As the youngest of 3 girls I feel sorry for you too
A few years ago, my Mum gave me the congratulations cards she received after she had me. One person had actually written "hope you're not too disappointed". Cheeky mare x

@Purple444 , Can you can return them at birth? Raise a wrong item delivered case?

Possibly. Maybe ‘Not as described’?

I need to keep my 100% positive feedback though!

YANBU people need to sod off. I’m one of 5 girls so my mum had had plenty of comments! So have we - ‘didn’t you want a brother?’. No. The bond between sisters is precious, your girls are so lucky. People always have something to say - too many girls/boys, too many kids, not enough kids. Ignore and enjoy your lovely family.

I envisaged having a happy nuclear family with my darling husband, and either 2 girls or 1 of each.

I'm now a single parent of 2 boys 😁 sometimes life comes up with a better idea. I won't be having another child.

I miscarried between my 2 boys and often wonder if it was a girl. I've had my fair share of comments. The worst was a baby group when ds2 was a few months old, another mum there with her ds2, first baby, said she felt sorry for me having 2 boys, "oh I'd hate that", she said. Her ds1 is in the same class as my ds2 now, and he has a baby brother!

I think 3 girls is perfection. I also think the same of 3 boys.

Haters gonna hate so just try to ignore them.

You never wanted boys? Quite sad!

Thanks v much from mum of boys...

Yet another lovely comment for mums of boys

“Lucky enough to have one of each” 🙄

Like this is the ideal and the rest of us are sad we didn’t achieve the nirvana. No thanks.

@Meixo ah that’s really lovely. Thank you. 🙄

@GrandTheftWalrus well that was lucky then wasn’t?! How fucking awful would it have been if you’d had a boy.

JFC the twattery.

@Napoleandynamite I haven’t spoken to my sister for 10 years whereas I speak to my brother every week.

Precious sisterly bond my arse 🙄

I know 😒

In case your interested. I read that most miscarriages are boys. How true I don't know.

Did you have worries all of a sudden once your 3rd daughter was born about how scary the world is? All of a sudden im constantly worrying about how girls can be more vulnerable to certain things.

I have a daughter and a son, and my DD is definitely the more resilient person-every time life throws her a lemon, she deals with it in a rational and practical way. DS is the more sensitive person and I worry about him far more, tbh. Don’t underestimate your daughters!

I am one of the 3 Girls. No Boys. I have 3 Daughters. Just a couple of weeks ago I was in Town with all 3 of my Daughters. A middle aged Lady was in a shop and I was next to her looking for something. She turned around and said " Aww you have 3 Daughters? May you have Boys too" I was taken aback...why would she say this to a total stranger...just why? I told her for her information I had 2 Sons who were older than my Daughters and were at home ( I also have 2 Sons 20 yrs old and 19yrs old). But that got me thinking how people are so strange and just assume you're not happy with what you have.

Now I'm a female in an all male household how lovely it is that I can have my perfume , clothes, lotions and potions all to myself

All male household and my sons love using and picking up my things. My oldest son also likes to hide my combs, brushes, and earrings. Thankfully, he is somewhat predictable in his hiding spaces for things but I have lost so many earrings because of him and it doesn’t help that he is a natural
climber so I can put something up high and he can still get it. I ended up buying Mustard lockers so I can lock things away.

If I'd had a boy I'd have still been happy as I was told I couldn't have children. But I am an only child and always wanted a sister. And I think that was on my mind when I finally got pregnant that I wanted a girl.

Tbf I could've had a dinosaur and still been happy.

I wonder if my miscarriage was a boy tbh.

I think I'd rather my gorgeous boys than a dinosaur!

Well said thank you! X

By saying you are ‘lucky enough to have one of each’ is literally the whole point of this post. She is also ‘lucky enough’ to have 3 girls. I have a girl and a boy but I don’t think myself to be ‘luckier’ than people with children all of the same sex.