To have made the birthday cake instead of buying a fancy one?

[Flamingogirl08]

So a bit light hearted because it doesn't really matter but my my feelings have been slightly 'bruised' shall we say.

It's first DD birthday this weekend. I've baked her a cake today, in the shape of a 1, pink icing. Nothing fancy but I think it looks quite good to be honest.

We're having family round tomorrow for a bit of a get together. I sent a pic of the cake to the family what's app group.

DSIL has messaged back saying oh I wish you'd have told me you were baking yourself I would've ordered a nice one for her. Am I being too sensitive or is that a bit rude?

To be honest making her birthday cake myself is something I've been looking forward to and it'll be her first taste of cake so it felt special to bake it myself.

Should I have bought a nice one since we have people coming round?

I suspect its not about your DDs birthday at all, it's all about her Instagram photos.

It doesn't matter if it's bought or made. What counts is you took the time to get your baby a cake because you love them. 🙂

She was rude, no doubt about that

Bright and breezy "No thanks, we're good" is the way to go

Even if you're a terrible baker and your cake is awful (and I'm sure that's not the case), the only polite comment is "thanks, delicious"

God, no. I always buy birthday cakes because I'm not a very confident baker, but I think hone made is what most people probably aspire to. I'm sure your cake is lovely, OP!

I so much prefer home-made cake and I would tell her so.

It sounds rude on first read and it may well be.

However, I can imagine my MIL saying this and not meaning to be rude at all. She would mean it in a 'oh gosh, I'd have saved you baking and bought one' way as she hates anything that requires effort and always assumes everyone else does too. She couldn't fathom anyone would enjoy baking so would think it would be nice to offer to buy one.

Anyway, hopefully thats what your SIL meant as if not, it's staggeringly rude. Even if your cakes are awful and they don't want to eat any ever again! (I'm joking)

My dc both had a hedgehog cake for their first birthday.
Last month I made one for dgs first birthday, at DD’s request.

I would message back

”oh that is so sweet of you, but we decided that we only wanted to have a cake for everyone to eat and enjoy rather than also buy in a cake for a cake smash which is so wasteful, but really appreciate the offer.Looking forward to seeing you at the party tea.”

Not only was she very rude, she has terrible taste.

Any home -made cake tastes better than shop made.

Just reply, “Why on earth would you do that?”

Say thank you but this is a nice one

That is so rude of her op. I still have photos from my cakes I made my kids for their first birthdays, they were far from perfect but you know what, I was so delighted making them and have lovely memories of the effort I went to. Plenty of time for fancy cakes down the line if you like. It’s so lovely you made your own! She sounds like a right misery guts!!!

Not read any replies … too eager to respond myself!

Tad rude! She could have said something like ‘oh that’s lovely it’s such an effort to make a cake from scratch! I wouldn’t have minded bringing one over to save you some time… clearly nothing bought would be as tasty but happy to help’

and… I’m sure your cake will be lovely and putting the effort in is worth celebrating!

That is amazing.

Seriously- you think that's a flop?! I would be SO proud of myself if I'd managed to do anything half as good as that!

My daughter and son make cakes for everyone in our family - it’s become a tradition since my daughter was about 8 and she’s now 20. By now they are brilliant and as good as any bought ones and we would all be gutted to get a bought one. My 13-year-old son even makes his sister’s on his own and they are pretty impressive. So I’d keep on doing it - it’s fun and means more

Ah that is rude OP and a bit nasty, but baking your own cake is lovely and starting your own family tradition.

In years to come you can share a laugh with your DD when you reminisce - "cheeky auntie rude-chops took one look at your precious first cake and offered to go buy a Tescos job"!

Home made always tastes nicer.

Offer to teach your SIL to bake :)

Always made my boys cakes they are adults now.
I even made their cakes this year
They remember their cakes, remember their favourites. one had a monkey cake another a train. That’s what they were into at the time and 2 of them especially remember those ones.
Clearly amateur efforts on my part. Not like their friends who got shop bought but I wonder if their friends have fond memories of their mother making their favourite cakes.

Youre doing a lovely thing OP

That's a rude dig. Is she always like that?

I'm 54 but clearly remember my caterpillar cake and rather fantastic Magic Roundabout cake, made by my mother, who recognises me, but no longer knows who I am. Precious memories. I'm sure DD will love her cake, whether she eats it or squishes it.

New rule for the party- no cake for rude people.

I'd be raging. I made my ds birthday and christening cakes and they weren't perfect but they tasted good and looked decent. I'd have been gutted by a remark like that because it's so much effort. Ignore her my guess is she couldn't do it herself so she's throwing shade. I bet it'll be much nicer!

@Flamingogirl08 one of my favourite memories of my late Mum is the year I declared I didn't want a cake I wanted millionaires shortbread. She made a brilliant one, complete with candles. Still think fondly of it, c. 30 years on. Bugger your mean SIL 🤣🤭

I made almost all of my dc’s birthday cakes, when they were young. The only time I didn’t was when dd had her first party inviting school chums. I bought one from M&S, as I was worried in case mine went wrong.

When we cut the cake, we found that there had been a big air bubble right across the cake just under the top of it and the fondant icing just fell off and obviously wouldn’t stick back on. It was pretty gutting. I always made them myself after that and was very proud of how good they looked (and tasted)!

Rude. I don't eat shop bought cake it's just not the same as fresh cakes made at home etc

This.