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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have made the birthday cake instead of buying a fancy one?

203 replies

Flamingogirl08 · 05/05/2023 19:14

So a bit light hearted because it doesn't really matter but my my feelings have been slightly 'bruised' shall we say.

It's first DD birthday this weekend. I've baked her a cake today, in the shape of a 1, pink icing. Nothing fancy but I think it looks quite good to be honest.

We're having family round tomorrow for a bit of a get together. I sent a pic of the cake to the family what's app group.

DSIL has messaged back saying oh I wish you'd have told me you were baking yourself I would've ordered a nice one for her. Am I being too sensitive or is that a bit rude?

To be honest making her birthday cake myself is something I've been looking forward to and it'll be her first taste of cake so it felt special to bake it myself.

Should I have bought a nice one since we have people coming round?

OP posts:
ManxRhyme · 05/05/2023 19:51

Rude cow. My kids insist on home made cakes for their birthdays. Even the more basic homemade ones taste better than shop bought.

I would reply "Oh be careful hun, your spite is showing".

orangeflags · 05/05/2023 19:51

She can fuck right off. A home made cake for your children is a totally precious thing. My mum was a terrible baker, but every year for about20 years she made my birthday cake. It was wonderful to me

SBAM · 05/05/2023 19:51

I always make my DCs cakes. We’ve had shop ones for their parties with friends but always homemade for the family get-together.
It’s even better (& more stressful) now they’re old enough to tell me what they want - in the past 3 years we’ve had a butterfly, the gruffalo, a rainbow, a Thomas one, a building site and supertato. They’re all obviously homemade and a bit wonky but the absolute delight on your child’s face that you’ve made what they requested is amazing.

JMSA · 05/05/2023 19:51

On first glance, I thought 'how rude'. But on reflection, I wonder if she meant that she'd have bought one to save you the bother of baking it.
Happy 1st birthday to your little one anyway! A special day indeed Smile

Loveyoutomatoes · 05/05/2023 19:51

ModerationInEverything · 05/05/2023 19:16

Your cake will taste better than any bought cake. I'm not going to say anything twee like it was baked with love, but because it's all fresh and no preservatives. DSIL is a twat and I'm guessing a non baker!

Agree with every word.

PensionPuzzle · 05/05/2023 19:52

"we have a family tradition of making birthday cakes, not buying them, and we plan to continue it". Exceptions made for caterpillar cakes, obviously.

She sounds a tactless dolt but I suspect she didn't mean to actively offend?

Dracuuule · 05/05/2023 19:52

Omg just keep baking her cakes for birthdays, if you want. By the time she's 10, your cakes will be stunning.
It's a lovely and tasty thing to do.

CatchHimDerry · 05/05/2023 19:53

I think that’s rude

I’m making DS cake next month when he is 1 as well…the posh ones, to me, are a lot of money for a 1 year old who won’t care less, and I am really looking forward to making something special myself for him!

Good job for making her cake I’m sure everyone will love it

Mum2jenny · 05/05/2023 19:53

She was really really rude. I’d ignore all further comments from such a rude cow.
It’s really nice to bake a cake for your own child’s birthday

Lulu1919 · 05/05/2023 19:53

Hard gage ...as we dont know her ...
But I'd much rather have a homemade cake ANYDAY !!!
They taste better ,you know what's in it and you've taken time and patience to do
Win win win

Hazelnuttella · 05/05/2023 19:53

That’s such a weird thing to say.
Home made cakes are the best tasting, I’m sure everyone will enjoy it.

Iminthemoneylife · 05/05/2023 19:53

Incredibly rude. Now my DD want crappy shop bought cakes.

Freeballing · 05/05/2023 19:54

I made my sons 16th birthday cake last week. I've made them both cakes since their first birthdays. Its a totally normal thing to do. Don't pay any heed to her at all.

Spanielsarepainless · 05/05/2023 19:55

I have never had a bought birthday cake in all my 60 years. They only taste of sugar, even the expensive ones. Yours will be delicious.

phoenixrosehere · 05/05/2023 19:57

That’s rude and was unnecessary to even text.

I have made different things for both sons birthdays. I made mini buttermilk pancakes for both of our children for their first because I wanted something they could pick up and hold for themselves and they both love pancakes.

Every birthday is something I know that they like or a flavour they like.

hiredandsqueak · 05/05/2023 19:57

Ignore, my dd is 30 next week and I have baked pink iced fairy cakes and a birthday cake for every birthday. She would be so disappointed if I didn't do it now. It's something that she sees as a gesture of my love for her. She has dgs now and whilst she isn't a baker she enlists me to bake his birthday cake now as well. They might not be statement cakes but they are delicious and made with love.

Questionquestionqu · 05/05/2023 19:57

Helenahandkart · 05/05/2023 19:47

Homemade cakes taste a million times better. I always feel a bit sad when I go to a birthday party and they’ve bought a cake in, rather than doing a homemade one. They all taste the same and have weird slimy icing.
Have a lovely party with your lovely cake.

A bit sad 🤣
Homemade cakes certainly do not taste better if made by me!!

Op, yanbu. I always envy mothers who bake their children's cakes. I'm more of a buy one from Asda sort of person!

ThreeImaginaryBoys · 05/05/2023 19:58

'No need to order a nice one. I've baked a really nice one.'

Cheeky cow.

seven201 · 05/05/2023 19:58

She's so rude! I love making my dd's cakes every year. They're definitely not professional standard but she gets to say what she wants and I give it a go.

LakeTiticaca · 05/05/2023 19:58

Very rude!! Home made cake is far superior, not full of preservatives and the rest of the crap!!

HazyDragon · 05/05/2023 19:58

So rude! I would just reply 'Ouch!' and leave her to explain herself.

My MIL was the same with my DD's first cake. She kept asking 'Do I need to get DD cake?' even though she knew I was making it and even if I wasn't, as if I wouldn't be getting my PFB her first birthday cake!!

I read on here before about people being controlling via cake. It sounds ridiculous, but it's definitely a thing!

Fink · 05/05/2023 19:58

This is a dividing line in my family. I always baked cakes for dc, and took pleasure in making them into fun designs. They didn't look professional (a long long way from it!) but the dc always loved them. Now they're older I still home bake, but not a special design. My sister, on the other hand, loves a particular shop-bought cake and will always go for that for her family even if I offer to bake. Luckily, we're respectful of each other's choices, whereas your SIL is just rude, but there is definitely a difference of cultures between preferring home-made or shop.

PinkArt · 05/05/2023 20:01

'She has a nice cake, SIL!'

Quoronation · 05/05/2023 20:02

You know your sister best. My mum made my cake every year until I was about 30! I think some people hate making cakes and others enjoy it

romaineleaf · 05/05/2023 20:04

She is a dick. Home made cakes are the best. Every year my kids come up with a ridiculous ask for me to bake, sometimes they are good sometimes less impressive. They always love them. It's much more fun! We could definitely afford a professional extravaganza but why would we?

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