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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is just rude?

213 replies

premiumskint · 11/04/2023 21:25

Been dating a guy for past 4 weeks, we've been on 6 dates so really early days. I'm pretty laid back, as is he, so I've just been going with his texting communication - which has became more and more sporadic. But tried not to dwell on it as I have done in the past with others and just kind of matched his messages. Kept it light and breezy.

Last message was sent by me on Friday evening after a day of back and forth voice notes. Then I didn't hear a peep all weekend. That's fine just assumed busy with Easter etc.

Nothing yesterday then a text today just asking how I was. I replied, he replied, I replied and this was 6 hours ago and there's been nothing since. In this time he has posted on instagram, liked my story and sent a 😍 to my story.

I find it rather rude. My last message was definitely one he could of replied to where I asked him two questions.

I can just feel the change in communication and honestly if it weren't for him viewing my story and posting one himself, I could have pretended in my head that he'd been busy with work and then fell asleep.

If someone's lost interest then that's fair enough but why even start a conversation to then just ignore me AGAIN.

I was actually assuming today that I probably wouldn't hear from him and was feeling okay and then he text me and is now not responding and I'm back to feeling shit.

Should I block his number? I almost want to as sick of sitting waiting for a text. Or is that petty?

OP posts:
ComeOnThenFanny · 11/04/2023 21:27

No, no. Don't play that game. If he's not showing enough interest (which he isn't), bin him off. He should be trying to impress you, not being all half-arsed.

Justmuddlingalong · 11/04/2023 21:28

Stop trying to fit in with what he wants. Use your voice and actions and don't be so passive.

Original poster
premiumskint · 11/04/2023 21:29

So block?

OP posts:
Bunce1 · 11/04/2023 21:33

Block? Why close the door?

what do you actually want?

ComeOnThenFanny · 11/04/2023 21:33

I would. But only because I have been where you are, more than once, and I would never do it again. It's hard to do, but it's a bit of a relief really.

If someone's into you, you won't doubt it.

Needmorelego · 11/04/2023 21:33

Why can't you just ask him what's going on with this relationship and whether he wants to continue?

Original poster
premiumskint · 11/04/2023 21:34

I've blocked him. I needed to for my own sanity. I found myself checking my messages and getting that knot in my stomach that I've had previously. Can't go through that shit again.

OP posts:
Original poster
premiumskint · 11/04/2023 21:36

I think it would be one thing if he just wasn't replying, but the fact he is actively picking up his phone, posting on his instagram, responding to people on instagram. Whilst I am sat on read for 6 hours. I love getting a text from him and get really excited and actively have to stop myself responding straight away. If he was that into me he would be the same I'm sure of it.

OP posts:
Lifesagamethentheytaketheboardaway · 11/04/2023 21:40

You’re not a tamagotchi.

Why do you need to text all day every day? What is the point? Constant babble is just stupid.

Original poster
premiumskint · 11/04/2023 21:42

Lifesagamethentheytaketheboardaway · 11/04/2023 21:40

You’re not a tamagotchi.

Why do you need to text all day every day? What is the point? Constant babble is just stupid.

I don't, but why message me, then ignore my reply and respond to others on instagram. We all know that's not how we act if we are into someone romantically.

OP posts:
flutterbyebaby · 11/04/2023 21:43

You sound rather intense, I think he has had a lucky escape

GodSaveTheClean · 11/04/2023 21:45

flutterbyebaby · 11/04/2023 21:43

You sound rather intense, I think he has had a lucky escape

This is so mean. Why say that? What benefit does it add to anything in life to be unkind?

Panda8383 · 11/04/2023 21:46

I don’t think your intense, I think you just want to know where you stand..I think it is pretty rude of him, defo bin him x

Original poster
premiumskint · 11/04/2023 21:46

flutterbyebaby · 11/04/2023 21:43

You sound rather intense, I think he has had a lucky escape

Oh well, maybe I am and maybe he has 😅

OP posts:
DisplayPurposesOnly · 11/04/2023 21:47

I don't understand why your first and only instinct is to block. It seems really childish to me. Why not just tell him you don't want to continue.

I would have said, "I don't think this relationship is going anywhere so I'm going to call it quits. Best of luck finding someone who suits you."

Original poster
premiumskint · 11/04/2023 21:48

DisplayPurposesOnly · 11/04/2023 21:47

I don't understand why your first and only instinct is to block. It seems really childish to me. Why not just tell him you don't want to continue.

I would have said, "I don't think this relationship is going anywhere so I'm going to call it quits. Best of luck finding someone who suits you."

He could have done me that same courtesy I suppose.

OP posts:
flutterbyebaby · 11/04/2023 21:49

GodSaveTheClean · 11/04/2023 21:45

This is so mean. Why say that? What benefit does it add to anything in life to be unkind?

Show quote history

Because it's the truth, if a bloke was stalking my every Internet move and started get the huff because I'd not replied to a text, I'd run like the wind. The op wanted replies not her derriere licked

PotOfTeaForOne · 11/04/2023 21:50

I wouldn't block him, it seems a bit petty and childish and sounds like you really like him.

I would send him a message saying something like "I've had a good time with you, but things seem to have fizzled out between so probably to call it a day, take care."

He will either ignore you or panic and reply.

flutterbyebaby · 11/04/2023 21:51

premiumskint · 11/04/2023 21:46

Oh well, maybe I am and maybe he has 😅

Show quote history

He's definitely not the one 😁 onwards and upwards, and fun in between x

F4cesittingqueen · 11/04/2023 21:53

How old are you op? Have you had much luck dating before? In the nicest possible way your reaction to not getting a text back does seem a bit immature (sorry).
Why don’t you just ask them what they think? And /or if it’s going somewhere, if that’s what you want? Are they someone you see regularly otherwise? If you arnt gonna see them again, does it matter?

Original poster
premiumskint · 11/04/2023 22:02

F4cesittingqueen · 11/04/2023 21:53

How old are you op? Have you had much luck dating before? In the nicest possible way your reaction to not getting a text back does seem a bit immature (sorry).
Why don’t you just ask them what they think? And /or if it’s going somewhere, if that’s what you want? Are they someone you see regularly otherwise? If you arnt gonna see them again, does it matter?

I'm 30 and yes I've had some long term relationships so wouldn't say I'm hopeless. I guess the reason is because I know the drill, things fizzle out, I mention it, they promise that nothing is wrong and they're still interested. They make a bit more effort for a little while and then things fizzle out again and round and round we go. It ends up that I feel like I'm going crazy and they think I am crazy and it's always me that ends up hurt whilst they move on quite the thing as if nothing ever happened. I know the signs so I just don't want to put myself through that again.

I think, no matter what people say, in the beginning, if you are excited about someone, and you have enough time to be posting new pictures online and replying to comments then you want to text that person back. Specifically if they've asked questions to keep the conversation going.

OP posts:
Original poster
premiumskint · 11/04/2023 22:03

I get if someone is working etc or going through a crisis but this isn't the case.

OP posts:
Natty13 · 11/04/2023 22:04

This: "I'm pretty laid back"

And this: "sick of sitting waiting for a text." Don't match up.

I'm pretty laid back and when I was dating I didn't have the energy or time to be having a long text conversation all the time. It has to settle down at some point. I text my friends and family when it's convenient for me and expect them to do the same for me. Sometimes that's at a similar time of day but one of us will always wait a while before replying so it isn't a back and forth. Otherwise it does feel like the other person is just sitting round waiting for you to text. It's not a crime to go on instagram when you haven't texted someone back. Getting upset about that is the literal opposite of laid back. I do think your life isn't busy or interesting (to you) enough if you've got the mental energy to be checking your phone that much.

Perhaps he was trailing things off because he wasn't interested, perhaps he was settling down with the messaging because he likes you and felt you'd been seeing each other long enough to go to a more "normal" amount of texting (normal for him I mean). You'll never know now.

F4cesittingqueen · 11/04/2023 22:06

premiumskint · 11/04/2023 22:02

I'm 30 and yes I've had some long term relationships so wouldn't say I'm hopeless. I guess the reason is because I know the drill, things fizzle out, I mention it, they promise that nothing is wrong and they're still interested. They make a bit more effort for a little while and then things fizzle out again and round and round we go. It ends up that I feel like I'm going crazy and they think I am crazy and it's always me that ends up hurt whilst they move on quite the thing as if nothing ever happened. I know the signs so I just don't want to put myself through that again.

I think, no matter what people say, in the beginning, if you are excited about someone, and you have enough time to be posting new pictures online and replying to comments then you want to text that person back. Specifically if they've asked questions to keep the conversation going.

Show quote history

If you’re tired of sitting around waiting, why don’t you just ask him?

F4cesittingqueen · 11/04/2023 22:09

premiumskint · 11/04/2023 22:02

I'm 30 and yes I've had some long term relationships so wouldn't say I'm hopeless. I guess the reason is because I know the drill, things fizzle out, I mention it, they promise that nothing is wrong and they're still interested. They make a bit more effort for a little while and then things fizzle out again and round and round we go. It ends up that I feel like I'm going crazy and they think I am crazy and it's always me that ends up hurt whilst they move on quite the thing as if nothing ever happened. I know the signs so I just don't want to put myself through that again.

I think, no matter what people say, in the beginning, if you are excited about someone, and you have enough time to be posting new pictures online and replying to comments then you want to text that person back. Specifically if they've asked questions to keep the conversation going.

Show quote history

It’s easy to say in hindsight, but I’d be really careful (in future) with sending ‘pics’ and posting things online until you’re really secure and happy with the person you are with.
a few of my friends have been burnt before, and you don’t want to be in that situation so just be careful