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Original poster

To think this is just rude?

213 replies

premiumskint · 11/04/2023 21:25

Been dating a guy for past 4 weeks, we've been on 6 dates so really early days. I'm pretty laid back, as is he, so I've just been going with his texting communication - which has became more and more sporadic. But tried not to dwell on it as I have done in the past with others and just kind of matched his messages. Kept it light and breezy.

Last message was sent by me on Friday evening after a day of back and forth voice notes. Then I didn't hear a peep all weekend. That's fine just assumed busy with Easter etc.

Nothing yesterday then a text today just asking how I was. I replied, he replied, I replied and this was 6 hours ago and there's been nothing since. In this time he has posted on instagram, liked my story and sent a 😍 to my story.

I find it rather rude. My last message was definitely one he could of replied to where I asked him two questions.

I can just feel the change in communication and honestly if it weren't for him viewing my story and posting one himself, I could have pretended in my head that he'd been busy with work and then fell asleep.

If someone's lost interest then that's fair enough but why even start a conversation to then just ignore me AGAIN.

I was actually assuming today that I probably wouldn't hear from him and was feeling okay and then he text me and is now not responding and I'm back to feeling shit.

Should I block his number? I almost want to as sick of sitting waiting for a text. Or is that petty?

OP posts:
Natty13 · 11/04/2023 22:09

premiumskint · 11/04/2023 22:02

I'm 30 and yes I've had some long term relationships so wouldn't say I'm hopeless. I guess the reason is because I know the drill, things fizzle out, I mention it, they promise that nothing is wrong and they're still interested. They make a bit more effort for a little while and then things fizzle out again and round and round we go. It ends up that I feel like I'm going crazy and they think I am crazy and it's always me that ends up hurt whilst they move on quite the thing as if nothing ever happened. I know the signs so I just don't want to put myself through that again.

I think, no matter what people say, in the beginning, if you are excited about someone, and you have enough time to be posting new pictures online and replying to comments then you want to text that person back. Specifically if they've asked questions to keep the conversation going.

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My best advice based on what you've said here is try to fill your life with things that enrich it and keep you happy and busy enough that you don't notice how long since a man has texted you.

You know when you have lunch with a good friend, some wines, then you realise you haven't looked at your phone in 6 hours? Or you've been at a gym class and stay behind chatting for ages, walk away happy and in your thoughts and don't automatically check your phone when you get on the bus. That.

Replying right away makes it obvious you haven't got anything else going on and that in itself is something I always found really unattractive. Don't game play but make yourself naturally less available at the end of a phone.

Whatisthisanyidea · 11/04/2023 22:10

My advice is that you appear to go for the same type of man and that’s not working for you is it?

Try a different type - you may well be surprised!!

blahblahblah1654 · 11/04/2023 22:12

I think that was a stager extreme reaction, to block him! But fair enough if you don't want to see him again.

Original poster
premiumskint · 11/04/2023 22:13

@Natty13 yeah I get that in work all the time, I literally don't have a chance to look at my phone or keep up with messages. But I've been off for the Easter holidays so I will admit I've had a lot more spare time on my hands which probably isn't a good thing for me.

OP posts:
KrisAkabusi · 11/04/2023 22:18

Panda8383 · 11/04/2023 21:46

I don’t think your intense, I think you just want to know where you stand..I think it is pretty rude of him, defo bin him x

If she wants to know where she stands, she should ask him. Instead she's blocked him, and any chance of actually finding out!

Choccyeggs20 · 11/04/2023 22:21

Oh my gosh I’d be so upset if someone I’d been dating for four weeks decided to block me! That’s not a kind way to treat someone and you might end up making a bad reputation for yourself. It’s never good to burn bridges, I’ve learned that the hard way over the years.

One of my friends was ghosted after a few weeks and it really knocked her confidence.

I get it sounds like things aren’t progressing, he’s not as interested as you would like…but please use this as an opportunity to learn how to deal with this in a mature way. Arrange to meet for a coffee or call him and ask him / let him know how you feel and then if you want just let it fizzle.

BingleBongleBoo · 11/04/2023 22:23

Blocking is a bit teenage isn't it?

Christ just ask him

Original poster
premiumskint · 11/04/2023 22:24

Choccyeggs20 · 11/04/2023 22:21

Oh my gosh I’d be so upset if someone I’d been dating for four weeks decided to block me! That’s not a kind way to treat someone and you might end up making a bad reputation for yourself. It’s never good to burn bridges, I’ve learned that the hard way over the years.

One of my friends was ghosted after a few weeks and it really knocked her confidence.

I get it sounds like things aren’t progressing, he’s not as interested as you would like…but please use this as an opportunity to learn how to deal with this in a mature way. Arrange to meet for a coffee or call him and ask him / let him know how you feel and then if you want just let it fizzle.

And then be accused of being over bearing/crazy?

OP posts:
Dotcheck · 11/04/2023 22:28

I think it’s so mean to just block- and immature. Just be a big grown up woman and tell him it’s not working and good luck to him

supersonicginandtonic · 11/04/2023 22:28

My sons 14. He blocks people. You sound very immature.

Whatkindofuckeryisthis · 11/04/2023 22:29

Yeah blocking is a bit weird.. just ask him if this is going anywhere? You’ll never know otherwise? You’ve ruined it for yourself!

Bucketheadbucketbum · 11/04/2023 22:33

Very odd to just block him!!!! Why didn't you ask him?! Maybe he didn't want to appear too keen? The way you describe your responses and expectations is extremely full on for such a new relationship. Are you always like that?

Bucketheadbucketbum · 11/04/2023 22:34

Ps how old are you? Adult?

shutthewindownow · 11/04/2023 22:35

I wouldn't have blocked but I would have let him do the running from now on and I wouldn't have messaged him

LizzieVereker · 11/04/2023 22:35

flutterbyebaby · 11/04/2023 21:43

You sound rather intense, I think he has had a lucky escape

That is so unkind, why bother to post that?

Luredbyapomegranate · 11/04/2023 22:35

He’s just not that into you, as the saying goes.

Good to block if that feels right. Move on.

flutterbyebaby · 11/04/2023 22:40

LizzieVereker · 11/04/2023 22:35

That is so unkind, why bother to post that?

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Because I wanted too

Thepossibility · 11/04/2023 22:40

Did you text him a question or something that really needs a response?
Or does he think that conversation is done? I think the context is important.
Like if you asked him a question and he ignored you all day to potter or social media then that's rude.
If you had just made an inane comment and are blocking him for not batting one right back at you then you are being intense and weird.
I would be more annoyed with the no contact over Easter. Unless he was on the moon a text here and there proves he is interested.

Original poster
premiumskint · 11/04/2023 22:42

He's just messaged me via Facebook (which we don't have each other on or spoke through) asking why I'd blocked him. Ugh I don't like all this.

OP posts:
Original poster
premiumskint · 11/04/2023 22:42

I don't like these conversations

OP posts:
mondaytosunday · 11/04/2023 22:42

Goodness the pressure! My husband didn't call me for a week after our first date. By your reckoning (and other posters) he was a dead loss and I should have blocked.
Just get busy - you yourself said you want to keep things laid back, but this posts sounds like you need constant reassurance.

Whatisthisanyidea · 11/04/2023 22:43

You blocked him and taken back control! He didn’t like that!

Just ignore.

Natty13 · 11/04/2023 22:44

premiumskint · 11/04/2023 22:42

He's just messaged me via Facebook (which we don't have each other on or spoke through) asking why I'd blocked him. Ugh I don't like all this.

Maybe find a more emotionally mature way to deal with these situations then. Grow up. Build some resilience. The right man isn't going to be interested in you if you block him the minute you don't get what you want.

Original poster
premiumskint · 11/04/2023 22:45

Thepossibility · 11/04/2023 22:40

Did you text him a question or something that really needs a response?
Or does he think that conversation is done? I think the context is important.
Like if you asked him a question and he ignored you all day to potter or social media then that's rude.
If you had just made an inane comment and are blocking him for not batting one right back at you then you are being intense and weird.
I would be more annoyed with the no contact over Easter. Unless he was on the moon a text here and there proves he is interested.

I asked him two questions about his weekend and he didn't respond but was on instagram posting photos and responding to comments whilst not responding to me for 6 hours after not speaking since Friday.

Maybe I am intense but it just gives me an uneasy feeling.

OP posts:
CombatBarbie · 11/04/2023 22:46

premiumskint · 11/04/2023 22:42

I don't like these conversations

Joys of being a single adult.

I think you were a bit gun ho with folk here sating block block block.

Just be truthful....

Was there another date planned?

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