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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To think this is just rude?

213 replies

premiumskint · 11/04/2023 21:25

Been dating a guy for past 4 weeks, we've been on 6 dates so really early days. I'm pretty laid back, as is he, so I've just been going with his texting communication - which has became more and more sporadic. But tried not to dwell on it as I have done in the past with others and just kind of matched his messages. Kept it light and breezy.

Last message was sent by me on Friday evening after a day of back and forth voice notes. Then I didn't hear a peep all weekend. That's fine just assumed busy with Easter etc.

Nothing yesterday then a text today just asking how I was. I replied, he replied, I replied and this was 6 hours ago and there's been nothing since. In this time he has posted on instagram, liked my story and sent a 😍 to my story.

I find it rather rude. My last message was definitely one he could of replied to where I asked him two questions.

I can just feel the change in communication and honestly if it weren't for him viewing my story and posting one himself, I could have pretended in my head that he'd been busy with work and then fell asleep.

If someone's lost interest then that's fair enough but why even start a conversation to then just ignore me AGAIN.

I was actually assuming today that I probably wouldn't hear from him and was feeling okay and then he text me and is now not responding and I'm back to feeling shit.

Should I block his number? I almost want to as sick of sitting waiting for a text. Or is that petty?

OP posts:
Mangogirl12 · 12/04/2023 14:21

premiumskint · 12/04/2023 13:58

Regardless I have been spoken to appallingly on here, but I often find that when posters respond in such a vicious manner, it's usually because they are deeply unhappy within their own life so I try and not take it personally.

LOL, the irony! 😂We're not the ones with an self admitted insecure attachment style who has such intense feelings they need to block if they don't get a text reply, then viciously lashes out at posters in such a manner it's obvious one has lost control, that several posters point it out. It's clear who is the one that is deeply unhappy within their own life and it has spilled into their dating life.

ShirleyPhallus · 12/04/2023 14:23

Mangogirl12 · 12/04/2023 14:21

LOL, the irony! 😂We're not the ones with an self admitted insecure attachment style who has such intense feelings they need to block if they don't get a text reply, then viciously lashes out at posters in such a manner it's obvious one has lost control, that several posters point it out. It's clear who is the one that is deeply unhappy within their own life and it has spilled into their dating life.

God MN can be absolutely horrible sometimes

Mangogirl12 · 12/04/2023 14:23

nomoredriving · 12/04/2023 14:12

Yeah right ok

Their lack of self awareness is hilarious isn't it.

Mangogirl12 · 12/04/2023 14:25

Yes god forbid someone on MN not ignore a snipe attack from an OP who is themselves vicious....

premiumskint · 12/04/2023 14:26

@Mangogirl12 I'm not sure where I 'viciously lashed out' - I responded.

OP posts:
Mangogirl12 · 12/04/2023 14:27

premiumskint · 12/04/2023 14:26

@Mangogirl12 I'm not sure where I 'viciously lashed out' - I responded.

As did I.

Mangogirl12 · 12/04/2023 14:28

The fact several people called you out on your vicious replies to people on here shows that more people than just myself saw your replies as vicious.

yewtrees · 12/04/2023 14:45

OP - please do start a new thread to chat and get support.

SparklingLime · 12/04/2023 16:21

Mangogirl12 · 12/04/2023 14:28

The fact several people called you out on your vicious replies to people on here shows that more people than just myself saw your replies as vicious.

You seem vastly over involved with this thread and poster. It's getting increasingly embarrassing.

RememberingGoodTimes · 12/04/2023 16:31

premiumskint · 12/04/2023 14:26

@Mangogirl12 I'm not sure where I 'viciously lashed out' - I responded.

OP - you were absolutely right when you said that there are some very unhappy, bitchy people on this site. Take no notice.

Yes, you can work on improving your confidence and reducing your anxiety around relationships, but also - you are who you are, and I think you sound lovely.

I used to feel incredibly insecure in relationships, until I met my partner. It was easy from the get go. We clicked and got each other. That was 16 years ago.

The right person won't make you feel insecure. They'll communicate in a similar way and will make you feel secure, in the same way that you'll do to them.

You opened up and told him you felt unwanted (in different words), and he replied 'awww ok'. What a prick. I think your instincts were right, that he isn't the one.

RememberingGoodTimes · 12/04/2023 16:32

Mangogirl12 · 12/04/2023 14:28

The fact several people called you out on your vicious replies to people on here shows that more people than just myself saw your replies as vicious.

I agree with a previous poster, you need to relax and move on. You're coming across a little over invested and immature if I'm completely honest.

Mangogirl12 · 12/04/2023 16:35

RememberingGoodTimes · 12/04/2023 16:32

I agree with a previous poster, you need to relax and move on. You're coming across a little over invested and immature if I'm completely honest.

My last post was over 2 hours ago. I think posting at me and dragging me back in is quite over invested and immature. You also miss that the OP took a pop at me so I responded. I think that's fair enough that I should have that right. I'm sure if you were attacked and sniped at you'd want to defend yourself, too.

nomoredriving · 12/04/2023 16:40

@Mangogirl12 I would take zero notice of @RememberingGoodTimes , she's currently going through threads policing them and making snide comments to people who don't agree with her. Whilst telling them how they should behave, the irony!

premiumskint · 12/04/2023 16:46

Mangogirl12 you said -
You sound extremely high maintenance, stage 5 clingy and truly hard work. It's good you blocked him because he can find a less highly strung and dramatic woman. Geesus, you're the type of woman men run from. Ease up, be casual. Not a stage 5 clinger.

And I replied - I'd rather be a 'stage 5 clinger' than a vitriolic person like yourself.

I think you got as good as you gave and you don't like it.

OP posts:
premiumskint · 12/04/2023 16:47

So you took a 'pop' at me first @Mangogirl12. I retaliated.

OP posts:
Mangogirl12 · 12/04/2023 16:48

premiumskint · 12/04/2023 16:46

Mangogirl12 you said -
You sound extremely high maintenance, stage 5 clingy and truly hard work. It's good you blocked him because he can find a less highly strung and dramatic woman. Geesus, you're the type of woman men run from. Ease up, be casual. Not a stage 5 clinger.

And I replied - I'd rather be a 'stage 5 clinger' than a vitriolic person like yourself.

I think you got as good as you gave and you don't like it.

You asked for advice, you got it and you didn't like it. Later on, you showed your true colours, and several other people called you out on it. It is what it is.

ShirleyPhallus · 12/04/2023 16:52

Mangogirl12 · 12/04/2023 16:48

You asked for advice, you got it and you didn't like it. Later on, you showed your true colours, and several other people called you out on it. It is what it is.

that quote is several personal insults, not “advice”

premiumskint · 12/04/2023 16:52

@Mangogirl12 If that's how you give advice to people who are down then I pity you because I truly don't believe that a happy person speaks to people like that. I hope you feel better soon Flowers

OP posts:
Mangogirl12 · 12/04/2023 17:00

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

5128gap · 12/04/2023 17:34

I think you were right to step away. You have an expectation that when you message a man with a question he will answer you. Just because some women on here don't have this expectation and would be happy being 'ignored' for hours, doesn't make you wrong to want that. Unfortunately, this man isn't giving that. Now, you could approach that by lowering your expectations or pretending to be ok with it so as not to put him off, but honestly, unless you're desperate for a date, why would you? There's plenty of men out there that message regularly and in good time, so I'm sure you'll find one more suited to you. Also, trust your instincts. If you sense them cooling off, it's usually because they are.

PoseyFlump · 12/04/2023 17:35

Well this thread took a turn 😳

Nooyoiknooyoik · 12/04/2023 18:25

5128gap · 12/04/2023 17:34

I think you were right to step away. You have an expectation that when you message a man with a question he will answer you. Just because some women on here don't have this expectation and would be happy being 'ignored' for hours, doesn't make you wrong to want that. Unfortunately, this man isn't giving that. Now, you could approach that by lowering your expectations or pretending to be ok with it so as not to put him off, but honestly, unless you're desperate for a date, why would you? There's plenty of men out there that message regularly and in good time, so I'm sure you'll find one more suited to you. Also, trust your instincts. If you sense them cooling off, it's usually because they are.

Good advice.

urkthehea · 12/04/2023 19:27

This reply has been deleted

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ElsieMc · 12/04/2023 19:44

Yes, horrible posts from @Mangogirl12. Bet you are glad you came on here for advice op! The worst side of MN.

SeeWhatYouGetWhenYouAskAStupidQuestion · 12/04/2023 19:49

You sound very needy. You've been seeing him for 4 weeks and text him all the time, by the sound of it, but are thinking of blocking him because he left it 6 hours without replying? Don't you know that men hate to be chased and dislike needy women? (my sons say that). You probably need to spend more time with friends/hobbies/other activities.

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