To think this is just rude?

[premiumskint]

Been dating a guy for past 4 weeks, we've been on 6 dates so really early days. I'm pretty laid back, as is he, so I've just been going with his texting communication - which has became more and more sporadic. But tried not to dwell on it as I have done in the past with others and just kind of matched his messages. Kept it light and breezy.

Last message was sent by me on Friday evening after a day of back and forth voice notes. Then I didn't hear a peep all weekend. That's fine just assumed busy with Easter etc.

Nothing yesterday then a text today just asking how I was. I replied, he replied, I replied and this was 6 hours ago and there's been nothing since. In this time he has posted on instagram, liked my story and sent a 😍 to my story.

I find it rather rude. My last message was definitely one he could of replied to where I asked him two questions.

I can just feel the change in communication and honestly if it weren't for him viewing my story and posting one himself, I could have pretended in my head that he'd been busy with work and then fell asleep.

If someone's lost interest then that's fair enough but why even start a conversation to then just ignore me AGAIN.

I was actually assuming today that I probably wouldn't hear from him and was feeling okay and then he text me and is now not responding and I'm back to feeling shit.

Should I block his number? I almost want to as sick of sitting waiting for a text. Or is that petty?

You don't sound that laid back... If you like this guy, blocking him was a bit rash! Hope it works out the way you (both) want it x

Yeah I think I'm probably not ready to date or in the right mindset

I don't think people have been where you are op! I have. And some guys send you bloody bonkers with their mind fuckery.
And yes, I'm laid back until it comes to fuckwits who leave you guessing. And like the op, pulled them up on it, and got the old "aww, I don't know what you're talking about, nothing is wrong, I'm just busy" bullshit.
I can tell you this op, when the person is right, there is no 'guessing' and it isn't hard work, it just bloody flows because you both want to see each other.
You are not hard work.

You were right all along then. At least you didn't waste any more time.

Totally agree with @Datgal , isn't this behaviour (his) known as breadcrumbing ?

Actually it may be..... I've pulled men up on this before I met DH and breadcrumbing had a name 😂

Right all along? No. If I actually liked someone, then they blocked me because I won’t have long, pointless text exchanges for days in end then my reply would be “lol, ok, glad I’m swerving you.”

I'm not going to play games and beg them to give me a chance. I’d thank God and get out of there coz that person is going to be a demanding nightmare and I’d just be happy I found out early on.

Sorry but you’ve come off a little intense. I am
not a big at texting, even if I really like someone and it’s all new, I’d rather arrange dates or see them than sit on the phone texting all the time.

I think you should have spoken to him before blocking him, sorry it just sounds a little immature to block straight away without finding out where you stand in the relationship. He’s messaged you via Facebook because it’s out the blue for him, for him everything was going okay and you two were just new.

I think you should take some time to think about what you’d like from a relationship and when you start dating someone else maybe let them know that toy like to be in contact a bit more

'I don't, but why message me, then ignore my reply and respond to others on instagram. We all know that's not how we act if we are into someone romantically.'

But he didn't ignore your reply, he replied to your reply. Not every text has to follow up with a massive chain of messages, he checked in them got on with his evening.

I hope you've made the right decision blocking as there's no going back without looking batshit for blocking someone for not talking to you for a while 6 hours.

You are behaving like a teenager. All these voice notes & messages, then he fails to respond quickly enough so you've blocked him. You need to calm down or you'll fuck up your next 'relationship' too.

I don't think it's rude no. People have different expectations. You messaged all day Friday then each did your own stuff over Easter. You didn't initiate anything for Easter. After Easter hols you message again but it's not enough.
Today you block him and he contacts you to ask what's going on and you tell him you're annoyed he didn't answer. He says he was asleep which you know is a lie. I think it's a white lie because even now you're still texting. All day Friday you did voice messages then still you text him. After Easter he asks how you are, you reply and ask something, he replies but you ask something else.....it just never ends. He's probably thinking 'what do you want, I haven't time for this banal drivel.

I'm not saying you're boring, really I'm not but constant texting is so irritating. I have some friends who do this......one long drawn out conversation over weeeeeeks. I just punctuate with a thumbs up. If it's a (another) question I might ignore....and I think that's fine. There's no right and wrong but you could have lost a nice boyfriend because of your 'texpectations'

Times have moved on from the couple of phone calls a week and one date at the weekend, especially if it is online. If he was messaging fine before and has tailed off then I would say it isn't going anywhere. I find it odd people are saying otherwise - I wouldn't treat anyone like that, particularly not someone I am excited about a possible future with. Perhaps if he had been a slow messenger from the outset, but at this stage it should be ramping up not tailing off.

Listen to your gut OP - I do agree it would be fine to message him and say good bye, but also I know how relentless and difficult dating in these times is and I get why you would block. Trust yourself. Getting rid of the wrong ones quickly means you will get to the right one sooner.

You know when a man is interested.

Your texting styles don't align. You made a decision, trust it.

You did the right thing. Nothing worse than checking a phone for a message that doesn’t come.

@premiumskint

In the nicest possible way lay off!!

You sound so intense.

Judging every guy you start dating like the last one is exactly why your getting in a pickle

Be happy in to our own skin ,relax.

Blocking because he didn't reply to your message for six hours is quite frankly bizarre and it's probably totally
Put him off.

It certainly would me.

If it was a guy posting with the same thing he'd be told to stop being like a stalker ffs

I don’t believe in blocking, I prefer to just ignore. Unless of course it becomes nasty etc. or you don’t want them to see your social media posts.

Yanbu and I think your instinct is right, he’s probably losing interest if previously the contact was pretty frequent and is now less and less.

I’ve been in that situation many many times when dating and in that scenario it always turned out that the guy wasn’t that into me. Few times I had “the talk” with them and they confirmed - they’re having fun but don’t want anything serious (with me).

In the contrast, my now DH always made an effort, communicated properly, it didn’t feel stressful at all. The right relationship shouldn’t feel like hard work.

🤣 well you made the right call

I agree with @yewtrees

I think people do need to take breaks but i did OLD for a few years and met my now DH when i was coming off the back of a pretty shit break up / car crash fireball with an emotionally unavailable guy who was separating from his wife.
I am now up at 3am dealing with our snotty and wheezy DD.!!! (Dh did the 10-3 shift)

What i would say is this.
When i met him it was easy. Shockingly "easy".
It was easy to find time to meet 2 - 3 times per week despite demanding lives / jobs.
When we spent time together it was fun and easy and relaxed.
When i wasnt with him i never doubted if he had read my messages or had that slightly sick /anxious feeling i had experienced so many times in the past. I was totally chilled /calm and just "knew" he was in meetings or whatever and couldnt reply.
Everything about his behaviour told me that he cared and was interested and there was no awkward "are we dating exclusively" nonsense. It just progressed.

There was zero drama and no big fireworks - it just felt good and calm and easy.

Thats the wrong quote 🤦‍♀️ i meant to quote the (awful) "awww okay" message

I mean why even bother to look you up on fb... ?

This has to be a bit of joke. You’d rather block him, someone it sounds like you’re a bit hung up on and never gonna see again than ask them where you stand and have ‘the potential’ to be called over bearing/crazy by someone you won’t see again? Are you sure you’re not a teenager?
mite ok if you are, everyone needs advice, your actions just sound disproportionate and a bit irrational

He should have text back and not left you hanging and he cannot give you what you want. If someone is truly interested they will show you and he did not and did not make plans for Easter either. Am glad am single but I am so much older and just could not be arsed with it all. Take some time out for yourself and you will meet someone in time and it will just happen naturally.

...he admitted years later he was trying to play it cool and not reply too quickly

Men do exactly this because if they reply too quickly, they're called out for being far too keen or looking desperate. If they leave it too long (or get busy and don't have time to respond, or simply read the message and forgot about it) then suddenly they're not interested enough. It's a fine line to walk.

Honestly though OP you do sound very intense. Straight up blocking someone because they didn't reply to your messages but you saw them doing something else online comes across as major attention seeking behaviour.

Well, why so much texting?
Why not speak and also see each other.
A delightful outing once per week and two or three actual phone calls per week should be enough.
You both have your own lives and I get that you are texting also but why so much judgement on the texting?
If you lived together and did not respond to a text I could understand or if you were trying to meet up and were failing to respond to where abouts you are etc, I would be annoyed but you are going out and do not live together and have no reason to text every hour..
If you want a long future with someone who texts often, this man is not for you.

You sound extremely high maintenance, stage 5 clingy and truly hard work. It's good you blocked him because he can find a less highly strung and dramatic woman. Geesus, you're the type of woman men run from. Ease up, be casual. Not a stage 5 clinger.

Blinking heck, this is the kind of thing my DD’s friends in 6th form obsess about.

If you’re policing his social media responses over 6 hours it’s probably best it’s died a death.

This is the polar opposite of laid back.