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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel hard done by.

207 replies

RabbitWarrren · 07/04/2023 09:07

DH is a part time teacher. Reduced his hours when I got a promotion. Our kids are 1 and 4. He is on holidays now. He takes them out for days etc to different parks, zoo, pub etc. I'm a bit jealous!

He doesn't do any of the kid or home admin or anything or much cleaning. I work v hard.

The kids ask for him now all the time. Especially the little one. I went back to work after 3 months to keep being able to afford all the costs.

Feel bit hard done by. AIBU? I really like my job. He says if I get another promotion he'll quit all together.

Am I unreasonable to say I don't want him to quit? I'm also worried because he can be a right grumpy arse sometimes and I think about splitting and if he quits his job I'm screwed!!

I guess this is just a modern set up. It's hard feeling disconnected from the kids.

OP posts:
Jojobalone · 09/04/2023 09:48

The kids ask for him now all the time.

so they don’t actually or they do?

Jojobalone · 09/04/2023 09:50

Sorry if missed but what is his “part time”? How many days? Hours?

Casilero · 09/04/2023 09:53

He sounds dreadful, I feel so sorry for you. Really hope you manage to extract yourself from him.

RabbitWarrren · 09/04/2023 13:47

I do take them out at weekends @Jojobalone

OP posts:
RabbitWarrren · 09/04/2023 14:53

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4778063-to-just-let-them-all-go-long-residency-battle

I then read threads like this and think bloody hell I just need to keep working on my marriage @billy1966 My heart breaks for this woman and all the other women who experience even 10% of this trauma.

The possible repercussions of leaving and unleashing the revenge/hatred....rather than just doing the laundry and cleaning forever....

To just let them all go? (Long Residency Battle) | Mumsnet

Mumsnet makes parents' lives easier by pooling knowledge, advice and support on everything from conception to childbirth, from babies to teenagers.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4778063-to-just-let-them-all-go-long-residency-battle

OP posts:
Botw1 · 09/04/2023 14:55

@RabbitWarrren

You cant work on your marriage alone.

billy1966 · 09/04/2023 15:04

I just want to remind you how NOT normal it is to snarl at your partner.

After 30 years of marriage and definitely at times irritating each other with 4 small children, we NEVER snarled at each other.

Occasionally snippy, but snarling like that is not normal.

That is vicious and the reserve of nasty abusive men.

Read up "detaching emotionally" from him, that will take his power away from him.

If you get the opportunity to record him being unpleasant, do.

Keep your phone VERY securely pin coded.

Keep your notes.

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