Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is so cheeky?

679 replies

WillowtreeHouse · 05/04/2023 09:10

I'm on a group chat for a running group. There are around 10 of us on this group but people dip in and out depending on job/life etc. Sometimes new people join the group, some leave, and we go out for dinner about once every 4 months or so and it's a nice way for everyone to get together (if they want). Sometimes there are 10 people there, sometimes 2 it just depends on how busy people are. Any one of us will suggest getting together, no one is 'in charge' of the group.

Last night I posted a message to see if anyone fancied meeting up for dinner/drinks next week. A couple of people replied 'sure, what about the new Chinese etc' and a few more people responded with a yes, some with a no, the usual stuff.

One woman, who I've only met once because she joined a month ago and we've never run at the same time since, (the group meet twice a week, I always try to make one of them) said 'I can't afford dinner out, let's just go to Willow's since she suggested the get together'.

I don't want to host 7 people at my house on a Wednesday night. I didn't invite everyone to mine and the fact that she said she can't afford it suggests that she expects me to pay for everything - which I would if I invited people round, but I haven't. I fancied paying £15 for the Chinese buffet and being home by half nine!

Another member said we always just meet for dinner somewhere, it's easier for everyone that way. To which she has responded with a snippy 'if you invite, you host'.

I haven't responded yet - I will - but I absolutely do not want to host. I just think this is really fucking rude?

OP posts:
MavisMcMinty · 09/04/2023 17:31

OP resolved the problem many pages ago, as you might know if you’d bothered to read the full thread, or at least the OP’s updates.

Original poster
WillowtreeHouse · 09/04/2023 18:42

Sorry, it's been a busy day!

Well the run did go ahead today with 5 of us and yes, she did come. You would think it would have been awkward after the messages during the week and you would be right because it was fucking excruciating. We all stood around making small talk waiting for the last runner who was only about 2 mins late but felt like about a year. I did far too many over the top stretches to try and make it look as if I was incredibly busy and unbothered and just looked like a bit of a dickhead (I know this because my friend told me 😂). Nothing was said about it at all. Not one thing.

OP posts:
Crumpetdisappointment · 09/04/2023 18:49

ha ha
awkward
thanks for updating

GoldenGorilla · 09/04/2023 19:00

😅

pam290358 · 09/04/2023 19:04

SazCat · 09/04/2023 12:44

No unfortunately I juts have 3 dots at the top of the post, with options Bookmark, Quote, Report.

Maybe as I'm on android not iPhone?

Show quote history

Bugger, never mind. Could be. Maybe if you message MN they can advise. Meanwhile, can anyone tell me what violet gin is like please. I love gin and have seen this but it’s the colour of meths !!

WoofWoofBeachLife · 09/04/2023 19:35

@pam290358 it's like the sweet Parma Violet, sweet and flowery and lush. Try it. That's unbelievable the CF couldn't even acknowledge she was a dick. She must have a hide like a rhino lol 😆 x
I'm on android and I can't seen all the OP posts on the app. I've saved the desktop version and it took a wee bit to get used to but I prefer it to the app now.

SmallAngryPenguinWoman · 09/04/2023 19:35

Oh god, that sounds cringingly awful OP. But at least you were well stretched 😉

Mia184 · 09/04/2023 20:57

Stretching is always good after a run! 😊

Ooolaaaala · 10/04/2023 09:55

Well done - mission accomplished.

She’s back in her box due to your dignified silence. Treat these characters like toddlers - with detached indifference.

PuggyMum · 10/04/2023 09:58

Are a few of you still going for the Chinese this week!

ClairDeLaLune · 10/04/2023 10:25

Is the Chinese still on OP? Please update us afterwards!

Original poster
WillowtreeHouse · 10/04/2023 13:48

PuggyMum · 10/04/2023 09:58

Are a few of you still going for the Chinese this week!

Yep, 7 of us going, she hasn't said that she is or isn't coming so I suppose it'll be a lovely surprise on the night!

OP posts:
AlisonDonut · 10/04/2023 13:52

WillowtreeHouse · 10/04/2023 13:48

Yep, 7 of us going, she hasn't said that she is or isn't coming so I suppose it'll be a lovely surprise on the night!

Show quote history

Especially if you have only booked a table for 7.

T1Dmama · 10/04/2023 16:06

She’ll probably join another running group soon.
Id have changed the WhatsApp group name to ‘the friendly bunch’ 😂😂

ColdHandsHotHead · 10/04/2023 16:54

Make sure she pays her share of the bill ok.

PoshDoors · 10/04/2023 16:57

whowhatwerewhy · 09/04/2023 13:10

@SazCat
This is what I see on iPhone

I see the option beneath the post, vs above.

Saschka · 10/04/2023 17:16

T1Dmama · 10/04/2023 16:06

She’ll probably join another running group soon.
Id have changed the WhatsApp group name to ‘the friendly bunch’ 😂😂

Unfortunately I bet she will stay in this group until everyone else leaves! If she was receptive to hints, she wouldn’t be digging her heels in over OP owing her a free meal.

I’ve seen this happen a few times, and the original group splintered into smaller separate meet-ups, because nobody had the balls to say “Newbie, you aren’t a good fit for this group, please stop coming”, even though we were all thinking it.

Mia184 · 10/04/2023 18:00

You might want to make sure before ordering that she doesn’t surprise you all by having “forgotten” to bring any money with her.

Emotionalsupportviper · 10/04/2023 19:26

WoofWoofBeachLife · 09/04/2023 19:35

@pam290358 it's like the sweet Parma Violet, sweet and flowery and lush. Try it. That's unbelievable the CF couldn't even acknowledge she was a dick. She must have a hide like a rhino lol 😆 x
I'm on android and I can't seen all the OP posts on the app. I've saved the desktop version and it took a wee bit to get used to but I prefer it to the app now.

This ➡the sweet Parma Violet, sweet and flowery and lush. As @WoofWoofBeachLife says.

It is delicious.

Any resemblance to methylated spirits is purely chromatic. It is the delicately-flavoured tipple of the gods.

Emotionalsupportviper · 10/04/2023 19:29

Mia184 · 10/04/2023 18:00

You might want to make sure before ordering that she doesn’t surprise you all by having “forgotten” to bring any money with her.

Good idea - a general "Can everyone check before we order that have all brought our wallets/ purses/ cards with us? We don't want to have to leave anyone behind to do the washing up when it's time to go home."

ReadersD1gest · 10/04/2023 19:48

Just get separate bills. No way anyone can mess with that.

Emotionalsupportviper · 10/04/2023 19:52

"Oh - good heavens! I seem to have forgotten my purse. Perhaps someone could put my meal on their card and I'll sort it tomorrow . . . "

Gothambutnotahamster · 11/04/2023 13:19

Well done for standing your ground Op. She's an absolute CF with no shame whatsoever! Hope you have a lovely meal!

CoraPirbright · 12/04/2023 19:09

Do let us know if she turns up at tonight’s run!!

Loobieloogold · 13/04/2023 08:39

......checking thread before starting work for an update on the CF drama.......