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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think this is so cheeky?

679 replies

WillowtreeHouse · 05/04/2023 09:10

I'm on a group chat for a running group. There are around 10 of us on this group but people dip in and out depending on job/life etc. Sometimes new people join the group, some leave, and we go out for dinner about once every 4 months or so and it's a nice way for everyone to get together (if they want). Sometimes there are 10 people there, sometimes 2 it just depends on how busy people are. Any one of us will suggest getting together, no one is 'in charge' of the group.

Last night I posted a message to see if anyone fancied meeting up for dinner/drinks next week. A couple of people replied 'sure, what about the new Chinese etc' and a few more people responded with a yes, some with a no, the usual stuff.

One woman, who I've only met once because she joined a month ago and we've never run at the same time since, (the group meet twice a week, I always try to make one of them) said 'I can't afford dinner out, let's just go to Willow's since she suggested the get together'.

I don't want to host 7 people at my house on a Wednesday night. I didn't invite everyone to mine and the fact that she said she can't afford it suggests that she expects me to pay for everything - which I would if I invited people round, but I haven't. I fancied paying £15 for the Chinese buffet and being home by half nine!

Another member said we always just meet for dinner somewhere, it's easier for everyone that way. To which she has responded with a snippy 'if you invite, you host'.

I haven't responded yet - I will - but I absolutely do not want to host. I just think this is really fucking rude?

OP posts:
IhearyouClemFandango · 05/04/2023 09:11

I would just say "haha, nope".

fairgame84 · 05/04/2023 09:12

Shut that down straight away.
Reply that you always meet at a restaurant and don't host at home. She's new to the group, she can't start dictating how you do your meet ups.

NEmama · 05/04/2023 09:13

"we're all busy so we go out to eat. Maybe you can make the next one"

caramac04 · 05/04/2023 09:13

I’d say that’s not how it works but if you want to host next time that’s great.

Mercurial123 · 05/04/2023 09:13

Just reply sorry you can't join us on this occasion, hopefully see you at the next dinner. She's a chancer.

Coffeellama · 05/04/2023 09:13

Just reply ‘no in this group we meet at other places, it was a suggestion for a meet up not an invite to pay and cook for you all sorry’ add in a laughing emoji or something. Just nip it in the bud quickly and naturally rather than making a big deal.

EVHead · 05/04/2023 09:14

Very rude! Get that nipped in the bud!

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 05/04/2023 09:14

Sounds great. I'll be around on Wednesday. Please cook lots, I'll be hungry.

Anyone else coming?

Valour · 05/04/2023 09:14

"I'm not hosting. Shall we say 7 at the Chinese?"

Soproudoflionesses · 05/04/2023 09:14

This is probably the best CF thread l have ever seen.
Omg the nerve of her!!!

PlantDoctor · 05/04/2023 09:14

She's the weird one. Going out for dinner is not the same amount of effort as hosting. Just say you don't want to. No-one else will expect you to!

DeltaAlphaDelta79 · 05/04/2023 09:15

She has very different expectations of the group and I would need to be saying something politely to explain the situation, but absolutely would refuse to host.

7Worfs · 05/04/2023 09:15

Ignore her entirely. Your next message to the group should be: “7pm at Restaurant X, see you all there! 🥘 “

Somethingsnappy · 05/04/2023 09:15

Mercurial123 · 05/04/2023 09:13

Just reply sorry you can't join us on this occasion, hopefully see you at the next dinner. She's a chancer.

This!

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 05/04/2023 09:16

I don't get how some people have the nerve to say stuff like that! Especially being new to the group.

Just tell her that's not how it works

DDivaStar · 05/04/2023 09:16

Id just post, not up for hosting (tag newbie) we usually go out much easier.

Santasoorplooms · 05/04/2023 09:17

“I’ve booked a table at X for 5 at 7pm” let me know by Friday if you can make it or not so I can finalise the numbers. We’ll obviously split the bill/pay for ourselves as usual.”

h3ll0o · 05/04/2023 09:17

Valour · 05/04/2023 09:14

"I'm not hosting. Shall we say 7 at the Chinese?"

This 👆

WordtoYoMumma · 05/04/2023 09:17

I would reply to her "if you invite, you host" with a "haha, nope!"

Then just arrange a time to go to the Chinese.

No one would ever try and arrange anything if being the person who suggests it opens you up to being contractually obliged to host at your house 😂😂😂

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 05/04/2023 09:19

"I'm not hosting. If you fancy hosting you are more than welcome to arrange it.

Meet at X at Y pm?"

Ankleblisters · 05/04/2023 09:20

It wasn't an 'invite'. It was a suggestion!

LookItsMeAgain · 05/04/2023 09:20

Reply "Oh you are a funny one. April 1st was last Saturday! We post up a suggestion on where we can go out and if you can make it, you make it, if not, you don't. That's all. Pity you can't make this one. Maybe you'll be able to make another one in the future? Hope you have a lovely Easter break"

Sittwritt · 05/04/2023 09:21

You did not invite you out it out there.

Hosting when you have kids takes the joy out of getting away from the chores and having a break.

Shes a vulgar righteous cow.

BusyMum47 · 05/04/2023 09:21

7Worfs · 05/04/2023 09:15

Ignore her entirely. Your next message to the group should be: “7pm at Restaurant X, see you all there! 🥘 “

This! ⬆️ Cheeky cow.

BusyMum47 · 05/04/2023 09:23

Santasoorplooms · 05/04/2023 09:17

“I’ve booked a table at X for 5 at 7pm” let me know by Friday if you can make it or not so I can finalise the numbers. We’ll obviously split the bill/pay for ourselves as usual.”

Making the point about paying for yourselves is a great idea!!