Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be a little miserable

449 replies

NotEspeciallyHappyValley · 02/04/2023 08:27

We are supposed to be flying out this afternoon on a big family holiday. First big holiday since our plans were cancelled in April 2020 - and with us both working in the NHS we could do with the break

Unfortunately DP has started with a migraine this morning. Happens once every few months. Severe headache, paracetamol and ibuprofen not touching it. Doesn’t look like we can fly today - and no flights tomorrow

Obviously we are all a bit pissed off about this - but DP has just told me off for being miserable and said I need to snap out of this. Given this is a much wanted holiday - and we’ll probably not be covered by insurance for this - am I allowed to wallow in a little misery?

OP posts:
MedievalMadness · 03/04/2023 16:45

Brilliant news. Have a lovely holiday

uncomfortablydumb53 · 03/04/2023 17:16

That's great news!
Hope you have a lovely holiday

Minalima · 03/04/2023 17:48

If it helps I used to suffer terrible migraines and now I’m on amitriptyline and I haven’t had one since last August. It’s changed my life. Definitely something to look into.

Diva66 · 03/04/2023 18:04

So glad you made it !

Margerine78 · 03/04/2023 18:13

determinedtomakethiswork · 02/04/2023 08:35

I agree with this.

Don't even think of not knowing yourself. Whether he goes is his decision, but you need your holiday as well.

Show quote history

Totally agree with going ahead OP - he shouldn't want you to miss out. However, as someone that gets migraines, they are debilitating. He should go to the docs, get some sumatriptan, they're amazing.

MrsJaxTeller3 · 03/04/2023 18:16

NotEspeciallyHappyValley · 02/04/2023 08:27

We are supposed to be flying out this afternoon on a big family holiday. First big holiday since our plans were cancelled in April 2020 - and with us both working in the NHS we could do with the break

Unfortunately DP has started with a migraine this morning. Happens once every few months. Severe headache, paracetamol and ibuprofen not touching it. Doesn’t look like we can fly today - and no flights tomorrow

Obviously we are all a bit pissed off about this - but DP has just told me off for being miserable and said I need to snap out of this. Given this is a much wanted holiday - and we’ll probably not be covered by insurance for this - am I allowed to wallow in a little misery?

I suffer with chronic migraine syndrome, I have fewer migraine free days a month than I have pain, indescribable, blinding, spewing pain. I have flown long and short haul, I have had a migraine before, during and after a flight, during a holiday, during an excursion on a holiday, I just take my meds and drink water and pray for the dark room. If you're partner cannot do any of the above then he needs a&e. I have 'stroke mimic' symptoms. I have four children. I would not refuse to fly. Also, before anyone says anything pertaining to my medical diagnosis, it is medically diagnosed, by a neurologist that I paid private to see.

Twentyfirstcenturymumma · 03/04/2023 18:32

Fabulous that you've made it. You sound very kind, OP
Migraine sufferer myself so to all those saying snap out of it you just don't get it
I had years of prescription drugs plus codeine otc, no help and horrid side effects with codeine
Eventually found that paracetamol extra preceded by the 3mg buccal prochlorperazine, which I get on prescription, did it.

Have a lovely holiday all of you

begoneday · 03/04/2023 18:34

Why can’t he fly with a migraine ? They are awful but they’re no reason to miss a much needed holiday ….

Mary54 · 03/04/2023 18:39

Pippa12 · 02/04/2023 08:30

Why can’t he fly ☹️ If you’re confident it’s a migraine I’d go and him catch up with me in a few days!? No point in you all missing out! I’m surprised that’s not what he’s saying to you!!! X

If this has already been said, I apologize…..

Some people seem to think any sort of bad headache is a migraine. My DM suffered with migraines for many years so I know from experience just how awful they can be.
There is no way someone with a migraine could travel to an airport, let alone be fit to fly. Nor could they be left alone to recover and reschedule.
Think unable to sit up due to the pain, forget standing or walking. Unable to tolerate any light or sound. Vomiting continuously-in her case usually for 2 or 3 days.

cherish123 · 03/04/2023 18:50

Could you go without them? Are others going? Or could they meet you later?

Dagnabit · 03/04/2023 18:50

begoneday · 03/04/2023 18:34

Why can’t he fly with a migraine ? They are awful but they’re no reason to miss a much needed holiday ….

They are probably already there by now and it’s not a he, it’s a she. Guess you missed the updates!

ConstanceOcean · 03/04/2023 18:53

begoneday · 03/04/2023 18:34

Why can’t he fly with a migraine ? They are awful but they’re no reason to miss a much needed holiday ….

They’re already on the way :)

OP said his wife was feeling a bit better so they paid extra to drive there to get into the flight quicker.

Hopefully his wife feels better soon and they all have a lovely time.

FloydPepper · 03/04/2023 19:00

Brilliant thread

when it was assumed it was a man with the migraine he was faking it. When it was known to be a woman then the OPs reluctance to go was because he didn’t want to manage his kids!

Missingpop · 03/04/2023 19:00

Sorry but what a miserable fucking git; if I were you love I’d say I’m not miserable I’m disappointed your going to miss out on our holiday but hey never mind see you when I get back; then I’d get to the airport get on that plane & fly off on holiday & enjoy every second of it, deal with his grumpy mug when you get back but enjoy your holiday!!

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 03/04/2023 19:04

Glad that was the ending of it all!

im sure migraines are absolutely awful, but would have been such a shame to miss it!Have fun!

FloydPepper · 03/04/2023 19:05

Missingpop · 03/04/2023 19:00

Sorry but what a miserable fucking git; if I were you love I’d say I’m not miserable I’m disappointed your going to miss out on our holiday but hey never mind see you when I get back; then I’d get to the airport get on that plane & fly off on holiday & enjoy every second of it, deal with his grumpy mug when you get back but enjoy your holiday!!

Op is a man. Ill partner is a woman. Still think she’s a miserable git?

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 03/04/2023 19:15

OP. So glad you all made your flight and can go on your holiday.

One thing tho, your DW is very brave to pick herself up and get on that long haul flight. Migraines are unpredictable. She must have felt truly awful to be the cause of stopping the holiday. She's a star. I hope you appreciate that.

Justgorgeous · 03/04/2023 19:20

Why didn’t you get on the flight ??

Rosula · 03/04/2023 19:27

Justgorgeous · 03/04/2023 19:20

Why didn’t you get on the flight ??

Huh? Have you read OP's posts?

AmberMcAmber · 03/04/2023 19:39

I have similar migraines and when not breastfeeding I take triptans to help…. If I was unable to fly under similar circumstances I’d be telling my family to go and I’ll catch up - no way would I want to ruin everyone else’s time!

Jack80 · 03/04/2023 19:41

I home you managed to go with it without him.

ConstanceOcean · 03/04/2023 19:44

Jack80 · 03/04/2023 19:41

I home you managed to go with it without him.

OP and his wife have now gone on the holiday.

thebestbirtheraccordingtoDD · 03/04/2023 20:07

Woohoo. Great update. Have an amazing holiday

Gingernan · 03/04/2023 20:12

Migraine can be devastating, you can be literally vomiting, in agony and incapable for a couple of days.He really couldn't manage a flight just now.Go without him.He can't help it.

MultipleVeganPies · 03/04/2023 20:14

It’s a shame he can’t go

but you can still go?! Why on earth not?

why everybody or nobody?

we were in the same situation 2 yrs ago, so DH went with the kids. Yeah it sucked for me, but why should their holiday have been ruined too?